What is Rape Culture?

[ismnotwasm]

(Awesome essay by Jim C Hines--a fantasy author I've never read, but might now just start)


[

This led to a side discussion about what “rape culture” meant. The suggestion came up that the phrase is a dog whistle that prevents honest discussion and implies all men are rapists and rape-enablers.

Okay, given the seven billion people in this world, I’m sure you can find one who believes all men are rapists, but that isn’t what that phrase has meant in any conversation I can remember having. (It is what I’ve seen some “Men’s Rights” advocates try to claim it means, because it gives them a way to derail discussion.)

I use “rape culture” to describe a society in which sexual violence is common, underreported, and underprosecuted, where rape victims are blamed or even prosecuted for trying to report the crime. A society that turns its back on rape survivors, or blames them for wearing the wrong clothes, drinking the wrong things, sending the wrong signals, putting themselves in the wrong situation, and so on. A society that treats women as objects and encourages men to be sexually aggressive, to see sex as a game to be won.

Does this mean all men believe women who are raped deserve it? That’s as silly as saying “The U.S. has a strong gun culture” = “All Americans are gun owners” or “Tumblr is full of fandom culture” = “All Tumblr posts are about fandom.”

Okay, fine, the argument goes. But that doesn’t prove this so-called “rape culture” actually exists. You worked as a rape counselor and spend a lot of time talking about this. Doesn’t that give you a distorted, overblown sense of the problem?

http://www.jimchines.com/2013/06/what-is-rape-culture/

[BainsBane]

1. Sounds like he's been spending time

on DU.

[ismnotwasm]

2. I know

That weird book was a thread. People seemed actually shocked. Why? I don't know.

From the intro of the article

Last night, I posted the following on Facebook and Tumblr:

It’s not that Ken Hoinsky ran a Kickstarter campaign to fund his book, “A Guide to Getting Awesome with Women,” filled with advice for aspiring rapists, like “Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant.”

It’s that 732 people backed his project on Kickstarter. That they donated more than eight times what Hoinsky was asking for.

[BainsBane]

3. There was a thread about that book here?

[ismnotwasm]

5. Yup

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023049361


The way the title of the the OP was phrased, elicited an interesting response

[BainsBane]

6. What, no celebration

by certain sectors of the site? Hmm. I guess they were too busy fretting about the unjust attention paid to the Juarez serial killing.

[ismnotwasm]

7. That they were

I was pleasantly surprised. But they were all over defending serial killers-- other than a couple--than to defend PUA's

[BainsBane]

8. You couldn't make that shit up if you tried

[ismnotwasm]

9. I know

And I have to say, that is some mental twister going on there.

[Just Saying]

4. Great essay

I was amazed at the attitudes during a discussion about rape here on DU where many posters would insist they're not blaming the victim but then saying she should have used common sense or not got into the situation etc. And challenging the attitude was met with anger!

I sat on the jury trial where the victim was 18 and a guy got in thru an unlocked window and raped her at gun point. The defense still tried to say she invited him because her mother wasn't home and brought up previous pot use. Thank goodness Ohio has a shield law to keep them from getting really low.

[MadrasT]

10. They completely contradict themselves

Because saying the victim "should have been more careful" is the very *definition* of victim blaming

Somehow they do not see a conflict there

It is fasinating behavior - and disturbing at the same time

Was not in the mood to get into it on that thread but wow what a train wreck

Ugly

[redqueen]

11. What a sad, revealing situation, when people would rather discuss ways the victim is to blame

Than discuss rape culture.

[wryter2000]

12. This part gets to the issue of rape being a culture best to me.

When women talk about men as potential rapists, they’re not saying all men are animals who will commit rape at the slightest opportunity; they’re pointing out that because rape is so widespread, and because the perpetrators are so often “normal-looking” men, frequently friends and family, it creates an atmosphere of distrust and fear. Heck, doesn’t the fact that we focus prevention efforts almost exclusively on women essentially require women to treat all men as potential rapists?

Women live in a world where any time they're in the presence of a man (unless he's already proven himself trustworthy), they have to worry about being assaulted.

[Hydra]

13. I think it's linked to the bullying/sexual assault/hazing in schools

Society tacitly approves of people who show dominance, bully and take- these are supposedly successful people in the making. Rape/violence culture is so widespread that it can't be an accident.

My question on this is simple- why is "No!" such a hard word to understand?

[Tumbulu]

14. And why is being "dominant"

Considered to be the goal? This idea that women, in order to be treated as equals, must demonstrate equal dominance is a huge mistake in the path of feminism in this culture. I want to see sensitivity, poise, consideration and generosity rewarded more than the "grab what you can" attitude.

I agree with your points.

[Hydra]

18. I think it's because we emphasize competition and "winning" as the highest virtues

The start contrast is the Ubuntu concept that gets posted here occasionally as a reminder- that cooperation and sharing leads to a better community and happier people while competition is about individualizing people and creating either no group or a group dominated by a person or small group.

I'd like to see the virtues you mentioned become something we strive for- if we did, I think we'd see a lot of the hateful things stop.

[redqueen]

16. The acceptance of power/dominance hierarchies is a huge problem.

It's also the basic structure of our society. We still haven't overcome our tendency to follow leaders.

[KitSileya]

15. Rape culture is ....

Rape culture is when most women form plans and decide behavior with the risk of rape as a (major) factor. Not going to a party because you would have to take public transport home. Not buying a flat at the ground floor because you prefer to sleep with the window open. Not accepting evening shift, even tho it pays better, because you would have to lock up the premises alone post-shift. Not letting your teenage daughter go where she wants because she would be in risky situations, but letting your teenage son go because while you trust him, you don't trust others around her. Not going to PAX/with friends to hear a stand-up comedian/watching certain movies/tuning in to certain radio stations that play specific kinds of music - getting triggered by rape jokes is so déclassé.

I could continue the list of things women do or don't do for quite a while, but I'm sure you've got the point. I see the discussion at the blog post quickly devolved into 'But what about the men?' that it so often does. I am so sick and tired of men (ooops, forgot I have to qualify it with *some * men, otherwise men will feel attacked) feeling like they're being attacked when we point out reality, instead of asking 'what can we do to change this reality?'

[redqueen]

17. One encouraging sign is that among younger men

it seems there are fewer who interpret such discussions as being personal attacks or attacks on all men.