So a Girl Walks into a Comedy Club….

[boston bean]

This is something that happened to a friend of mine in her own words.

“So, on Friday night my friend and I were at her house and wanted to get out and do something for the evening. We brainstormed ideas and she brought up the idea of seeing a show at the Laugh Factory. I’d never been, I thought it sounded fun, so we went. We saw that Dane Cook, along some other names we didn’t recognize we’re playing, and while we both agree that Cook’s style is not really our taste we were opened-minded about what the others had to offer. And we figured even good ol’ Dane can be funny sometimes, even if it’s not really our thing. Anyhoo, his act was actually fine, but then when his was done, some other guy I didn’t recognize took the stage. Of course, I would find out later this was Daniel Tosh, but at the time I thought he was just some yahoo who somehow got a gig going on after Cook. I honestly thought he was an amateur because he didn’t seem that comfortable on stage and seemed to have a really awkward presence.


So Tosh then starts making some very generalizing, declarative statements about rape jokes always being funny, how can a rape joke not be funny, rape is hilarious, etc. I don’t know why he was so repetitive about it but I felt provoked because I, for one, DON’T find them funny and never have. So I didnt appreciate Daniel Tosh (or anyone!) telling me I should find them funny. So I yelled out, “Actually, rape jokes are never funny!”

I did it because, even though being “disruptive” is against my nature, I felt that sitting there and saying nothing, or leaving quietly, would have been against my values as a person and as a woman. I don’t sit there while someone tells me how I should feel about something as profound and damaging as rape.

After I called out to him, Tosh paused for a moment. Then, he says, “Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…” and I, completely stunned and finding it hard to process what was happening but knowing i needed to get out of there, immediately nudged my friend, who was also completely stunned, and we high-tailed it out of there. It was humiliating, of course, especially as the audience guffawed in response to Tosh, their eyes following us as we made our way out of there. I didn’t hear the rest of what he said about me.

Now in the lobby, I spoke with the girl at the will-call desk, and demanded to see the manager. The manager on duty quickly came out to speak with me, and she was profusely apologetic, and seemed genuinely sorry about what had happened, but of course we received no refund for our tickets, but instead a comped pair of tickets, although she admitted she understood if we never wanted to come back. I can imagine the Laugh Factory doesn’t really have a policy in place for what happens when a woman has to leave in a hurry because the person onstage is hurling violent words about sexual violence at her. Although maybe I’m not the first girl to have that happen to her.

I should probably add that having to basically flee while Tosh was enthusing about how hilarious it would be if I was gang-raped in that small, claustrophic room was pretty viscerally terrifying and threatening all the same, even if the actual scenario was unlikely to take place. The suggestion of it is violent enough and was meant to put me in my place.”

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http://breakfastcookie.tumblr.com/post/26879625651/so-a-girl-walks-into-a-comedy-club

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[Habibi]

1. Unbelieveably disgusting.

I wonder where his next appearance is? He should be faced with several hundred pissed-off hecklers. At the very fucking least.

[thelordofhell]

2. He's apologized for the "joke"

http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/11/showbiz/daniel-tosh-jokes-apology-ew/

[boston bean]

3. hmmmm... where have I ever seen words similar to this before...

The comedian tweeted an apology and a link to a blogger's account of his recent stand-up performance. "All the out of context misquotes aside, I'd like to sincerely apologize," Tosh wrote.

That is from the CNN Link....

THE CONTEXT DEFENSE! This woman took his jokes about having her gang raped right there OUT OF CONTEXT!

It was a fucking JOKE! Get a life womens.....

[Broderick]

4. The standard

non-apology qualified apology which is worth zilch.

Basically woe is me but I will apologize anyway.

[seabeyond]

25. ah... the apologies suck today. had another read on the hip hop thread

of a piss poor apology. IF you are offended. fuck that.

[redqueen]

5. When I saw the title, I was reminded of this.

http://gabydunn.com/post/18080881450/heckler

[seabeyond]

11. Fuck, man. Fuck.

geez...

[redqueen]

16. You can see why it stayed with me.

She does a great job of describing that damned if you do, damned if you don't feeling. And the gut-churning fear.

[seabeyond]

17. and then swing it back to all her fault, one way or another. why so weak. why not more brave

yup

just being a silly woman, all emotional. the guy is just playing, being a boy, surely.

[MadrasT]

18. Dear God.

I feel so much empathy for her, going through that questioning of herself about what she did wrong or what she "should have done".

As if any of it was her fault.

[Scuba]

6. Jokes not funny, apology not authentic = fail.

[seabeyond]

7. I felt that sitting there and saying nothing would have been against my values as a person

ya know.... i tend to agree.

my husband cannot stand tosh. for all these reasons and more. we often have comedy usa on in the car, especially for trips. this weekend he said something again about tosh. very offensive to him. then having tosh come on after colbert on comedy central, we will get a little bit before changing the channel.

i was surprised. he generally does not speak out so strongly.

sometimes the dude is funny. too much, he goes way too far. had a video the other night (before we changed channel to maddow), talking about the chimpanzee. zoming in, it was a little black girl.

tosh isnt sorry.

this is disgusting a room of people would laugh. truly disgusting while making a suggestion to gang rape a woman. that simple. no justifying.

[unblock]

8. tosh only works if you buy the too-over-the-top-to-be-believed type of humor.

mrs. unblock and i find it hilarious but we had to watch a few of his shows before we got the hang of his schtick.

his humor does not work at all if you take any one joke in isolation, it's all about repeatedly going straight for the most outragously racist, sexist, nationalistic, anti-semitic, homophobic, bigotted statement imaginable and blurting it out as if there were no taboo and nothing offensive about it whatsoever. in the process he shows just how silly some of these extreme stereotypes are.

but if you don't buy the act, the statements themselves are just unbelievably biggotted.



there are a number of comics these days whose shtick involves saying mean or outrageous things. if they do it right, it can be funny, but otherwise it's just stupid and/or insulting and/or mean and/or bigotted. i imagine while these comedians are doing their research or handling hecklers or otherwise improvising they're even more likely to miss the mark and have it come off poorly and offensively.


one thing about tosh, though, is that none of his jokes work outside of his routine. you can't say "hey, i heard this funny bit from tosh, it went like this" because if anyone else says it, it's just horrible. kinda like sasha baron cohen's (borat/ali g/bruno) humor.


now, how mrs. unblock is able to enjoy howard stern, that's another matter entirely. she's hooked on stern and i'll never get that one. never found him entertaining, only juvenile.

[redqueen]

14. Yep.

I'm almost ashamed to say I've enjoyed some of his shows.

A few too many ugh moments though, so I stopped watching.

[BanzaiBonnie]

9. My dear husband responded, thusly...

saying it would be funny if a bunch of guys raped that woman, would be like saying, "wouldn't it be funny if we put that Jew in an oven. Right here. Right now."

[seabeyond]

12. highly offensive, beyond that.... and yes.

i love men that get it.

[unblock]

13. the problem is that's also par for the course for tosh!

i don't think reductio ad absurdum works in this situation, it just gives him more material....

[MadrasT]

21. That is a really good analogy. n/t

[seabeyond]

22. you are funny.... look, you can do what he does and make the big bucks. good point.

and the room laugh themselves silly.

[seabeyond]

24. very good post. and i agree and....

thucy, thank you.

[MadrasT]

15. Some things are never funny.

And those are two of the things that are never funny.

[redwitch]

10. I loathe the show on Comedy Central

And having read this post I now loathe him. His "humor" disgusts me.

[bluesbassman]

19. Not even remotely appropriate joke material. Rape is never, ever "funny" or "humorous".

His apology failed too. Should have owned up to it and straight apologized.

[sufrommich]

26. Sickening. I think I once made it through

3 minutes of a Tosh show,anybody over 13 who thinks this guy is funny has a maturity problem. His "apology" is almost as insulting as his rape jokes.

[CrispyQ]

27. I've not heard of this asshole before.

That not one other person stood up & shamed Tosh is a sad commentary on our society. This is so disgusting.

[seabeyond]

28. That not one other person stood up & shamed Tosh is a sad commentary on our society.

agreed. though, i do imagine there were those that quietly supported her and were not a part of the "fun". just like, the majority on du, men included, do not support or justify or excuse this. it does seem to be the minority.

[ismnotwasm]

29. Even the late, great George Carlin

Fell flat with his "rape can be funny" skit. Carlin was an equal opportunity ironist, as well as a great comedian. He strongly felt that giving words too much individual power was wrong. But as talented as he was, the jokes were lame. Not as atrocious as who ever this idiot is, (clearly sir, you are no George Carlin) but stupid enough he didn't make his point. The audience laughs, sure, but George Carlin could make you laugh til you cry with a Rice Crispies joke.



The comedian insiders (I guess) joke "The Aristocrats" which pushes to be as offensive as humanly possible, with every single tabu subject- usually of excretory and sexual and physical appearance topics-almost makes the point; the mind is bombarded with Data you KNOW is just wrong, and beyond wrong, until that sense of irony appears.

But, I said, "almost" makes the point, mostly I ended up glad I'm not a comedian, while appreciating Whoopie Goldberg's version of the joke.

Rape isn't ever funny. There are ways to use the topic of rape as comedic material, as long as it isn't at the expense of the victim. What this guy did bordered on illegal, and in some situations would and should be.

[seabeyond]

30. great George Carlin Fell flat with his "rape can be funny" skit

i love listening to you. i agree, even carlin was not funny, with rape. the guys may think they are funny.... but they are not, and why? cause it isnt funny. there will always be the man that laughs, cause he has no empathy and no feeling toward the subject, so isnt it funny. and there will be others that are uncomfortable and do a laugh.... just cause it is uncomfortable. but many.... both genders, will sit thru it, thinking all kinds of thoughts.

i laugh at comedians all the time, but i really am not into hurtful and ugly, for a giggle. there are lots of comedians that can do an act, without ugly.