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In reply to the discussion: CNN: Mohammed Morsi (Muslim Brotherhood) declared Egyptian Presidential winner [View all]MADem
(135,425 posts)139. Her mother has my deepest sympathies. You just can't tell 'em when they Know It All.
All you can do is worry. I would be very concerned--that sounds like a Babe in the Woods scenario, unless she is in a dorm and has a fairly early curfew and a requirement that she not go out alone!
That poor dear child's life to this point sounds like the first twenty minutes of one of those dire LIFETIME movies one sees on TV!!
It's unfortunate that she apparently has the language down, has adopted the faith, but has yet to understand the conservative end of the culture. What she needs is a WOMAN from the conservative side to sit her down and explain the realities to her. The men do not feel that they owe "explanations" to women. They are very -- well, sexist is too mild a word. They are bigoted. That joke that the women come after the camels and sheep isn't really a joke, though it isn't terribly funny.
Despite the "four wives" stuff you hear so often, this is more commonly a province of the wealthy, because if you take a wife, you have to support her. Also, divorce is as easy to get as a chocolate bar. Additionally, these marriages are very often arranged, because the attitude is that the family does not want the bloodline "diluted" by an unsavory family, they want to keep the money in the family (which results in a lot of cousin alliances), and they sure as hell aren't going to trust an infidel, even one that has converted.
Further, there are accomodations for "temporary marrigages" (certainly avoids the stink of prostitution, but in essence this is payment made for value received in a short-term relationship...rather like renting a car. There is no "equivalent" for women, though--it's a male-driven transaction). Most importantly, if the guy is going to sleep with the young lady, he's NOT going to marry her. She's "for fun" not for the family.
And what of the hapless wife sitting in Saudi Arabia? She's resigned to her life as it is, even if she knew that her husband was fooling around. If her husband is a very good provider she has status amongst her friends and they will envy her, no matter how many liaisons the husband has. The attitude is "So long as he comes home, free of disease, and the money to run the household continues to roll in, I really could give a crap, " pretty much. Even if there is a 2nd or 3rd wife in the picture, often the attitude is "Good--let her put up with him," (the "attentive husband" paradigm isn't a feature of the society, to be blunt--the women do all the heavy lifting in terms of care and feeding of a great big adult baby, essentially, sometimes his Very Critical mother who will rat out the wife if she believes she's doing something that will cause disgrace to the family name, all of the children, and the household management, even while being constrained from decision-making) and the junior spouses can have "fun" (NB--ironic quotes for the irony-impaired who might be reading this conversation) taking care of the laundry, cooking his dinner and what-not. Despite Osama's living arrangements, very often multiple wives do not live together--it's more like Big Love (with more distance between the houses) than Osama's Pakistani Hideaway.
Egyptian men are much more modern, many of them, as are many Turks and urban Iranians and Iraqis (the young ones, anyway). There are other nations, too, that have large Muslim populations who don't play this kind of bullshit game, as well. However, this "worst case" conservative paradigm does exist, and it's not entirely "rare." It pops up at the oddest times, and in the oddest places, too-- even amongst supposedly "modern" and "liberated" men (when they don't get their way, for example).
If she's LUCKY, she'll meet a young, single man who is orphaned, smart, likes modern life and all things American/Western, who is able to make it on his own, who is being looked after by a dutiful, if financially strapped, uncle who has a half dozen sons already. Then they can marry and her new spouse can convince her to return to USA and live happily ever after in a Muslim community!
It would be terribly ironic if she met a Coptic of her dreams over in Egypt, after bothering to convert. That would be a bit problematic.
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CNN: Mohammed Morsi (Muslim Brotherhood) declared Egyptian Presidential winner [View all]
hlthe2b
Jun 2012
OP
There may still be hope for Egypt. The military was unable to stop the vote nor could they cheat.
nanabugg
Jun 2012
#84
That is the problem with a Draftee Army, it takes a professional army to do a proper coup
happyslug
Jun 2012
#111
When bushie started the 2 wars they talked about how this was going to result in a lot of ME states
jwirr
Jun 2012
#36
He was thinking that Nebraska is in the center of the USA. Protected on all sides. However given the
jwirr
Jun 2012
#105
There hasn't been any "barbarism" -- there has been an election, and that's what democracy is about.
The Stranger
Jun 2012
#135
Sure it is, but we get what we vote for. Now, it'll be hell trying to vote those fundamentallist
demosincebirth
Jun 2012
#49
Under sharia law in Iran, homosexual teens are hanged in town squares from drott cranes.
MADem
Jun 2012
#134
re: it is still a place, and places don't feel things. It's a place full of people
clang1
Jun 2012
#54
So true."Europe" is often used here as a stand-in for all that is good and worthy of emulation
entanglement
Jun 2012
#90
No it isn't. If they step over the line, there's a lot we can do about it. Our opinion is not
MADem
Jun 2012
#91
Yeah the civil war implications are concerning. Very worrisome for women, glbts, Copts
riderinthestorm
Jun 2012
#59
There's gonna be a whole lot of "Those People don't *deserve* democracy" around here for awhile.. nt
Posteritatis
Jun 2012
#18
The biggest option that he has is to close the American WALLET. We give them a fortune every year.
MADem
Jun 2012
#93
Oddly enough there's a whole continuum of Muslims, of which the Taliban are just one extreme. (nt)
Posteritatis
Jun 2012
#32
Probably best to just assume that the religious fundamentalists taking charge will be a *good*
4th law of robotics
Jun 2012
#107
I grab dinner on my way home from this pizza place, the owner and his wife are from Alexandria.
crimson77
Jun 2012
#81
He just did it highlevel is how I interpreted it (thought it was rough reading that post)
clang1
Jun 2012
#83
Whether you were a Shafik supporter or Morsi supporter, in the end, the real winner is the military.
AJTheMan
Jun 2012
#78
If you do not understand the history and culture, you do not understand the people.
MADem
Jun 2012
#96
It is as relevant as the work of our founding fathers is to our national character.
MADem
Jun 2012
#100
Her mother has my deepest sympathies. You just can't tell 'em when they Know It All.
MADem
Jun 2012
#139
You don't have to be an Islamophobe to fear something called the "Muslim Brotherhood"
KamaAina
Jun 2012
#114
How many people here would complain if there were? I seriously wonder that myself n/t
clang1
Jun 2012
#126
If it were a Christian nation and an overtly Christian organization took control
4th law of robotics
Jun 2012
#115
That's quite a turnaround from Morsi's statement that the Coptic Christians should either
totodeinhere
Jun 2012
#131