With the exception of the Bible, Sean Spicer's book

Is the best-selling book of all time, eclipsing Don Quixote and The Tale of Two Cities in the first week published. It is estimated that the Chinese have purchased 300 million copies alone and the figures for North Korea, while unknown as to the exact number, measure in the tens of millions. Several freighters were seen carrying many containers of the books to Turkey and Saudi Arabia wherein the population is required to read, study, and then pass a test on the contents with a grade no less than 80% or their eyes will be put out. Printing presses would be running at full-bore in almost every major metropolitan center. Kindle sales have caused a major clog in the Internet and financial institutions are having difficulties transmitting the purchase data including receipts to the buyers. It is estimated that 110% of the world’s population will have read the book by the end of the first week of publication. Pre-publication numbers of the sequel demonstrate a similar trend and it is considered that the author will accumulate wealth greater than that of Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos combined. Pressure is mounting for the author to assume the role of Absolute Ruler of the Earth. Given the trend lines, this is a virtual certainty. Period.