Robot hugs: Advice to men on street harassment.

[KitSileya]

Last edited Tue Aug 5, 2014, 01:01 PM - Edit history (1)

It is long, but very, very good.

[Demit]

1. The whole strip is appearing twice.

If you're still able to edit it, cut it in half & it won't be so long

[KitSileya]

3. Done! Thanks for the heads-up. n/t

[intaglio]

2. Men who claim that they have never seen male/female oppression are blind

Thanks for this

[redqueen]

4. Thanks for this,

I also love this one
http://www.robot-hugs.com/but-men/

[BlueJazz]

5. I enjoyed that. When I was very young, I remember watching a Star-Trek episode that...

... portrayed a society where the male/female roles were reversed.
It was of my first feeling/experiences of thinking "I get something here but not sure why"

10-12 years later, I think/hope I "got" it.

One other thing. I'm over 6' tall. I wonder if tall men have a harder time understanding how it feels to be ...ah...
5' 2' and only weigh 125-150, and frequently feel threatened ?? I suppose it's more character than anything else.

Just a thought.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

6. You can reach an 8' ceiling. Picture having to strain to reach the second shelf in the kitchen.

[BlueJazz]

7. You know, I can. I mean, I wasn't always tall. You would think that some men would put their..

...experience as a young person (shorter) and transfer that feeling to the present.
From my own past and friends I've known, this whole degrading some women by some men is a
learned action formed at a young age.

Having said that, most disgusting behavior can also be unlearned....as it should be.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

9. Most of my friends have been women so I hear it all.

[passiveporcupine]

8. Not as extreme, but

I hear guys say "I'd hit it" every time they are sharing a photo of a sexy woman. With other women in the mix, they don't really understand how that makes women feel.

I've learned to let it go. These guys are pretty decent and admit they are pigs about sexy pictures of women. I just hope they never do that in person to woman they don't know.

It is an integral part of our society. And the fact that men do this in mixed groups, as if it shouldn't bother the women present just shows they are totally unaware of how it comes across.

[redqueen]

10. "I've learned to let it go" = consigning our daughters to second-class treatment.

We all decide for ourselves what we will fight and what we'll put up with.

I'm glad that more and more women are deciding at younger and younger ages not to put up with being treated like they're less than human.

[passiveporcupine]

11. I would not allow this in real life, happening to a real person

This is just a small group of friends on a forum (mostly men), and some of the guys do this...not meaning to upset anyone. I know in real life they don't do this to women in public. I chide them occasionally when they start posting too much of it, saying "hey guys, remember there are women in the room", but they don't do it to insult anyone. It's more like a room full of little boys giggling over a playboy mag, when there is no woman around to overhear them.

If they ever admitted behaving this way in a public place or alone with woman, I'd nail em.

I'm not a miss priss...I know guys alone with guys can be pretty crude at times. Now and then I post something to make them "think" about what they are doing. Don't know if it has any affect on them.

[F4lconF16]

12. While it's enturely up to you

to decide what's worth pursuing, in my experience those private conversations are where guys can learn best. I've been privy to those conversations before, and it makes a big difference when I say something about it. When guys are told that their "private" conversations are wrong, for whatever reason they seem to listen better.

It might be because I am a guy, and hearing that I'm not okay with it makes them think. I don't know. But when they finally realize it's not okay even in private, they sometimes try to stop thinking a certain way, which I think helps influence them in other areas of their life. I explained it to one guy like this: if you wouldn't say racist things in public, how does it make it okay to say those same things in private? It made him think, and I'm actually kinda proud of him, as he's changed his ways of thinking a lot and I've heard him speak up now too.

I think part of the problem with sexism being so persistent in our society is that men are encouraged to look at women in two different ways, one public and one private. I've had guys say things about women to me that they've admitted they would never say around a woman. There's a lot of things that encourage thus, from jokes on tv (just saw an episode of Tosh.0, and that's a nasty example of this if I ever saw one; people are encouraged to laugh at sexism and racism and all sorts of crap in the privacy of their homes) to the porn industry to just average guys who like treating women that way, but know it's not publicly acceptable.

Those private conversations are more than just guys being crude; they're an entire way of thinking. A couple of comments reminding them that sexism isn't okay anywhere, not just in private, can make a difference.

Edit to add that shutting down private sexism doesn't make you a "miss priss", if there's such a thing. You're doing the right thing, and screw the guys who can't understand that, as far as I'm concerned.
Edit again to add that that may have come across badly. They're still friends. Sorry if that was a bit much.

[passiveporcupine]

13. thank you for being a man who stands up to other men

I really appreciate that.

I have stood up to these guys in the past, but get a hard time from them if I don't just back off soon. I try not to read posts that contain that kind of info any more. It's easier for me to just avoid it. And I know, if we were all standing in a room, in real life, they would not act that way in front of the women. Whenever it gets really bad, I do say something. I don't make a big issue of it...just try to remind them there are women on the site. The other women who don't appreciate it (I am guessing) just don't say a word.

[F4lconF16]

14. Yes, I didn't mean to imply

that you need to respond to them or police them. It's up to them to do that. I'm sure they don't appreciate when you do speak up, and I don't blame you at all for just trying to ignore it. That's where I would hope another guy would step in and support you, or even better, say something before you feel the need to. (I would hope, anyways, it rarely seems to be the case.)

Anyways, I'm happy to speak up. I'm lucky enough that in my circle of friends (referring to male friends) it usually only takes a couple words for them (or me, sometimes) to realize we've said something stupid and think about it and apologize (to the other guys). Wow, too many parenthetic statements there, but whatever, I'm tired and it's too much effort to fix