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sheshe2

(83,940 posts)
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 12:25 AM Oct 2014

Before Shelter ***Trigger Warning***

Before Shelter

In the 1970s, women like Renee had few options for safety. They listened, and like good listeners, they obeyed through turmoil and injury.

If the public acknowledged them at all, hushed words singled them out as battered women between snickers and ironic cracks. They were reminded “till death do us part” as they scrambled to disguise black eyes and broken ribs, and at night when they locked their front doors to keep safe from intruders, they cast their pleas into residual silence.

Friends and relatives who might offer a couch or bed instead counseled them to tough it out: “That’s what marriage is.”

Without social support, they had little recourse to become immediately independent as domestic violence necessitates. Abusers most often severely injure or kill just before victims decide to leave. Victims must safety plan in meticulous detail to ensure that abusers do not know their plans. Many need to find a new home and a new job in a new neighborhood so that their abusers cannot find them once they’ve left. Many leave with barely any belongings because packing a proper suitcase could tip their abusers off.

snip

Read more:http://www.womenagainstabuse.org/index.php/about-us/waa-history#before

The Early Years

In the late 1960s, second-wave feminist activists ignited the Battered Women’s Movement. Women experiencing violence began to break the silence, prompting widespread attitudinal change that the need for domestic violence services is a collective issue rather than an individual problem.Women banded together to provide informal services, such as shelters run from homes, to support each other. It would not be until 1984 that DV programs would be eligible for designated government funds under the Family Violence Prevention Services Act.

It was in the midst of this movement in the mid-70s, and at a crucial point in Renee’s life, that Women Against Abuse got its start.

In the late 1970s, hospitals witnessed scores of women enter emergency care because of an abusive partner. Neck injuries from strangulation, broken cheek bones and dark bruises all pointed to the same story.

Compelled by their interactions with these patients, two Philadelphia-based hospital social workers collaborated to form Philadelphia’s first domestic violence crisis hotline. Today, the hotline continues as a free and confidential 24-hour resource for safety planning, crisis counseling, and referrals, taking approximately 10,000 calls each year.


http://www.womenagainstabuse.org/index.php/about-us/waa-history#early


Beyond Shelter

Women Against Abuse remained ahead of the curve, founding the first legal center in the country dedicated to victims of domestic violence. The organization’s leadership continually grew to meet clients’ needs, adding Sojourner House in 1987 to alleviate the desperate demand for long-term supportive housing. WAA introduced preventive educational services in the 90s. In 2008, staff members integrated behavioral health services into residential programs in response to the severe trauma evidenced among shelter residents.

Read More: http://www.womenagainstabuse.org/index.php/about-us/waa-history#beyond

Today

Today, public consensus says domestic violence is wrong. As more victims speak out, the shame might lessen, but the victim’s reality is still fraught with innumerable challenges and complications. Supportive services are crucial to untangling the difficulties that make freedom from domestic violence seem impossible. In 2011, demand for services still heavily exceeds supply. The police, for example, fields 115,000 calls for domestic violence each year. The work that domestic violence advocates fulfill provides critical safety outlets so that no woman or child has to suffer in silence.

Read More: http://www.womenagainstabuse.org/index.php/about-us/waa-history#today

No No No! The friends and relatives were wrong! That is not what marriage is! "Till death do us part!" NO!

Speak up and break your silence. Tell someone. It hurts I know it does. I know. Please stop suffering in silence.


9 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Before Shelter ***Trigger Warning*** (Original Post) sheshe2 Oct 2014 OP
"hushed words singled them out as battered women between snickers and ironic cracks." sheshe2 Oct 2014 #1
I suffered in silence for too long alittlelark Oct 2014 #2
I am loving you here alittlelark. sheshe2 Oct 2014 #3
Just doing what I'm doing..... alittlelark Oct 2014 #5
GOP-LP say leave it to family and church. They defund shelters, crisis hotlines, rape centers freshwest Oct 2014 #4
Tears~ sheshe2 Oct 2014 #6
Brings back memories of the 70's theHandpuppet Oct 2014 #7
What a wonderful thing to do, tH. KitSileya Oct 2014 #9
And really ismnotwasm Oct 2014 #8

sheshe2

(83,940 posts)
1. "hushed words singled them out as battered women between snickers and ironic cracks."
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 02:21 AM
Oct 2014
"They were reminded “till death do us part” as they scrambled to disguise black eyes and broken ribs, and at night when they locked their front doors to keep safe from intruders, they cast their pleas into residual silence."

"In the late 1970s, hospitals witnessed scores of women enter emergency care because of an abusive partner. Neck injuries from strangulation, broken cheek bones and dark bruises all pointed to the same story."

"crisis counseling, and referrals, taking approximately 10,000 calls each year."

"The police, for example, fields 115,000 calls for domestic violence each year. The work that domestic violence advocates fulfill provides critical safety outlets so that no woman or child has to suffer in silence."

The police were at my house, were they at yours? His father heard about it over the police scanner. He knew and did nothing to stop it.

I left, I finally decided to no longer remain silent. Lucky for me I made that decision.



I am free~





alittlelark

(18,890 posts)
2. I suffered in silence for too long
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 02:37 AM
Oct 2014

The Verbal and Emotional violence kept me silent for years......


No more. Done.


Creating a new reality.....

sheshe2

(83,940 posts)
3. I am loving you here alittlelark.
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 02:52 AM
Oct 2014

Strength Beauty, brava!

You will create a new reality and you will shine.

alittlelark

(18,890 posts)
5. Just doing what I'm doing.....
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 03:14 AM
Oct 2014

along with a bobcat and backhoe! ....seriously, they are in the yard....

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
4. GOP-LP say leave it to family and church. They defund shelters, crisis hotlines, rape centers
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 03:01 AM
Oct 2014
and push to remove laws from the books that prosecute abusers for this reason, but more to not pay taxes.

Two families reaction to one man's abuse:

The man's first wife had a daughter, and he beat her. She was not certain what to do but her father had come to see her and the baby, and when he saw the bruises, he didn't ask any questions. He made her pack up and took her and the baby girl back home to safety. Then he refused to let the abuser visit and they soon got divorced. She never remarried and had her own skills to support her daughter.

He remarried, this time to a very young woman, and began beating her. Her family figured it was not their problem. She had a daughter as well. She came down with tb and ended up in one of the sanitariums of that era and was expected to recover. But she refused to eat, because getting better meant she would be sent home to him, and she died, leaving her girl. Fortunately, unwilling to raise the child himself, he gave her to his sister to bring her up.

The girls later got to know each other, but they were profoundly different people due to their life experiences.

That is why dumping the problem on family and church is inadequate. It is very ancient, this kind of treatment of women.

sheshe2

(83,940 posts)
6. Tears~
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 03:45 AM
Oct 2014

I am in tears, freshest.

It is the never ending story. Abused Refused All Rights Denied Die!

theHandpuppet

(19,964 posts)
7. Brings back memories of the 70's
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 07:33 AM
Oct 2014

I was working at an arts center in downtown Cinci where the floor above served as a registration/processing center for the battered women's shelter. (The women would be taken from there to a secret, safe house.) Many was the day when I'd step into the elevator to see women whose faces were beaten to an unrecognizable, bloodied, black & blue pulp. I'd gather up stacks of drawing and prints and take them upstairs, then place them on a table with a sign, "Free Art". That might seem like an odd thing to do but all of the art would be snatched up in a matter of minutes. I guess the art served as a reminder that there is still beauty in the world and it gave them that thought to hold on to.

KitSileya

(4,035 posts)
9. What a wonderful thing to do, tH.
Tue Oct 7, 2014, 02:52 PM
Oct 2014

Art is truly what reminds us of how wonderful humanity can be when we seem surrounded and oppressed by the horrible things humanity can do.

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