What you hear on the Internet about sexism

[BainsBane]

"Mr “Oh my god calm down it was a joke” Everyone knows if you tack “lol” onto the end of a sentence, no one can get mad at you because you were being hilarious, and if anyone gets offended they’re being an uptight prick. You truly are the George Carlin
of our time.

• Miss Validator. “I’m a girl, and I think this is HILARIOUS. Calm down feminists!” Watch as everyone in the thread uses her as yet another reason why you are stupid and oversensitive and they are hilarious and right. May also “apologise for her gender” in a cosmic blast of internalised misogyny.

• Mr “I refuse to believe this happens”. He would never cat call or rape and isn’t sexist at all and thinks gender roles are outmoded. Therefore, he thinks, everyone else thinks just like me too. Can’t line up women’s experiences of sexism with his own worldview, so dismisses everything they say,demanding “proof”. Sees no irony in this.

• Mr “actually you’ve got this the wrong way round”. Silly you! This is looks, feels, smells and tastes like misogyny but is actually misandry. Don’t worry, easy mistake to make, anyone could have done it. Just don’t say I’m wrong or I’ll link you to pages explaining why you have female privilege and call you an ignorant b***h. "

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt219676.html

Sound familiar?

[seabeyond]

1. i was recording getting to two. looks fun. will be back in a moment and read the whole. nt

[Helen Reddy]

2. Good Thread BainsBane!

Kick and Rec.!

[BainsBane]

3. I find Ms. Validator particularly interesting

I find myself wondering what prompts these women to side with men against sexism. Then I wonder if these are the same women we have all met in our lives who just don't like other women. In any group conversation, they direct all their attention toward men, belittle other women, and have few if any female friends.

[seabeyond]

4. what mom buys her son a stripper? i see it kinda like that. they want to be liked. at the expense

of whomever. even if it is selling out, or not their job to be "friends" but a parent.

[BainsBane]

5. but they want to be liked by MEN

not women, or so it seems.

[seabeyond]

6. oh, absolutely. i think it was steinem that said it so well. i will get it if i can find it.

Last edited Mon Feb 25, 2013, 01:10 AM - Edit history (2)

it put it into wonderful perspective for me.

[BainsBane]

17. I just found out

that these same women congregate in the men's group. Wow. My head is spinning.

[seabeyond]

7. here it is

Because all these situations have made me wonder why is there no sense of female sisterhood, no sense of women speaking up for other women? Where is all the conflict and contention coming from? Recently, in an interview with the Observer, Gloria Steinem explained her thoughts on why people so often complain that groups of women can be catty, “do women compete for the favors of men? Yes. They’ve spent 5,000 years competing. It is true of any subordinated group. But once you get a sense of possibilities and shared experience, it becomes the most powerful community. I see a form of it when I travel. I’ll be walking through an airport, say, and my plane will be four hours late, and a woman cleaner will say: ‘Here, take these magazines I’ve collected’, or: ‘When I’m tired, I sleep in the closet over there. Would you like to use it?’ It’s the same with the flight attendants. It’s a floating community.”

So it seems that women, just as other oppressed groups, often perpetuate the same prejudicial thoughts or behavior that they’ve experienced in a way to separate themselves from the oppressed group and be accepted as part of the positive majority. Competition is formed in order to be ingratiated to those in positions of power or those seen as possessing positive characteristics. And yet, Steinem explains, when an opportunity is created for the sharing of experiences, a sense of community emerges. A sense of sisterhood, if you will.

I admit, I’ve had my own problems with the notion of sisterhood. It always seemed like this sense of camaraderie between women was based upon some opposition to men (granted that was probably a very ill conceived notion of sisterhood but it’s the one I understood). But in thinking about it now this sense of sisterhood is important in that it should lead us to a greater sense of community, which in turn leads us to a better understanding of the oneness of humanity as a whole. It might just be a first step. If women can see other women as more than just these characteristics assigned to them by culture and tradition then we can use this same outlook towards men.

*
But in response to this pattern of behavior, of underestimating and insulting women, so endemic to our culture and perpetuated by both men and women, and by social structures and institutions, lets promote this idea of sisterhood (men can promote it too!). Let’s promote this idea that groups of women as well as individual women aren’t dramatic, catty, manipulative gossips. They are human beings endowed with the capacity to love, reason, understand, acquire knowledge and serve their community. Let’s move beyond stereotypical tropes that have been perpetuated and supported by years of subjugation, lets question cultural norms of thought and behavior, and let’s support each other in the process, as we move towards an understanding of the oneness of humanity.


http://engenderingequality.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/sisterhood/

[BainsBane]

8. Thanks Seabeyond

That's very helpful.

[Helen Reddy]

12. Yes! n/t You nailed it.

[smirkymonkey]

22. Those posts ESPECIALLY irritate me.

[geek tragedy]

18. The patriarchy is an ideology, and can be internalized by anyone.

My wife wrote a law school thesis on women who uphold the patriarchy. Unfortunately, I'm the one who's here to discuss it.

[hlthe2b]

9. The "Miss Validator" phenomenon is alive and well on DU

I doubt at least one or two of these are even female, but on an anonymous internet site, how can one know? Regardless, it isn't that women can not disagree, but when one of these "Miss Validators" eagerly steps forward to diminish the feelings of the majority of women by "granting" permission for blatant misogyny--well, my cup of contempt runneth over.

[seabeyond]

10. ah, the tell for me is when all the sexist code words are used in their post....

to tell us that sexist slurs do not exist.

it really just makes me laugh. so much of the arguments make me laugh.

and yes. posters are anonymous. we hear often from MRA that they use female roles just for this. it is not an unknown.

[seabeyond]

11. Mr “Welcome to the real world”. Sexism happens. Always has, always will. Mr EvoPsych!

Mr *totally unrelated point*.

Mr “I’m so not the problem here. Hello ladies.” ... STOP DOING THINGS I DON’T LIKE!


that is funny bains. and yes. we hear it all. repeatedly.

[redqueen]

13. K&fuckinR!!

[seabeyond]

14. thought this would fit. was sent to me, for a smile

[MadrasT]

15. Never dare to offend the white straight man.

All hell breaks loose.

For reals.

It's surreal.

[ismnotwasm]

16. And Mr. Or Ms. I'm so above you all

I float serenely and comfortably on my own methane gas, you bitter, bitter women. There's only 5 or 6 of you, after all.....

[sufrommich]

19. " Mr “Welcome to the real world”.

Yeah, I've seen every one of these examples on DU.

[seabeyond]

20. btw.. we get when using carlin to tell us to lighten up, it is a white male telling

those oppressed, right?

i do not know why so many hold him up as the one to listen to.

[ismnotwasm]

21. Oh, they don't listen to Carlin

Right before his 'rape can be funny skit' he went into musings about war, guns and and penis size. Don't hear about that one do we? Carlin was talented, he was appalled at those who were entitled and self serving. I saw skits later in his life that sounded bitter, and I thought 'what happened'.? He would have made a great feminist advocate, but his sexism was entrenched and his time was past. His philosophy was words have only the power society gives them, and one word shouldn't have power over another. Which is true, but how do you change society? With OTHER words. Or bloody revolution.

I think he would have preferred revolution.