sorry if it's getting old to some of you, but if it helps any new ones of you - female OR male, then I'll keep on posting it. (and yeah, revising a little so it's more coherent. The further away in time it becomes, the more clear I can be instead of just emotional.)
From previous years (and relationship)
Is it rape when a man wheedles and begs and pleads - and threatens - incessantly for hours, days unless the woman gives in and "has sex" even though she don't want to?
is it reasonable for a man, whose "significant other" for whatever reason (physical, emotional, psychological) is unable to freely have relations (at that point in time in her life), for him to go out and "get it" elsewhere? Is it HER fault? Is he justified because she won't give it up? Because, after all, men NEED to get laid, right? If he's not getting what he NEEDS from the relationship then it's okay for him to seek it elsewhere. However, if she's not getting what she needs from the relationship, it is NOT okay for her to seek it elsewhere, of course. and then he wants to come home and do it and godforbid you should be upset that he had sex with some stranger - hooker, stripper, whoever - and you KNOW he won't use a condom! Or possibly he did just go to the strip club, get all horny - and want to come home and "do it" with you 'cause he's all hot and bothered - and you know he's thinking about those strippers ('cause he likes to describe THEM while he's "doing" you . . . how - um - let's see - is flattered the word? How about HUMLIATING?!?!)
is it rape if he browbeats and threatens to leave if she doesn't do it? (And she's a stay-at-home mom with no job and he has all their savings in an account only he can get to) and frequently packs up his clothes in the car leaving the children crying please don't make daddy leave, cause of course he tells them it's mommy's fault he has to go so you give in and do it
is it rape if he er - "insists" that she have sex. as in - you know - you say NO - and he does it anyway.
is it rape if she wakes up to find that he's having sex with her?
is it rape if - after repeated incidents (wheedling, pleading, threatening, insulting, whining) she'll finally say - just do it. hurry up and get it over with. and just lays there and he does it and then he gets pissed because she didn't enjoy it? and she gets up and throws up and hides in the bathroom until he falls asleep?
when he's drunk. when he's mad. when's he sad. when he's happy. when he's BORED. sex sex sex sex sex sex. He's ENTITLED, right? And you're SUPPOSED to just DO IT 'cause what YOU want, doesn't matter a diddly damn.
Like it's the ONLY thing that matters. S-E-X. Forget the relationship. Forget feelings. Forget love. Forget family. Forget caring and nurturing and building and sharing and mutual respect.
If she feels like a blow up a doll, a piece of meat, if she feels like he doesn't give a DAMN about her or her feelings, if he's oh so very good at telling her how much he f'ing HATES her and how she ruined his gd life! but oh yeah, how about a blow, honey? C'mon, you know you want it. . .
When it's got to the point when he's drinking that she adds a little something to his beer so he'll please dear god fall asleep quickly. And he does on the couch and she leaves him there and goes to bed only to be awakened about 3 am by his pawing so she says she has to go to the bathroom and sits there in the dark using a towel as a blanket 'cause it's damn cold waiting waiting waiting for him to fall back asleep. And as she starts to walk back into the bedroom she realizes what the hell am I doing? if I go in there he'll just wake up now or in the morning and start in again, so she goes downstairs and sleeps on the couch. (she sleeps on the couch a lot.) And he wakes up the next morning confused a little bit but wants her to "bring him coffee". Don't worry about the kids, they're still asleep. So she makes sure to wake them up as soon as possible. But then he says, turn on the tv for 'em and lock the door and do me. simple.
And she gets to the point that she keep her kids in the house and won't let them go outside to play or to a friends house when he's home, because if he gets her alone, he's going to START. And won't stop until he's had his way. One way or another.
And then there's the night he chases you around the house threatening to f'ing kill you if you don't just f him and you wind up hiding behind a piece of furniture all night long in the middle of winter freezing because you're afraid to come out. And he can't find you and finally gives up and goes to bed. And you find out years later the kids heard him screaming he was going to kill you and they were afraid to come out of their rooms.
When you try and try and try to get him to understand that if he would just stop acting in such a manner, then maybe you could have normal relations at some point but as long as he acting the way he is, you just CAN'T - and he gets mad and calls you a frigid bitch and leaves for the strip club. And then comes home and wants it 'cause - well he was at the strip club and he's all h-rny so you should just DO IT whether you FING WANT TO OR NOT!
Begging, pleading, wheedling, threatening, crying, storming out, coming back, yelling, screaming, name-calling . . . until she "gives in".
Tell me, please, is it rape?
= new reply since forum marked as read
