How I Came To Love Metrosexual And Hipster Men

[ismnotwasm]

(This is a very cute and interesting article about gender identity and the authors evolving feminism. Her 'point' system for the 'masculinity' of men was a LOL for me)

“So,” I told myself. “So you’re dating a metrosexual.”

At first, still enchanted by the tight jeans and hair gel, I felt like a pioneer. I was a woman dating a “New Man.” I considered myself an open-minded person. I took one undergraduate course in gender and sexuality; I knew that gender was fluid. Why should it matter how masculine your partner is if you like him? But after a couple months of adding points for bravado and subtracting for his account at Banana Republic, I realized that it did matter. At least a little. It bothered me that people assumed my boyfriend was gay.


Later, when I fell head over heels for a guy named Steve, I found myself subtracting points when he, like all the others, exhibited feminine traits. Like Travis, Steve was into fashion. This time it was studded belts instead of Banana sweaters, and ironic T-shirts instead of designer jeans, but the principle was the same. My suspicions were validated on that embarrassing day when Steve met my family for the first time. He showed up wearing his skinny jeans, tight T-shirt, and a bandana tied in a peculiar fashion around his neck. Minus five. When my not-usually-so-insensitive brother told me that Steve “looked gay” after the game, I felt ashamed. On top of that, I felt ashamed for feeling ashamed. Right there, drowning in that pool of shame, I concluded that I, the straightest girl in the world, was dating a metrosexual, again.

I was wrong. Steve wasn’t a metrosexual; he was a hipster. It was 2007 and hipsterdom was just blossoming in the uber-hip neighborhoods of New York and San Francisco. If the “metrosexual” was a guy who embraced his feminine side, the “hipster” was a guy who wasn’t fussed about traditional expectations of gender. After I moved to Boston in 2009 and started hanging out in the hipster neighborhood of Allston Village where I saw more and more of my peers sporting skinny jeans, hoodies, and unisex hairstyles, gender roles began to feel less important.

Over the next four years, I realized that rugged, angular bodies, machismo and facial hair—the masculine qualities I found so attractive—could still be found in men who were emotional and cared about their appearance. And as I began to date men who were open about their feelings and who were not embarrassed or concerned with “looking gay,” a subtle shift began to take place in me. Somewhere down the line, I stopped counting. Feminine traits no longer felt like flaws. I also began to notice some of the “masculine” traits I so loved in my female friends, and even in myself.

http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/details/2013-05-how-i-came-to-love-metrosexual-and-hipster-men

[JustAnotherGen]

1. That is really cute

Thanks!

[seabeyond]

2. While other men ran with a tight, powerful gait, Travis flounced.

this made me laugh. i just know it.

i am bookmarking for oldest son. he will get into this. he analysis and over analysis some more. this will be food for thought, for him.

good article. thanks.