Nerdy Feminist: How To Enter Feminist Discussions at the 101 Level

[MadrasT]

Last edited Thu May 24, 2012, 04:46 PM - Edit history (1)

Found this one today and thought there was some good advice in here:

How to Enter Feminist Discussions at the 101 Level and Not Totally Mess Up

As it has become abundantly clear, I've been dealing with a whole lot 'o people who are new to (and relatively insensitive toward) discussions of gender. These past few exchanges have been a truly stressful experience for me. They've made me question my ability to engage with people who frankly don't care about issues of oppression and equality. They've made me want to go live in a cave where I only interact with other hardcore feminists who "get me."

And that's really sad--because if everyone who cared deeply about a cause became so jaded by interactions with uninformed people, that cause would eventually die out. There'd be nobody willing to spread/promote the messages. And that's really the last thing I want for feminism. I really believe there needs to be a space for 101 interactions. I'm not convinced that I'm necessarily the person to champion these spaces, for my own emotional health, but I do think they are important.

As such, after doing a few things to personally cope with this frustrating business, I've decided to channel this experience into something productive and hopefully useful. What follows are my suggestions for how to enter feminist discussions (and other discussions of privilege, oppression, and inequality) at the 101 level and not totally mess up! I should note here that some of the people I engaged with were actually just trolls. But for people who are new to feminism and would like engage in good faith, here you go:

1) Do some research. The internet and library exist for a reason.

2) Check your privilege.

3) Listen. Seriously--LISTEN.

4) Remove your personal intentions from the discussion and self-reflect.

5) Accept that there is no weakness in change.

6) Have a little grace.

7) If it's not about you, don't make it about you.

8) Lastly, don't be these people.

Linky here: How to Enter Feminist Discussions at the 101 Level and Not Totally Mess Up

There is a lot more commentary about each numbered item in the full article.

[seabeyond]

1. OMG... i say in my best valley girl... lol

Last edited Thu May 24, 2012, 10:49 AM - Edit history (1)

i love it and so very true.

post 1. i know people like this. i am much more patient and have had to go thru explanations not only on sexism, but those awakening in the political realm. it is my forte. and i like doing it. but, i find many do not have the patience here. and i have to have understanding and respect toward them, for the inability.

it was all very good.

it was all very much right on.

and it is all stuff i have said repeatedly.

good article.

[boston bean]

2. silencing the voice of the oppressed..

powerful words right there in point #3!

Thanks for this post. Everyone entering here, who wants to learn how to learn about feminism needs to read this!

[MadrasT]

3. I tried to pick out my "favorite point"...

...but it was all *so* good I couldn't pick just one.

[Hatchling]

4. My favorite is under #7.

Women, people of color, fat people, disabled people, gay people, trans people, etc. are allowed to have spaces to talk about their experiences. Every discussion about what it's like to be in one group doesn't require other perspectives.

[boston bean]

5. yeah, that one hit home too...

actually of them did. Like MadrasT says, it was hard to only be impressed or agreeable to only one of them.

It was a great article.

[alynn]

6. Thank you

Hi everyone,

I got track backs on my site and clicked my way through to here. I really appreciate all your kind words. I wrote these tips from my experiences and frustrations and I'm so happy that other people find it helpful. It's really refreshing to read people saying nice things instead of the hate that I typically click through to.

Cheers!
A. Lynn (Nerdyfeminist.com)

[seabeyond]

7. that is so cool.... yea you, that you were able to do that. welcome to du

and i enjoyed what you wrote. i think it was.... you are right on.

glad you were able to see people appreciate what you say. dont we know.... how seldom it is to hear something positive. BUT, when we do, it is well worth it.

thank you for taking the time to reg and say hi.

[MadrasT]

8. Hi there!

Loved it, love your site.

Thank you.

[boston bean]

9. keep swinging by if you can.

We need all the voices we can get in this group.

Your piece was so helpful and is something we face daily.

So, thank you for putting it together in such an easy, understandable way!

[alynn]

10. Thanks again

Y'all are so nice. I'll poke around the site a bit and check it out!

[redqueen]

11. Hi! Thank you so much for writing this.

As someone who regularly feels the need to seek refuge in feminist-only spaces, I see this as something that is so sorely needed.

Well done!

[Hatchling]

14. Welcome!

It was a great article. Glad you were able to see how much we appreciated it.

[BlueIris]

12. #5 is critical.

Far too many, myself included, fear weakness. Vulnerability, including that which requires admitting personal wrongs, is scary in many ways. But we still need to do it when our facts or perceptions are inaccurate.

[seabeyond]

13. reality, once not holding onto the perception of vulnerability, that very word disappears.

people are vulnerable in the fact that they protect. no longer protect, and there is no longer vulnerability. it is amazing the way that works.