i was posting something so depressing --then the internet went out

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kind of a non suicide -suicide note ... a word salad of tears and anger X loneliness and mental pain mixed with physical pain .

Its times like these that keep me alive to die another day ( sorry James Bond title )

shit it was a good one too about calling a list of so called therapists twice and getting no call backs then my wife calling them in her cheery non desperate voice and I bet she gets called back from everyone one of them so she can think I'm more of a failure for being so weak and sick .......oh well god night somehow and may the net not crash in our times of need .

Do you sometimes feel you have all the answers but don't listen to them ?