History of Feminism

KitSileya

(4,035 posts)

33. Thank you for sharing this.

Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:43 PM

Jan 2015

I didn't reply when you first posted this simply because I didn't have the spoons to do so - it is such a familiar story, and a triggering one at that. It is surprisingly difficult not to start questioning your own perception of reality - "Did he really say that? Did he mean it seriously? Surely he must have been joking, guys aren't that crude, are they?" You almost start gaslighting yourself because society tells you that this doesn't happen to good girls (and certainly not to boys!) You tell yourself that there must have been something that told him he could say that to you, something wrong with you, because society tells us that guys just don't do this - except they do. Guys are told they need to be on the offensive, that they need to hit on their prey (and yes, the language is violent for a purpose.)

I do hope you find healing and that this will not negatively impact your life. Take care of yourself.

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I was sexually harassed for the first time today. Thoughts that have been running through my head. [View all] F4lconF16 Dec 2014 OP

Glad you are alright. It does shake you. nt Mnemosyne Dec 2014 #1

Thank you. nt F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #8

I quit a job once due to sexual harasment that included touching my butt. Vattel Dec 2014 #2

I'm glad the bosses I have at my two jobs would very much F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #9

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2014 #22

take heart. those people are pathetic. I have gone through brutal harassment in my roguevalley Dec 2014 #3

I almost felt pity for him. F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #10

Now you know what women feel like vlyons Dec 2014 #4

Yes, I am doing well now. F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #11

I don't know if you carry a cell phone but you avebury Dec 2014 #5

That's a good idea, and one I actually just did recently. F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #12

Also set it up to that anything that is recorded is avebury Dec 2014 #16

I understand. I'm sure a lot of us M&F have been hassled when we most don't want to deal .. BlueJazz Dec 2014 #6

Thanks :) F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #13

I'm sorry this happened to you. It was good of you to come here and make these points, also. n/t spooky3 Dec 2014 #7

Thankfully it was not worse. F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #14

That's fucked up ismnotwasm Dec 2014 #15

Thank you for sharing, I have no doubt many here can relate..glad your okay AuntPatsy Dec 2014 #17

Bless you for this wryter2000 Dec 2014 #18

Post removed Post removed Jan 2015 #24

Oh, I wish that was possible KitSileya Jan 2015 #25

In this case, it sounded like the harasser was a stranger, or at best, an acquaintance whathehell Jan 2015 #26

I don't know what it would be like for a man, KitSileya Jan 2015 #32

So you are believe whathehell Jan 2015 #34

Heck no! I am so anti-gun it's not even funny. KitSileya Jan 2015 #35

Maybe if he wasn't wearing that awesome jacket... chervilant Jan 2015 #27

You need to drop the snark -- It's quite misguided. whathehell Jan 2015 #31

I stand by my assertion chervilant Jan 2015 #36

I never challenged your assertion and you know it. whathehell Jan 2015 #38

... chervilant Jan 2015 #40

This message was self-deleted by its author JTFrog Jan 2015 #39

Did you call the cops? termroffor Dec 2014 #19

rollin eyes. you guys really are very boring and tedious. seabeyond Dec 2014 #20

This message was self-deleted by its author chrisa Dec 2014 #23

And, predictable... n/t chervilant Jan 2015 #28

f4, a very illuminating retelling of your experience. seabeyond Dec 2014 #21

Thank you. F4lconF16 Jan 2015 #44

The fear and guilt can be a lifetime "sentence" chervilant Jan 2015 #29

What do you mean by "focusing on the courage inherent in surviving is helpful"? F4lconF16 Jan 2015 #41

I will give you a personal example first: chervilant Jan 2015 #45

Thank you for writing this. It's very painful to realize that, to some other Nay Jan 2015 #30

I'll go take a look at it. F4lconF16 Jan 2015 #42

Thank you for sharing this. KitSileya Jan 2015 #33

+ a gazillion chervilant Jan 2015 #37

You and someone else have both said something I very much agree with. F4lconF16 Jan 2015 #43

I am glad that you feel much better. KitSileya Jan 2015 #46