'You're A Piece Of Shit And I Hope Everyone Like You Dies,' Says Biden To Democratic Voter

[IronLionZion]

‘You’re A Piece Of Shit And I Hope Everyone Like You Dies,’ Says Biden To Democratic Voter In Stirring Call For Party Unity

https://politics.theonion.com/you-re-a-piece-of-shit-and-i-hope-everyone-like-you-di-1841363666



OTTUMWA, IA—As part of his effort to reinvigorate the coalition that once put Barack Obama in the White House, presidential candidate Joe Biden issued a moving plea for party unity when he told a Democratic voter “You’re a piece of shit and I hope everyone like you dies,” reports confirmed Thursday. “Look here, pal, fuck you and fuck anybody who thinks like you,” the former vice president said to a town hall participant in what political experts have hailed as a rousing call for Democrats, independents, and even moderate Republicans to join together in harmony and overcome the divisiveness and rancor that have characterized the Trump era. “If that’s what you believe, you’re clearly an idiot, and I don’t need your vote. Seriously, you and every single person in this fucking town deserves to die. Now back the hell up before I tear your throat out with my goddamn teeth.” After the event, a screaming, red-faced Biden reportedly continued to share his inspiring vision by informing a group of unwitting Iowans that he could beat their asses with one hand tied behind his back.

Damn it Biden strikes again!

SATIRE, IT'S THE ONION

[CousinIT]

1. THE ONION, FYI - before anyone alerts on this. n/t

[jberryhill]

4. Too late

[Kali]

12. Yep

Humor on gd - primaries? Is that possible?

[IronLionZion]

15. It wakes people up in the morning

and outs the individuals with no joy in their lives

[Bradshaw3]

38. Well done!

And too true.

[lapucelle]

30. The Onion

Link to tweet

[Jarqui]

2. Didn't amuse me. nt

[Autumn]

3. A sense of humor is sadly lacking in some. It's the Onion. Satire

[lapucelle]

28. ...

Link to tweet

[Autumn]

45. Sorry to harsh your mellow but that was funny too.

[redqueen]

50. It is!

I liked this one too!

Link to tweet

[Iggo]

63. Lol...I missed that one. Thanks!

[Autumn]

71. OMG I love that, too funny . I really like that guy and you know, he would do that. .

[IronLionZion]

5. Come on Bidenists, you know the Onion is satire

[beastie boy]

7. So is Jacobin, if not intentionally. But how many people know about that?

If I were ever to quote from a satirical source, I would identify it as such.

[IronLionZion]

16. Poe's Law applies on DU a few too many times

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law

Poe's law is an adage of Internet culture stating that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of the views being parodied.

[lapucelle]

31. Ah, The Onion

Link to tweet

[lapucelle]

27. ...

Link to tweet

[Polly Hennessey]

6. Good grief!

Joe would not talk to a voter in that manner. Sounds more like tRump. Almost got me. Lordy, Lordy!!

[WhiskeyGrinder]

8. I lol'd.

[lapucelle]

32. This ones funnier

Link to tweet

[Bradshaw3]

39. Is that why you felt the need to post it four times?

[LanternWaste]

9. This is funny, and accurately satirizes the 'I'm-so-concerned & this-looks-bad' brigade.

I'd never seen so much manufactured hand-wringing simply because someone pointed at someone else. Until of course, the Concern Brigade lectured to us how bad it looks. Bless their little hearts.

Fingers crossed no more heart-attacks suffered by any candidates!!!

[lapucelle]

33. Has the concerned brigade seen this one yet?

Link to tweet

[Bradshaw3]

40. Ok, so it's five times

Lighten up, sheesh.

[Hoyt]

10. Thought this was funny when yesterday, but don't think Thread Title is appropriate without Onion

reference. Not an alerter.

This was posted yesterday, but Onion was thread title.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1287&pid=458598

[Iggo]

22. It's satire.

Satire that identifies itself as satire isn’t really satire.

The thing I like about satire is what it does best: Makes people who are the most clenched self-identify. That’s what satire does. That’s why I love it.

[lapucelle]

34. So true about satire

Link to tweet

[Iggo]

55. Oh my god, that's hilarious!

[Hoyt]

48. I get what it is. I also get it shouldn't appear as a headline for those who just read/see the

headlines and not the source or body of the message.

[Iggo]

56. There is no way any thinking person believes he actually said that.

No way.

[Hoyt]

64. LMAO. Oh, yeah some do. The actual event was posted here numerous times to taint Biden.

[Iggo]

65. Oh no they don't. You're not gonna win this one...lol.

EVERYBODY who thought about it for two seconds knew immediately it was a joke, ESPECIALLY the people who know about the other story.

[PatSeg]

11. Oh my god

You freaked me out for a second there! I was half asleep when I started to read it! I'm awake now.

[IronLionZion]

13. The Onion is better than coffee

[PatSeg]

17. Yeah

Well, I think I'd prefer coffee the first thing in the morning though! Life is such a roller coaster ride these days.

[lapucelle]

35. Indeed it is

Link to tweet

[IronLionZion]

36. only 5 times? Keep kicking this thread

[Bradshaw3]

41. So now it's seven

How embarrassing that you took a satirical post so seriously.

[lapucelle]

42. It's satire! No better way to start the day.

[IronLionZion]

43. It's an extra bonus that we're both Warren supporters

[Bradshaw3]

47. Not when you have to post it EIGHT times

Obviously it struck a nerve. See post 15.

[Autumn]

46. Eight times in one thread?

[Iggo]

70. S/he's gonna post it til it by god pisses someone off, goddamit.

So stop laughing and get mad!

oops, I mean

[Cirque du So-What]

14. I consider satire the most sophisticated form of humor

This just isn't doing it for me, however. Nice try, Onion.

[redstatebluegirl]

19. I wonder how you feel if it was about Amy???

[Cirque du So-What]

24. Still wouldn't work

Good satire should possess a modicum of believability. It didn't have that for Joe Biden, and it wouldn't be any more believable if it was about Amy Klobuchar.

[LakeArenal]

18. Never would not have believed it with or without the Onion attribution.

Joe would never say it.

[magicarpet]

20. A little fire in the belly,... go get em Joe.

(Shallots/garlic/cayenne pepper)

Just cinema/theatrics/hollywood...

[TCJ70]

21. This is hilarious...

...and Joe really should stop telling people to vote for someone else...

[treestar]

23. The people he said it to were trolls

who weren't going to vote for him anyway.

[snowybirdie]

26. Was this really necessary?

You won't win any votes for your candidate by hiding behind an Onion headline. Not cool.

[awesomerwb1]

29. Odds are very good

one of you-know-who's bros err supporters will publish this as real somewhere online.

[Ferrets are Cool]

37. If ANYONE gets upset over this satire, they deserve derision.

[Tiggeroshii]

44. Could've easily not been the onion

[awesomerwb1]

53. Bullshii

Not one of the candidates would ever say something remotely close to that.

I'm not sure who would win the "most fanatical" between MAGATs and Bernie bros. The extremes are not good.

[Tiggeroshii]

54. He challenged a guy to a fight, basically

So yeah. He would.

[awesomerwb1]

59. Sure bro

Because ”challenging someone to a fight” is the same as wishing death to a group of people. Brilliant!!

[Tiggeroshii]

60. It implies anger management issues, bro.

Which I don't think is necessarily an impediment for our would be nominee.

[JohnnyRingo]

49. Not The Onion's best work.

Not because it's targeted at Biden, that doesn't matter to me, but because it's just a mean spirited screed that could be used on any candidate. Not a lot of satirical imagination.

Posting that title here in the Primary Group instead of The Lounge or adding "The Onion:" in the title is akin to click bait.

[Iggo]

62. Akin, nothing. It absolutely is click-bait.

What makes it funny is there is no fucking way that it’s true. Nobody with two brain cells to rub together could possibly think it’s anything but satire. It’s completely absurd.

[mainstreetonce]

51. Not funny

I like,satire,but not this.This is dumb.

[Downtown Hound]

52. I'm a Biden supporter and I think this is hysterical.

[NurseJackie]

57. Good satire needs to be believable. This really isn't good satire.

Good satire needs to be believable. This really isn't good satire.

I can see how it was supposed to be funny (in a Mad-magazine in-your-face kind of way) but truthfully, it misses the mark as far as being actual satire.

[Backseat Driver]

58. Not reporting it; trashing it off my feed!

[OneMoreCupOfCoffee]

61. Or we could draft Mike Dukakis.

Think about it.

[tonedevil]

66. A funny article...

but not nearly as funny as the Biden supporters who don't think it's funny.

[Tiggeroshii]

67. .

[IronLionZion]

68. The priceless responses to this are exactly why it needed to be posted

Tensions are high 3 days before Iowa. Maybe DUers will spit hate-orade all over the superb owl and groundhog this weekend too?

[NurseJackie]

69. It's a great quote and I can definitely think of one politician I'd like to say that to!

[ecstatic]

72. I don't get it.

[aikoaiko]

73. the essence of Joe captured in satire