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CrispyQ

(36,461 posts)
8. Some disturbing articles there.
Sat Apr 27, 2013, 03:26 PM
Apr 2013

Three year olds worried about their weight? Mother of an 8-year old letting her get a Botox injection? I especially liked this article:

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/01/rape-and-violence-against-women-crisis

snip...

The Chasm Between Our Worlds

Rape and other acts of violence, up to and including murder, as well as threats of violence, constitute the barrage some men lay down as they attempt to control some women, and fear of that violence limits most women in ways they've gotten so used to they hardly notice—and we hardly address. There are exceptions: last summer someone wrote to me to describe a college class in which the students were asked what they do to stay safe from rape. The young women described the intricate ways they stayed alert, limited their access to the world, took precautions, and essentially thought about rape all the time (while the young men in the class, he added, gaped in astonishment). The chasm between their worlds had briefly and suddenly become visible.

Mostly, however, we don't talk about it—though a graphic has been circulating on the Internet called Ten Top Tips to End Rape, the kind of thing young women get often enough, but this one had a subversive twist. It offered advice like this: "Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone ‘by accident' you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can call for help." While funny, the piece points out something terrible: the usual guidelines in such situations put the full burden of prevention on potential victims, treating the violence as a given. You explain to me why colleges spend more time telling women how to survive predators than telling the other half of their students not to be predators.

more...

Of course, women are capable of all sorts of major unpleasantness, and there are violent crimes by women, but the so-called war of the sexes is extraordinarily lopsided when it comes to actual violence. Unlike the last (male) head of the International Monetary Fund, the current (female) head is not going to assault an employee at a luxury hotel; top-ranking female officers in the US military, unlike their male counterparts, are not accused of any sexual assaults; and young female athletes, unlike those male football players in Steubenville, aren't likely to urinate on unconscious boys, let alone violate them and boast about it in YouTube videos and Twitter feeds.

No female bus riders in India have ganged up to sexually assault a man so badly he dies of his injuries, nor are marauding packs of women terrorizing men in Cairo's Tahrir Square, and there's just no maternal equivalent to the 11% of rapes that are by fathers or stepfathers. Of the people in prison in the US, 93.5% are not women, and though quite a lot of them should not be there in the first place, maybe some of them should because of violence, until we think of a better way to deal with it, and them.



"treating the violence as a given"
step one one: quit using makeup nt msongs Apr 2013 #1
Teaching individual women how to stop self-objectifying is great. It's necessary. redqueen Apr 2013 #3
That's an interesting observation.... Sekhmets Daughter Apr 2013 #4
Yes, women internalize these rules. redqueen Apr 2013 #5
Sadly, too true. Sekhmets Daughter Apr 2013 #7
Also I just have to add that you reminded me of this particular part of a video... redqueen Apr 2013 #6
I wish they would stop wearing ridiculous shoes Skittles Apr 2013 #9
The shoes thing totally stumps me MadrasT Apr 2013 #11
sorry, I don't laugh: it makes me CRINGE Skittles Apr 2013 #13
You're really quite worked up about shoes aren't you? redqueen Apr 2013 #14
YES Skittles Apr 2013 #16
Step Two: Stop comparing yourself to anyone else. Sekhmets Daughter Apr 2013 #2
Some disturbing articles there. CrispyQ Apr 2013 #8
As she said, we hardly address it... hell, most hardly notice it. redqueen Apr 2013 #10
Awesome MadrasT Apr 2013 #12
Soraya Chemaly is fantastic. redqueen Apr 2013 #15
A young women in nursing school was showing me the Dove "you're more beautiful than you think" ismnotwasm Apr 2013 #17
attractive girls and women had better get a handle on it. in ways i think it is harder being seabeyond Apr 2013 #18
I could write a book on the difference between being slender & fat. CrispyQ Apr 2013 #21
Yes, many men look good in eyeliner. redqueen Apr 2013 #19
I've always wondered why men accept the restrictions of what's considered 'professional' wear. CrispyQ Apr 2013 #20
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