Ladies Get Their Froo-Froos In A Twist
Hey ladies, it’s time to talk lady business! And you know what that means – this post is all about la las. Froo froos. Noonis! Blarf marfs. Jim jams. Budakhans. Ling lings. Tim tams. Flip flops. Mac Attacks.
So hey, what do you use to clean your bibimbop? Is it Femfresh, “the PH-balanced formula specially designed for intimate skin?” Then you’d better go “like” their Facebook page, where as we speak a social media disaster is happening. And it is wonderful.
I know I’ve ranted about douche before, but for those just joining us, here’s the deal: vaginas (*gasp*) are self-cleaning. You do not need to hose them down with vinegar or any other kind of douche. Nothing inside you needs cleaning and you can clean the exterior of your crotch with soap just like dudes can. Using douche internally can lead to infections, which can lead to serious problems like infertility. If there’s something wrong with your vagina, see a doctor. Douches are at best useless and worst harmful. This is why “douche” is the very best insult you can ever throw at someone.
Along comes Femfresh, and like all douches, Femfresh must sell you a useless product by playing on your insecurities about your own body. You just aren’t fresh without using Femfresh! They want you to put their vile concoction in your vagina, but saying the word “vagina” requires some level of comfort with your body’s natural state, and they can’t sell douche to someone like that. So instead they use cutesy, infantilizing euphemisms like “va jay jay, kitty, nooni, lala, froo froo!” “Expert care for down there.” Down where? My feet?
Happily, women have caught on to this bullshit and they’re not taking it lying down. Femfresh’s Facebook page is currently flooded with hilarious criticisms like these (from both men and women) (EDIT: the page has just been taken down. Ha! Here is a screenshot.):
http://skepchick.org/2012/06/ladies-get-their-froo-froos-in-a-twist/
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