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Fri Apr 26, 2013, 11:04 PM

 

i was posting something so depressing --then the internet went out

kind of a non suicide -suicide note ... a word salad of tears and anger X loneliness and mental pain mixed with physical pain .

Its times like these that keep me alive to die another day ( sorry James Bond title )

shit it was a good one too about calling a list of so called therapists twice and getting no call backs then my wife calling them in her cheery non desperate voice and I bet she gets called back from everyone one of them so she can think I'm more of a failure for being so weak and sick .......oh well god night somehow and may the net not crash in our times of need .

Do you sometimes feel you have all the answers but don't listen to them ?

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Reply i was posting something so depressing --then the internet went out (Original post)
olddots Apr 2013 OP
NYC_SKP Apr 2013 #1
hunter Apr 2013 #2
olddots Apr 2013 #3
hunter Apr 2013 #4
Locut0s Apr 2013 #5
olddots Apr 2013 #6

Response to olddots (Original post)

Fri Apr 26, 2013, 11:29 PM

1. Not sure.

 

I do, however, know that I sometimes way over-think matters and that sometimes when I do it's counterproductive.

Sometimes we really do have to take a break, let it go, take a nap, distract toward the things that are good in life.

They are there, always, but we don't always allow ourselves to see them.

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Response to olddots (Original post)

Sat Apr 27, 2013, 01:26 PM

2. I'm superstitious about things like that.

Whenever a glitch eats a post in progress, especially a long one, I think "maybe this wasn't meant to be." Sometimes I'll rewrite it, sometimes not.



If I had my radar on for "all the answers" I'd go crazy. My head is full of answers, not all of them good answers.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed I back off and live in the moment.

Many of my problem are a consequence of OCD. I can't stop thinking about something, I can't stop doing something. If that's a positive thing it's not so bad, it can actually be a benefit. If it's a negative or inconsequential thing my life gets a lot worse.

I take meds to deal with the worst but I also practice "living in the moment" or just "being." It's not a formal meditation of any kind, just a focus on where I am, not where I'm going, or where I've been. Here I am, breathing, alive. That's a pretty good place to be.

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Response to olddots (Original post)

Sat Apr 27, 2013, 06:40 PM

3. the internet going out was a sign

 

what kind of sign and from where or who -I don't know but its like comic timing .

ranting has saved many lives and pissed off many people in range of the rants but sometimes it's all we got.

My mantra of " you don't want to die , you want to start living " has served me well for 50 years
what scares me is that it will be outshouted someday .

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Response to olddots (Reply #3)

Sat Apr 27, 2013, 10:31 PM

4. "start living" has it's own kind of pressure. At my worst, I just "be."

Hey, hey, hey don't be mean. We don't have to be mean. 'Cause, remember: no matter where you go... there you are. -- Buckaroo Banzai.

Most especially, don't be mean to yourself.

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Response to olddots (Original post)

Sat Apr 27, 2013, 11:54 PM

5. That must have felt bad. Ranting helps. nt.

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Response to olddots (Original post)

Sun Apr 28, 2013, 02:54 AM

6. Buckaroo Banzai needed to become a franchise with atleast 6 more epesodes

 

That film actually cheers me up every time I see it . what a cast what a concept =about 40 years ahead of it's time


long live Billy & the Beaters along with everyone involved with that film.

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