End of Life Issues
Related: About this forumShe is gone.
My beloved soulmate, Kathleen Farago May, died today. She was 65 years old, and had been suffering from ovarian cancer for the last five months. In the end the suffering proved too much to bear, especially given that there was no chance of recovery.
Her transition happened as she had wished - peacefully at home, without pain, with serenity, awareness and deep curiosity.
The world will miss Kathy's wisdom, insight, love, humour and her overflowing creativity.
Her spirit will live on in the memories and hearts of all who knew her, as well as in the thousands of sublime works of art she created during her lifetime. Her soul has become an integral part of the world and the deeper Mystery, as it has always been.
Kathleen, we who love you honour your life, and wish you a safe, joyous and transcendent journey.
Kathy was born on May 24, 1952 in Budapest Hungary. She escaped into Austria with her parents in the final wave of refugees in 1956 by walking out across snow-covered marshes, one of the youngest children to take that route. She came as a refugee to Montreal, where she spent the next 16 years. She then spent 11 years in London Ontario where we first met in 1972, 13 years in Rochester New York, and 14 years in Los Angeles, where we were finally re-united. She spent her last seven years in Ottawa, making art full time.
She realized she was an artist at the age of five. She was especially prolific during the last decade, thanks to her embrace of digital art and fractals. She has left us an enormous body of work, literally thousands of digital paintings. Her images have caused many of her fans to say that they feel they are looking at the structure of reality itself, or perhaps getting a glimpse into their own souls. Spending time with Kathleen's work is a transcendent experience. I will always treasure the memory of watching her at work, as her Muses channeled the inspiration that flowed from her hands onto the computer screen.
Bodhi Paul Chefurka
Kathleen has asked me to share this last message with the world.
I have decided to take my leave, based on the current state of my body and quality of life. I regret only that I dont have the energy left to say an individual goodbye to each of you. I celebrate that you have each been in my life and my heart! Your friendship and love have been a pillar of strength in my life and they are treasures that I will carry with me into the mystery that awaits. Please know that the brevity of this note only reflects my waning energy, not any absence of depth of emotion and appreciation. I am deeply grateful for your presence in my life and hope that you can feel how much you each have meant to me. Thank you for all that you have done and been to me I will see you on the other side, or perhaps even before!
Kathleen Farago May
Chasstev365
(5,191 posts)LisaM
(27,843 posts)But, I am very sorry for your loss.
Autumn
(45,120 posts)Peace.
ret5hd
(20,534 posts)Maybe you could share that with us.
The Wielding Truth
(11,415 posts)raven mad
(4,940 posts)calimary
(81,527 posts)Those images are utterly hypnotic. They just suck you right in. Each one could be an all-day meditation.
Much love and solace to you, The_jackalope. Thank you so much for sharing her story, and telling us about her art. Her name and her work will live on, and will continue to inspire wonder.
xxqqqzme
(14,887 posts)Thank you for sharing.
Sorry to learn of your loss.
dhill926
(16,373 posts)sounds like you guys got it right. Sorry for your loss...
Phoenix61
(17,021 posts)It sounds like her passing was peaceful and on her own terms.
LyndaG
(683 posts)She sounded like a wonderful person.
Ilsa
(61,707 posts)Her farewell was beautifully written. I can see that the world is a lesser place without her obvious presence.
catrose
(5,075 posts)It sounds like her memory will be a blessing to many.
catbyte
(34,485 posts)something of what you're feeling. What a lovely tribute to an extraordinary woman. Again, please accept my deepest condolences.
lunasun
(21,646 posts)both were grateful to be in a time and place that this was an option in an early post.
Take some comfort in knowing she was able to transition as she wished in peace on her own timeline.
Thank you for your inspiring message Kathleen.
onecaliberal
(32,931 posts)Squinch
(51,053 posts)I wish you peace. You have clearly had great love in your life.
shenmue
(38,506 posts)Docreed2003
(16,883 posts)Such a beautiful tribute to her legacy and spirit!
TygrBright
(20,773 posts)...to all who knew her, to all whose lives she touched, to all inspired by her story.
May comfort flow to you in your loss, and may the space of her physical absence be filled with the consolation of memory.
And may the beauty of her legacy live forever.
respectfully,
Bright
blueinredohio
(6,797 posts)BadgerMom
(2,771 posts)MrScorpio
(73,631 posts)godsentme
(72 posts)I've been reading your posts about your journey with Kathleen. I am touched beyond words. I rarely post comments but your beautiful tribute moved me to say Thank you for sharing. Peace to you and Peaceful passing to Kathleen.
Angry Dragon
(36,693 posts)handmade34
(22,758 posts)GeorgeGist
(25,324 posts)MLAA
(17,340 posts)CanonRay
(14,121 posts)But treasure the wonderful li you got to share.
Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)yardwork
(61,715 posts)pnwmom
(109,009 posts)Rest in Peace, Kathleen Farago May.
And The_jackalope, may you find some consolation in your memories of the years you had together.
barbtries
(28,815 posts)i hope when it's my time i will have so much courage, love and faith.
a tiny bit of advice from a bereaved mother: look for the signs. peace and comfort to you in your grief. PM me any time if you ever need to vent.
chillfactor
(7,584 posts)I am glad it was peaceful....keep her locked in your heart....she will always be there until you see her again.
Amaryllis
(9,526 posts)of you yesterday and hoping it was a very special last day for you with your beloved Kathleen.
denbot
(9,901 posts)Peace to you and yours.
JohnnyLib2
(11,212 posts)and what a wonderful spirit was displayed in her message.
May that spirit, and the good memories, sustain you.
montana_hazeleyes
(3,424 posts)I am glad you had such great love together. Her letter brought tears to my eyes. I could feel the special goodness in her.
Eko
(7,384 posts)Keep on keeponing. I found this after my dad passed, I still watch it and cry for happiness, maybe it will touch you like it touched me.
"The universe is in us"
Peace.
SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)benld74
(9,911 posts)mobeau69
(11,163 posts)Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.
The_REAL_Ecumenist
(729 posts)Blessing and peace to you and safe journey home to Kathleen....
Shanti Mama
(1,288 posts)I feel deeply blessed to be a witness of sorts to your lives and her death. May peace be with you.
onecent
(6,096 posts)TNNurse
(6,929 posts)because it replaces the pain they have suffered. We can do it for them.
JHan
(10,173 posts)Sorry for your loss.
ms liberty
(8,609 posts)OldManTarHeel
(435 posts)The loss of a life partner can be devastating . . Godspeed.
democrank
(11,112 posts)Rest In Peace, Kathleen Farago May.
a kennedy
(29,723 posts)To my loved ones:
I have decided to take my leave, based on the current state of my body and quality of life. I regret only that I dont have the energy left to say an individual goodbye to each of you. I celebrate that you have each been in my life and my heart! Your friendship and love have been a pillar of strength in my life and they are treasures that I will carry with me into the mystery that awaits. Please know that the brevity of this note only reflects my waning energy, not any absence of depth of emotion and appreciation. I am deeply grateful for your presence in my life and hope that you can feel how much you each have meant to me. Thank you for all that you have done and been to me I will see you on the other side, or perhaps even before!
Kathleen Farago May
world wide wally
(21,757 posts)volstork
(5,403 posts)snacker
(3,619 posts)Sorry for your loss. Your tribute to her is lovely, and her message to the world is beautiful.
broadcaster90210
(333 posts)nt
Lifelong Protester
(8,421 posts)No Vested Interest
(5,167 posts)CrispyQ
(36,540 posts)I loved this: She realized she was an artist at the age of five.
FakeNoose
(32,823 posts)It is the absolute worst! The cure for cancer is out there and we just aren't trying hard enough to find it.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry the world has lost Kathleen. Thanks for sharing her story with us.
Peace to you, Jackalope!
mountain grammy
(26,659 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss.
riversedge
(70,351 posts)dflprincess
(28,086 posts)Be kind to yourself in the following days and weeks.
cilla4progress
(24,783 posts)Peace to you now, Jackalope.
I'm sure you are comforted by the many memories and artworks, while missing your soulmate terribly.
Don't hesitate to share. ❤️
kimbutgar
(21,224 posts)She left this dimension knowing she was safe and loved. Take comfort brother.
sharedvalues
(6,916 posts)She sounds like a wonderful person. I hope you carry her fondly in your memory. It's so hard to have one phase of your life end when a loved one dies and find new peace and forge a new life going forward.
murielm99
(30,777 posts)But she sounds like a wonderful person, who went out the way she chose.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
riverbendviewgal
(4,254 posts)The world has lost a wonderful artist. Her works will live on. May you find comfort and peace,
EllieBC
(3,042 posts)may you know no more sorrow.
sinkingfeeling
(51,482 posts)to the Great Unknown. Her art and her spirit will always be with you.
I wish you peace.
Duppers
(28,127 posts)They convey such love and understanding.
You remember, she rests in the grace of the universe. We all are, were, and will always be stars made conscious.
May you continue in her love, peace, and knowledge.
progressoid
(50,000 posts)Pepsidog
(6,254 posts)Though I am new to DU it seems like some very thoughtful people participate. I am sorry this eloquent voice is now silent. RIP
WheelWalker
(8,956 posts)SonofDonald
(2,050 posts)She will live forever as part of the universe as will we all, she will always be with you.
My deepest condolences.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)central scrutinizer
(11,665 posts)And I still cry often. Like your loved one, she was a wonderful person. I don't want to "snap out of it." Somebody that special will leave a hole that can't be filled, that you don't want to fill. I will grieve as long as I breathe. I want to give you a hug and any support I can share.
3catwoman3
(24,072 posts)From you, The-jackalope, from your beloved Kathleen, and from DU members. I cannot think of anything to add that has not already been said, other than to say again how much I respect and admire the strength, grit, grace and determination you have both shown in this most challenging time.
Bettie
(16,132 posts)I can only imagine how hard it was to say good bye to your beloved.
SergeStorms
(19,204 posts)I can't imagine the feelings you're experiencing right now. Kathleen sounded like a very kind, gentle, loving soul, and I'm sorry I never met her. Her suffering is now over. I hope you're doing well, and thanks for letting your family at DU know.
For Kathleen Farago May
jmbar2
(4,910 posts)I checked out her artwork with the help of Google. It is magnificent.
It is said that you are not really gone until no one can remember that you existed. Today, your beloved Kathleen exists for many who never had the blessing to meet her.
My deepest condolences.
StevieM
(10,500 posts)Moral Compass
(1,527 posts)There is no way to make the pain go away. Indeed, it will surge into you later--unanticipated and uninvited--when some random thing triggers your memory.
But you describe a rich life and a parting from that life chosen rather than imposed.
I don't know you, but I've felt loss before and can sympathize and I offer my heartfelt condolences.
Bless you and bless her.
madaboutharry
(40,234 posts)and allowing us to know a little about her. She must have been inspiring to those around her. My warmest thoughts to those who loved her.
MontanaMama
(23,357 posts)on the loss of your beloved Kathleen. These are difficult days to be sure. Please be gentle with yourself. You have touched me by sharing your journey. Thank you dear jackalope. Safe home, Kathleen.
brer cat
(24,625 posts)A lovely tribute, Jackalope.
raven mad
(4,940 posts)jackalope, I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. We will always be here for you, always.
AllyCat
(16,236 posts)What a beautiful tribute you have written. Safe passage to Kathleen's incredible energy. May peace find you in your grief.
GP6971
(31,226 posts)I went through the exact same scenario 12 years ago. We all are honored and graced to know and love such a person.
Iggo
(47,578 posts)PatrickforO
(14,595 posts)the transition while we're left here.
But, man, her art! You know what my favorite is? The one of her hugging the tree, called Love of Life. Her memory will live on as long as this body of artwork inspires us.
AnotherDreamWeaver
(2,852 posts)dae
(3,396 posts)gopiscrap
(23,765 posts)you are in my thoughts and prayers what an amazing women!!!
herding cats
(19,568 posts)When it's my time I can only hope someone will memorialize me with such love and passion.
I send you peace and gentle thoughts tonight. May the winds between us carry them to your home and deliver them to your heart.
RestoreAmerica2020
(3,439 posts)Solly Mack
(90,792 posts)Lovely tribute.
KT2000
(20,593 posts)So sorry for your loss, peace to you.
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)which says volumes about you also, and how courageously you faced such a hard, and loving, decision.
DarthDem
(5,257 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss. She was clearly a fantastic, beloved person. Your words and hers are deeply moving. Best wishes.
The Wielding Truth
(11,415 posts)You were blessed.
ATL Ebony
(1,097 posts)R.I.P. Ms Kathleen Farago May.
tavernier
(12,410 posts)Danmel
(4,932 posts)Wishing you strength and peace.
peacebuzzard
(5,183 posts)For the loss of Kathleen.
Words are hard to find.
lostnfound
(16,193 posts)Rest In Peace to your beautiful soulmate.
We feel great pain with great loss, which is a sign that we were truly blessed, and our hearts make a giant hole, to make room for keeping our loved one whole and giving them the space to keep living.
deek
(3,414 posts).
Gothmog
(145,667 posts)marked50
(1,371 posts)lunatica
(53,410 posts)It swells my chest with emotion. You were blessed, but you already know this. I think you will feel her presence always.
I hope my passing will be as dignified.
GoneOffShore
(17,342 posts)NewJeffCT
(56,829 posts)you have my condolences.
Initech
(100,108 posts)Denis 11
(280 posts)Very sorry for your loss.
Borchkins
(724 posts)RIP
gademocrat7
(10,676 posts)NastyRiffraff
(12,448 posts)I'm very sorry for your loss, but I'm glad she went "peacefully at home, without pain, with serenity, awareness and deep curiosity."
iluvtennis
(19,882 posts)CousinIT
(9,264 posts)If this is hers, it's VERY beautiful. Ethereal.
The_jackalope
(1,660 posts)hamsterjill
(15,224 posts)She must've been a very special soul. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Your tribute is beautiful, and I'm sure she's smiling down on you.
niyad
(113,628 posts)Lochloosa
(16,073 posts)Dark n Stormy Knight
(9,771 posts)Condolences to both of you for the loss this transition brings. May the memory of the beautiful union always be a part of what sustains you.
redstatebluegirl
(12,265 posts)ck4829
(35,094 posts)Ninga
(8,280 posts)MuseRider
(34,135 posts)Your strength through this has been amazing. I hope it continues to hold you up as you do the grief work still ahead of you. For now please accept my condolences to you. You and your wife are a perfect example of love and the ability to understand one another and do the right thing.
Be at peace, you were a wonderful husband to her. I will be thinking of you both.
RIP Kathleen Farago May May your journey be peaceful and interesting.
sdfernando
(4,947 posts)Moostache
(9,897 posts)May she rest in peace and live on in your memories.
2naSalit
(86,843 posts)Beacool
(30,253 posts)Before commenting I looked her up online. Her art is fantastic, I would have loved to own a piece. It's beautiful work. I uploaded Aries, my astrological symbol, so that others can see her work.
She seems to have been a wonderful person, aside from being a talented artist. My condolences to you and your loved ones.
Permanut
(5,661 posts)Thanks for sharing your journey (and hers) with us.
TrollBuster9090
(5,955 posts)I'll look forward to meeting her on the other side.
In the meantime, my deepest condolences to you.
alfredo
(60,077 posts)NNadir
(33,574 posts)Condolences on the loss, and congratulations on having been with her.