African American
In reply to the discussion: Why is discussing race on DU considered race-baiting? [View all]brer cat
(24,578 posts)a matter of making white people uncomfortable. My experience is that too many whites want to control the conversation as well as define the terms. It is part of the white superiority that they deny ownership of, but there it is.
Slightly ot, but one of my pet peeves are the whites who absolutely MUST jump into any conversation regarding racism to express their "solutions" to the issue. I am adding a link here to an older but very good article about the Do's and Don't of Being an Ally. http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/10/01/the-dos-and-donts-of-being-a-good-ally/
A few of the points:
3. Dont expect your feelings to be a priority in a discussion about X issue. Oftentimes people get off onto the tone argument because their feelings are hurt by the way a message was delivered. If you stand on someones foot and they tell you to get off? The correct response is not Ask nicely when you were in the wrong in the first place.
4. Do shut up and listen. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of listening to the people actually living X experience. There is nothing more obnoxious than someone (however well intentioned) coming into the spaces of a marginalized group and insisting that they absolutely have the solution even though theyve never had X experience. You can certainly make suggestions, but dont be surprised if those ideas arent well received because youve got the wrong end of the stick somewhere.
7. Dont expect a pass into safe spaces because you call yourself an ally. Youre not entitled to access as a result of not being an asshole. Sometimes it just isnt going to be about you or what you think you should happen. Your privilege didnt fall away when you became an ally, and there are intra-community conversations that need to take place away from the gaze of the privileged.