Wolf Frankula
Wolf Frankula's JournalAre these quotes genuine?
I've been using some for years, but now I suspect they are not. Some are political, some not.
George H. W. Bush on Pat Robertson. "Yes Jesus told him to run for President, but Jesus forgot to tell anybody to vote for him."
Ronald Reagan on making movies. "Never make a movie with an animal. If it's a hit, the animal gets the credit. If it's a flop, you get the blame."
Richard Nixon on Ronald Reagan running for Governor. "The only reason they're running Reagan is they couldn't get the monkey."
Ben Stein on Richard Nixon. "He's guilty as hell."
Wolf
Three Nevers
1: Never eat in any restaurant where the words 'ALL LOTTERY GAMES' are in bigger print than the type of food served.
2: Never buy anything advertised on the radio where the fast talk goes on longer than the slow talk.
3: Never trust anybody who repeatedly breaks his/her promises to a kid. They'll cheat you if they can.
Wolf
Does anybody else remember these classic commercial lines?
"If you think it's butter, but it's snot, it's Chiffon."
"Hot Kids, Armour Hot Kids, The Kids Dogs Love to Bite."
"Half the fun of being goosed is Red Feet Shoes."
"P-i-m-p-l-e-s, Nestle makes the very best, Acne."
Wolf
Naughty Little Suckathumb
The long red legged scissor man
Ah, said Mom, I'd knew he'd come,
To Naughty Little Suckathumb..
The Long Red Legged Scissor Man ran into Suckathumb's bedroom. There he saw Naughty Little Suckathumb lying on his bed with Rags the Dog.
"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip Snip went the scissors.
The Long Red Legged Scissor Man waved the scissors. Naughty Little Suckathumb reached beside his bed and replied.
"This is an AK-47 select fire riffle firing a 7.62x39 full metal jacketed round from a 30 round magazine. I have locked and loaded."
"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip, Snip!' went the scissors.
"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip, Snip!' went the scissors.
'Brrrrp' went the AK-47 blowing the Long Red Legged Scissor Man Base over apex. Then Suckathumb leaped up from the bed, took his K-bar and cut off the Long Red Legged Scissor Man's left ear, to verify the kill. Then he and Rags the Dog dragged the carcass to the sitting room. Naughty Little Suckathumb said.
"Here's the last shithead who criticized my habits. Does anybody else have an objection?"
He scratched Rags the Dog, sucked his thumb and went back to his bedroom.
Wolf
Greatest FU Songs of All Time
What are the greatest Fuck You songs of all time. Here is No. 1. "This Song" by George Harrison
No. 2 Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan
What are yours?
Wolf
I"ve Had a Cough for a Week
I hate it. It makes me sound like Bill the Cat. Ack! OOP!
Maybe I'll run for President.
Wolf
Questions about Bernie
I like most of what I have heard about Sanders. I agree with a lot of his positions. But I have three questions about the man. 1: Is he tough enough to win. Does he understand that politics is war without the shooting? 2: Does he understand that government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force. 3: If elected as a Democrat, will he govern as a Democrat. Or will he attempt to 'reach across the aisle,' 'form a bipartisan consensus' or other such caving in?
Wolf
If This Is True, Foodie Trendiness Can Go No Further
I have heard that a trendy restaurant in London sells Deconstructed Water. For the equivalent of five dollars, the restaurant serves you an empty glass, with an affidavit that the glass contains hydrogen and oxygen.
Wolf
Some Minor Crotchets about Beer
Oneth, this is NOT about how beer was better in the 'Good Old Days', it wasn't. It's better now. But I have a few minor complaints.
A: Every IPA does not have to be a hop bomb. It seems brewers are trying to make the hoppiest beers possible. Somebody brews a 100 IBU beer, and somebody else HAS to top that. The original IPAs were hoppy, but not the bombs we see now.
B: There are other brewing traditions beside the Belgian. Again, it seems almost every brewer is making sours, abbeys, dubbels, tripels, quadrupels, fruit beers, saisons and so on. Actually a reaction seems to have begun against this. One local brewery is brewing Scottish ales, another specializes in German beers and so on.
C: Stop just showing off. You make bad beers. One brewer, New Belgium I think it was, had a cooperative beer where it seemed one brewer wanted to make a saison, one wanted to make a fruit beer and one wanted to make a sour. They ended up making a mess.
D: Respect the style. Pilsener does not have rice in it. You don't barrel age Helles. Dark rye fruit kolsch (the brewer stopped making it) was an abomination.
Wolf
There Will be a Third Season of Broadchurch w/a Not Spoiler
And David Tennant will be back.
And this is the not spoiler. Sharon Bishop has to leave the case because of a family emergency. She is replaced by an elderly fattish man, with thinning hair. He wears a somewhat yellowed horsehair peruke, and has a trace of cigar ash on his waistcoat. Before he can introduce himself Counsel for the Prosecution says, "In the view of developments, the Crown does not feel that justice would be served by the continuation of this trial. We request dismissal of all charges."
"The defense has no objection," the new defense barrister says as he rises and bows. "Then may my client be discharged?"
"Yes, Mister Rumpole," the judge says.
This does not happen.
Wolf
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