Male Gender Role

[seabeyond]

Some researchers have also tried to explore whether there is a "universal masculine" gender role, that can be seen in all cultures during all times. This proves to be quite difficult, but there are several types of social roles that have been highlighted (Gregor, 1985). Specifically, those are:

(1) Provider: Secure and provide resources
(2) Protector: Defend others and territory

Other researchers examine larger cultural trends of male gender roles. Some notable work on this includes Levant et al (1992), who summarized traditional (hegemonic) American masculinity into seven principles. It is important to note that although these are a general trajectory for many men, that there are many different configurations of expression of these depending on individual and sub-cultural differences.

(1) restrict emotions
(2) avoid being feminine
(3) focus on toughness and aggression
(4) be self-reliant
(5) make achievement the top priority
(6) be non-relational
(7) objectify sex
(8) be homophobic

Another popular structuring of this was by David & Brannon (1976), who described the four standards of the traditional American masculinity:

(1) “no sissy stuff”
Distance self from femininity, homophobia, avoid emotions
(2) “be a big wheel”
Strive for achievement and success, focus on competition
(3) “be a sturdy oak”
Avoid vulnerability, stay composed and in control, be tough
(4) “give em hell”
Act aggressively to become dominant

http://www.psychologyofmen.org/index.php?itemid=6

___________________________

i found this interesting. of course we have talked about this often. but, i was thinking about this. womens gender role to femininity. how many of you women have shed this "role" of femininity. i am what i am. i cannot say that i hold any role necessarily, in femininity. you could list of the roles i am suppose to play in order to be a woman, and probably most all i would say.... meh. lol. not gonna happen. i do not want to. and i am perfectly woman. (hear me roar, ). i get to be free, i tell you, free. and it feels so good. i want all to be able to feel and know that freedom. i do not think the pressure of following the dictate of gender role really behooves any of us, within ourselves. i know we think there is a reward, but, having been freed for so longer, i am no longer having any memory of what that reward could possibly be compared to freedom of authentic self.

[MadrasT]

1. I think it is interesting.

It is interesting to me that the whole idea of what a "woman" is supposed to be has so completely alienated me that I refuse to even wear the label and identify as "non-gendered".

I am not content viewing myself as a "non traditional" woman... I am female bodied but I am not a woman, period.

A lot of that has to do with my core horror at the idea of being pregnant and bearing and raising children. Can't even comprehend myself in that role.

And then I worry that maybe means I am essentially a complete misogynist? But I don't dislike women, I just don't recognize myself as being one.

Thinking about gender makes my head spin.

[Seeking Serenity]

2. One part of the OP lept at me

(3) “be a sturdy oak”
Avoid vulnerability, stay composed and in control, be tough

This caused a real problem in a friend of mine's marriage. And I think to the extent that men AND women expect this, it can be real damaging.

You see, it was my friend (who has security/abandonment issues) who insisted that her (now ex-)husband fill that role. In her mind, he was not allowed to show any vulnerability, anything other than rock-solidness, and when he did show a vulnerability, any kind of presumed weakness, it caused her to feel insecure, and she acted out in a very passive-aggressive manner toward him. That hurt him to no end (and was one of the causes of his leaving her).

We do our men no favors when we insist (actively or subconsciously) that they have emotions and show them, and then punish them for not being a "sturdy oak" when they do.

I, as a woman, am firmly of the belief that women bear a lot of the responsibility for the dysfunction in men nowadays. It's like we give them mixed, sometimes mutually exclusive, messages about what it is to be a man in today's world, and how they should be and what we want from them.

[Sheldon Cooper]

3. Instead of holding women largely responsible for the alleged "dysfunction in men nowadays",

why don't you examine the role of the patriarchy?

[One_Life_To_Give]

6. Brene Brown on Shame

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html
You can skip up to about the 16min mark for the parts about men, roles, shame etc.

You know, and so, I've come to this belief that, if you show me a woman who can sit with a man in real vulnerability, in deep fear, and be with him in it, I will show you a woman who, A, has done her work and, B, does not derive her power from that man. And if you show me a man who can sit with a woman in deep struggle and vulnerability and not try to fix it, but just hear her and be with her and hold space for it, I'll show you a guy who's done his work and a man who doesn't derive his power from controlling and fixing everything.

For me the take away is that "We" need to do this work. Men and women have been conditioned to act in ways that are detrimental to us all around.

[redqueen]

4. The reward is in acceptance and positive feedback...

from 'traditional' (i.e. backward) individuals of either sex, institutions, etc.

[Arcanetrance]

5. My girlfriend and I shrug off the supposed gender roles and it's actually amusing to see others

reaction. My girlfriend is a long haul trucker and I'm a chef I love to cook where my girlfriend hates it. The really amusing thing is she's taken me out with her a couple times and the looks we get are amusing. Especially since she's 5'2 and tiny and I'm 6 foot and built like a linebacker. I think everyone should challenge what is said to be their assigned roles I think they'd find they enjoy life more cause they'd finally be happy.

[ismnotwasm]

7. Well

Last edited Fri Apr 12, 2013, 01:13 PM - Edit history (2)

I'm the 'breadwinner'; I'm assertive/aggressive, I tend to not cry, I'm analytic rather than emotional, men and women that are good friends consider me 'tough'---(as opposed to what I think? The fucking vapors?) I'll cuss people out or call them out in a heartbeat if they cross personal boundaries (if that's what it takes, and also why I'm very careful on-line, 'cause I can let it OUT sister) I've never been depressed in my life (which isn't actually a male or female specific condition) I like comic books and Sci Fi and science.

I'm not particularly maternal. I don't 'love' babies, (all these new grand kids that suddenly started appearing a couple of years back now have personalities, thank god)
I refuse to go to all wedding showers, baby showers and actual weddings-- but that's out of selfishness, I find them banal and excruciatingly boring. I rarely 'cook'

On the other hand I work in the traditionally women's field of nursing, I have a strong sense of altruism, I have empathy for the 'underdogs' of life. I wear skirts sometimes. I have long, curly hair. (Is your hair naturally curly? I get asked, like, every other day--Yes i say, thinking I should tell them yes, but I don't use a brush or comb or 'product'--shudder-- on it) I hate--I mean I really despise driving so my husband drives me everywhere.

So I follow my gender muse and check myself for patriarchy contamination frequently. It's there of course, but I keep a handle on it. So I'm free to be.... Me.

[redqueen]

8. "... check myself for patriarchy contamination frequently."

That's a great way to put it...

And it's something we should all do.

[Stargleamer]

9. "Gender hurts" -- Catharine MacKinnon n/t