African American
In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]radical noodle
(8,003 posts)I don't think there are many people who can honestly say they've never said hurtful things in the heat of anger... some of us to those we love rather than to an anonymous poster. The same people who are delighting in your pain are those who are guilty of silently (or perhaps not so silently) promoting hurtful things here. I know I often find myself biting my knuckles to keep from posting a quick, hateful reply to people (most of whom deserve it).
All you can do is apologize and try to not let it happen again. Those who love you and those who are decent people will accept your apology and move on from here. Those who don't are not worth knowing.
Some have been poking at AAs for months with ridiculous racist bullshit and now are just shocked that someone finally snapped.
Don't keep beating yourself up over this. Learn from this and go on to keep fighting the good fight.