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In reply to the discussion: EXCLUSIVE: Parents of underage victim in Kate Hunt's case defend actions [View all]laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)infantilizing to me means how we don't give teens responsibilities they used to have at those ages. For instance, 2 generations ago, teen girls were expected to be 100% responsible for siblings and a good portion of housework, cooking and they were expected to know their lessons, and behave like an adult. Teen boys were expected to contribute to the family income by helping out on the farm, or family business - whether or not the family at that night was on them, as well. Even when I was a teen, every teen I knew was expected to have a part time job, get their license at 16 and either work or go to university at 18.
When my aunts were younger, they went off to boarding school at 16 (well, not 'boarding school' but public school in another town, and they had to board, because there was no high school in their town) and were expected to 'earn their keep' while they boarded. Other than that, they were responsible for their own conduct in public, and their own curfews. And my aunts also held down part time jobs, or odd jobs at the same time.
In my daughter's peer group, she's the only one who has a job (and she JUST got one - about 3 years later than I started working). My daughter is nearly 16. Only 1 of her friends has their license (including her older friends) - everyone's parents chauffeur them everywhere. Hardly any of them have any responsibilities - I've talked with other parents who refuse to have their older teen babysit younger siblings because, "It wasn't their choice to have them." True enough, but it teaches responsibility, and selflessness and empathy. Most parents I've talked to are paying for all of post secondary, while their kids live at home, many are buying their kids cars so they can get to university (we are in a suburb) and no one is expecting their kids to work while they get their education. That was simply unheard of when I was a teen for all but the most spoiled teens (same town too). We all had to buy our own cars, we all worked our asses off in university while having a job. Most of us were expected to have a plan to move out as soon as we graduated.
There is a lot of 'helicopter' parenting too.
I have to go be a chauffeur right now, but even in just 1 generation there is a huge trend towards treating 16 year olds like grade schoolers. That's what I mean by infantilizing. Teens who are treated like children will inevitably act like children when faced with the very adult biology of their own bodies. JMO.