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TM99

(8,352 posts)
Tue Jan 27, 2015, 02:30 PM Jan 2015

It is done.

Yesterday evening my father entered hospice. He was lucid enough that he was able to hear my SO and I over the phone sharing our love for him with him one last time.

Today at 12:45pm local time, my father died. It still feels so unreal in some ways. We all know that death is a part of our lives. I have known for some time that my father was old and had numerous health problems, and I still imagined that my daddy would never die, right?

So today, I begin to grief. I want to thank each and every person who has shared stories, thoughts, prayers, etc. with me here on these forums. Y'all have been wonderful, and I so appreciate it.

I may not be on much over the next few days, and then again I may be a lot in order to distract myself from some of these feelings. My mother is a wreck and even at a distance I have much to do to help her make this transition.

Again, thank you all.

18 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
It is done. (Original Post) TM99 Jan 2015 OP
May he rest in peace and rise in Glory! hrmjustin Jan 2015 #1
Thank you Justin. TM99 Jan 2015 #8
Praying for you and your family. Terra Alta Jan 2015 #2
Thank you very much. TM99 Jan 2015 #9
I'm so sorry for your loss. Htom Sirveaux Jan 2015 #3
Thank you very much. TM99 Jan 2015 #10
Take care of yourself. We'll still be here. rug Jan 2015 #4
Thank you Rug. TM99 Jan 2015 #11
I am so sorry for your loss and hope you can find some solace here. cbayer Jan 2015 #5
Thank you Cbayer. TM99 Jan 2015 #12
I have to apologize to you. kentauros Jan 2015 #6
No, you have zero reasons to apologize to me about this. TM99 Jan 2015 #7
There were many more for sure - and I was one of them goldent Jan 2015 #13
Thank you golden. TM99 Jan 2015 #17
I am so sorry for the loss okasha Jan 2015 #14
Thank you okasha TM99 Jan 2015 #18
So sorry you cannot be there in person carolinayellowdog Jan 2015 #15
Thank you. TM99 Jan 2015 #16
 

hrmjustin

(71,265 posts)
1. May he rest in peace and rise in Glory!
Tue Jan 27, 2015, 02:33 PM
Jan 2015

I am so sorry for your loss TM99! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

TM99

(8,352 posts)
8. Thank you Justin.
Tue Jan 27, 2015, 09:44 PM
Jan 2015

I just spoke again to my mother and her priest. We discussed the funeral, and while I will not be able to be there, they are recording all of it for me. It sounds like it is going to be a wonderful reflection of his spiritual path and for that I am very grateful.

 

TM99

(8,352 posts)
11. Thank you Rug.
Tue Jan 27, 2015, 09:46 PM
Jan 2015

It has been a long day. I have cried some but I haven't had much time. So many arrangements to be made even at a distance. I finally got to speak with my mother alone and she shared that he died very peacefully. For that I am so thankful.

 

TM99

(8,352 posts)
12. Thank you Cbayer.
Tue Jan 27, 2015, 09:48 PM
Jan 2015

When he died this morning, I was teaching a seminar. About 10 minutes after it finished, I got the call from my sister. I smiled, because my father, the professor, is who I got my love of knowledge and sharing that knowledge from.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
6. I have to apologize to you.
Tue Jan 27, 2015, 08:50 PM
Jan 2015

I've known about your pinned thread since we decided to put it up there, and yet I said nothing. I usually don't because I end up tongue-tied as to what to say, without it sounding trite and half-hearted.

I truly do not know what you're going through because I haven't yet experienced it. Still, I give you my heartfelt condolences at this time, and hope you can accept my apology for remaining quiet through it all

 

TM99

(8,352 posts)
7. No, you have zero reasons to apologize to me about this.
Tue Jan 27, 2015, 09:42 PM
Jan 2015

I know that probably three times as many posters here read my thread, reflected on it in their own lives, and may have even offered up prayers without ever letting me know.

Your heart-felt expression now is wonderful, and I thank you for it.

goldent

(1,582 posts)
13. There were many more for sure - and I was one of them
Tue Jan 27, 2015, 11:59 PM
Jan 2015

I was reading and hoping. So sorry to hear of your loss.

 

TM99

(8,352 posts)
17. Thank you golden.
Thu Jan 29, 2015, 08:43 PM
Jan 2015

Yes, I had such hope, and yet I know how old and chronically ill he was. He had a wonderful 80+ years of life.

okasha

(11,573 posts)
14. I am so sorry for the loss
Wed Jan 28, 2015, 12:46 AM
Jan 2015

of your wonderful dad. From your words, we were privileged to know him, if only a little. May the peace and love that passes understanding be with you and your family.

 

TM99

(8,352 posts)
18. Thank you okasha
Thu Jan 29, 2015, 08:45 PM
Jan 2015

Yes, my father was a quietly great man. He was not famous or a celebrity. He was one of those men who through his words and passion inspired not only me but so many other young men and women. That came through with so many that were touched by him even tangentially.

carolinayellowdog

(3,247 posts)
15. So sorry you cannot be there in person
Wed Jan 28, 2015, 01:17 PM
Jan 2015

There is so much that a family has to deal with at these times of transition, I know it's a hardship to you and your mother that you can't get there for a while. But at a distance you can still be a pillar of strength and support for your loved ones. May your love for one another provide some solace in this time of grief, and may your memorial service in the spring bring some healing of your loss.

 

TM99

(8,352 posts)
16. Thank you.
Thu Jan 29, 2015, 08:42 PM
Jan 2015

Yes, not being there has been very difficult. I feel no small amount of guilt about it, and yet, I know my own limitations & must respect them.

Today was a break from plans, and I really just sat with my memories of him. I also started composing a requiem for him as well. I still owe you a long PM, we have much to discuss, and I do apologize for the delay.

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