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Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots [View all]
Last edited Mon Apr 16, 2018, 04:26 PM - Edit history (2)
Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist who publishes Infowars, claims that he never knowingly spreads false information. Last night, he told listeners that when he was a teenager he used to be courted by attractive women who attempted to convert him to Satanism and prevent him from starting Infowars.
During Infowars’ latest ongoing “emergency” live-stream marathon session, Jones claimed that attractive young women at his high school would pretend to want to date him in order to try to convince him to join a satanic cult. Jones claimed this happened multiple times.
“Every time I thought some hot 17-year-old, when I was like 13 or 14, really wanted to date me and I’d drive out to some big old mansion of theirs—and I mean real mansions, helicopter pads, private landing fields, you name it—God almighty, after the third or fourth time I had been with them, they’d tell me, ‘By the way, we worship this god and we want you to come to this event, we want you to engage in this activity because Lucifer is really God,’” Jones said.
He added, “They knew inter-dimensionally because believe me, they weren’t trying to get the average person to go do that. Everybody thought like, ‘Why are you dating the head cheerleader or the head senior when you’re a freshman in high school?’ Well, because she was driving me out there in her $100,000 Mercedes and that was 30-something years ago, driving me out there in her $100,000 Mercedes that’d be a $300,000 Maybach today, to try to get me into the cult.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-claims-attractive-women-tried-to-date-him-in-high-school-to-convert-him-to-satanism/
During Infowars’ latest ongoing “emergency” live-stream marathon session, Jones claimed that attractive young women at his high school would pretend to want to date him in order to try to convince him to join a satanic cult. Jones claimed this happened multiple times.
“Every time I thought some hot 17-year-old, when I was like 13 or 14, really wanted to date me and I’d drive out to some big old mansion of theirs—and I mean real mansions, helicopter pads, private landing fields, you name it—God almighty, after the third or fourth time I had been with them, they’d tell me, ‘By the way, we worship this god and we want you to come to this event, we want you to engage in this activity because Lucifer is really God,’” Jones said.
He added, “They knew inter-dimensionally because believe me, they weren’t trying to get the average person to go do that. Everybody thought like, ‘Why are you dating the head cheerleader or the head senior when you’re a freshman in high school?’ Well, because she was driving me out there in her $100,000 Mercedes and that was 30-something years ago, driving me out there in her $100,000 Mercedes that’d be a $300,000 Maybach today, to try to get me into the cult.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-claims-attractive-women-tried-to-date-him-in-high-school-to-convert-him-to-satanism/
Dude, Alex, what brand of covfefe are you smoking this week? Because it must be too much, or not enough, I don't know how that shit works!
*audience laughs and applauds*
This week on the Top 10 - Trump orders a strike on Syria, Stormy Daniels orders a strike on Mar-A-Lago, Congress orders a strike on Mark Zuckerberg, Michael Cohen gets investigated by the feds, and the Diet Reduced Calorie Alt Lite is smoking some good Covfefe. Plus we're going to have a new installment of "This Fucking Guy" and we're going to profile the owner of the Coachella Valley Music & Arts festival - right wing billionaire Phil Anschutz. Did you know he funds a lot of anti-LGBT and anti-marijuana causes? You bet! Plus in a new installment of "Top 10 Investigates" we're going to take a look at the budget airline industry. You really get what you pay for, and it shows. And in our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit, our resident pastor is going to search for proof that demons exist. Plus we've got a new installment of "I Need A Drink" where we'll get drunk and talk about the reigning king of Donkey Kong getting stripped of his title. And we're into the conference championships in our Stupidest State contest! This time we're live in the Bay Area at the home of the San Jose Sharks, HP Pavilion, and it's a shoot out between Florida and Montana for the Gun Nut Conference Championship! Plus we've got a live performance for you from punk rock's original kings of comedy, NOFX!
Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wednesdays at 2:00 PM. /shameless self promotion
