This one is just for the laughs

[ismnotwasm]

Men of Reddit List All the Ways Women Fail to Sexually Please Them


You'll never be good enough for the guy anonymously talking shit about your appearance from behind his computer.
By Jessica Roy 4/03 2:01pm

It’s impossible to say how frequently the question appears on AskReddit, but we’d venture to guess some version of “Men of Reddit, how do ladies sexually disappoint you?” crops up at least once every couple of months.

Last night a thread called “Men of reddit, what is something that women think turns men on, but in reality does nothing for you?” hit the front page. This time the topic was started by a female Reddit user, who seemed genuinely curious to know how she can better turn guys on.

Unfortunately, because many parts of Reddit can be a rather hostile place for women–not unlike the Internet at large–the thread quickly devolved from a casual discussion about sex into a laundry list of things women do that annoy male Redditors. The result reads like a lunch conversation between a couple of virgin 10th graders, parroting stereotypes they lifted from TV and video games.

As it turns out, their list of turn-offs is almost enough to fill an entire issue of Cosmo.

Don’t be too smart or too dumb; don’t you dare act interested in anything a Redditor might like unless you’re a super hardcore fan; don’t dress or act like a slut, but also don’t act “innocent;” don’t wear makeup or fake tan or have large breasts; don’t play hard to get but don’t be “easy;” don’t twirl your hair or have fake eyelashes or have big boobs. Don’t give hand****, but also don’t give toothy blow****.

There has never been anything more Reddit than this Reddit thread. Congrats to all.


http://betabeat.com/2013/04/men-of-reddit-list-all-the-ways-women-fail-to-sexually-please-them/

*snort--snicker-- spurt giggle--BWaHaHaHaha--thumps table--Bwahahahahaha(wipes tears of laughter)

Who the FUCK would possibly want to 'sexually please' a Redditt asswipe? Especially after this?

The only possible solution is a blow up doll.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_doll

[BainsBane]

1. Why can't I have large breasts?

I knew I wasn't supposed to be smart, give toothy head, or disagree with anything, but large breasts not being acceptable is a new one to me. Now I'm supposed to get them cut off? It's so hard to keep up.

[ismnotwasm]

3. Probably because there are so many men who admire large breasts

Our sensitive Redditers are frightened of Not Measuring Up on the super duper secret manly man scale, therefore reject them before the breasts, who I'm sure have obtained some sort of sentience in their eyes, because a woman isn't a whole person, just a collection of parts and orifices, reject them.









Or, they have Mommy issues.

[BainsBane]

6. makes sense

So relieved I don't have to mutilate myself.

[ismnotwasm]

8. Yes.

Pleasing Redditers can be challenging. Ahem. Clearly.

[Helen Reddy]

12. 3 snaps! n/t

[seabeyond]

15. or they have.... lmao. no really, giggle. lol. nt

[seabeyond]

14. lol lol. i hear ya woman. thought all were suppose to be large, per the tit thread and evo psych.

i had to re read that a couple times.

[MadrasT]

2. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahaha

Oh geez Louise I am dyin' over here



Thanks I needed that.

[ismnotwasm]

7. ..

[Squinch]

4. Most popular answer: "They NEVER go out with me. Never." They are sad and perplexed by this.

[ismnotwasm]

5. We need an ouchie sticker.

See sad Reditter, ooh, poor boo.

[seabeyond]

16. lol. and they are suppose to. all of media told me the cheerleader really wanted me. edit to add

loved the ouchie.

[Squinch]

23. The media AND their mothers. So it must be true!

[boston bean]

9. I went over to the reddit site

and it was all about hand jobs. The entire first page. Stopped reading after that.

notice that not one of the thing listed is not what a woman can do, it's what she shouldn't do, or what she shouldn't be.

If someone were to ask me what a man could do to turn me on, it would be having meaningful, respectful.....













































conversations.

[BainsBane]

10. the average age must be 15

at least mentally, but it does make me wonder if I might not know some reddiots.

[ismnotwasm]

11. Things that make you go hmmm

As the old pop song said.

[seabeyond]

17. there only experience is handjobs. their own hand, but hand none the less. lol nt

[geek tragedy]

22. High school friend of mine was complaining (about

a decade into the marriage) that his wife just didn't seem up to certain acts anymore, and what could he do about it.

I was like "maybe dedicate several more hours each week to helping with the kids, keeping the home semi-tidy and orderly, and in general helping her feel relaxed and appreciated on a regular basis. Because the last thing she needs is another set of 'asks.'"

Apparently such things are not obvious.

[seabeyond]

13. actually, i was sittin with hubby when opened this. immediately did a burst out laugh.

closed the thread and came back to it later, lol

that is funny

[niyad]

18. is there some place over in reddit where women can talk about what men can, or should not, do

for them sexually? or how men fail to please them sexually? bet that would make for some interesting reading.

[ismnotwasm]

19. You know that is a pet peeve of mine

While women are questioned about fantasies, quite often, which are then are promptly misinterpreted to be desire, i.e. women LIKE dominance, ala 50 Shades, women WANT to be controlled, yes to the point of rape and so on.

Actually questioning women what their sexual experiences are, (this is anecdotal from from friends specializing in women's health, I'll try to find a study later on--they do exist) you find a surprising number of women still faking orgasms, and still with difficulty articulating what they do want/like sexually with their (male) partner. I don't know if the same holds true for Gay women.

So a place where women felt safe enough to move away from fantasy to technique, and sexual preferences WOULD be interesting. For instance, I know that performing Kegals exercises can assist with intensifing orgasm, as well as stenghthening the pelvic floor, and so are a good thing to do for both reasons. To this day, I meet women who have only a vague idea what they are.

The clitoral compound has been mapped recently (a WTF moment for me; what do they mean they just NOW bothered?)and is over a much larger area, not all of it sexually stimulating it is thought, but we don't know now do we? And I beg to differ anyway.

Untypical erogenous (by that I mean not breasts and perineum) like the nape of the neck or the lower back or even hands or feet, would vary from women to women, but do we talk about it? And is there even any safe place to do so?

[redqueen]

25. A few years ago I was on a different board discussing the clitoral compound, and

how it was only typical that women's health would be neglected (heart attacks, anyone?)

I've had such discussions as you describe with so many people, in so many settings. It is always so hard to chip through the idea of female sexuality as entertainment/performance. You always start out with at least some of that going on, often thats all there is. But eventually, and this is easier if there are no men present, there is a kind of dawning awareness that so much has been missing. Seeing so much of the performance of 'feminine' sexuality has basically robbed women of their own sexual awareness. Many start seeing through the ruse at some point, but many others never do. Women who are so out of touch with their own sexuality that its heartbreaking, knowing they've seen male sexuality served up on a silver platter all their lives.

Another thing, a funny thing actually, is when men are present and can't help but keep insisting on discussing the myths of female sexuality. Things like 'squirting' which porn has convinced them to think is an actual thing (as opposed to ejaculation, which is scant)... or ranting about how much better women have it, with our amazing orgasms... like clockwork, it is.

[ismnotwasm]

26. Squirting is big porn money.

And how stupid do you have to be not be be able to tell female ejaculate vs. PEE?

I understand how an intense orgasm could release urine, but those 'squirting' videos are from someone who drank a bunch of water or coffee and waited too long.


Yeah, if you leave men out of the discussion you get much more honest answers. So many women, are ashamed I think of their own sexuality. Men are as well, but porn is a Big outlet for shame based sex, and porn is everywhere. The women who enjoy porn seem to use it as a 'how to' guide.

[redqueen]

27. Haha I know, right?

You'd be surprised at how many men reacted so angrily when presented with evidence that their precious porn wasn't actually depicting a real thing. (And this after all the swearing that they totally recognized that porn depicts fantasy and that they could separate that fantasy from reality...LOL)

[niyad]

28. whenever I hear "faking orgasms", I remember the scene in "when harry met sally"--one of my

all-time favourites. "I'll have what SHE'S having" (my favourite line in the film).

I think the book "our bodies, ourselves" did a lot to help educate women, but clearly, so much more needs to be done. and certainly, the doctors and researchers need to be educated--I had one idiot gyn tell me women could not experience vaginal pain. I offered to see if that was true of his dick as well.

[geek tragedy]

20. #1 sign that makes a man a bad lover:

he spends a lot of time on Reddit.

[ismnotwasm]

21. Clearly.

Heh.

[Squinch]

24. Baahahahahaha!!!!