Banks Preparing for "Unavoidable Crash" in 2016, "Feel Pretty Good"

[EEO]

Banks Preparing for "Unavoidable Crash" in 2016, "Feel Pretty Good"
Source: The Nil Admirari

::SNIP::

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Wall Street informed America today there will be an "unavoidable crash" of the stock market in 2016. The nation's financial institutions were represented by Jamie Dimon - chairman, president, and chief executive officer of JPMorgan Chase - during a late afternoon press conference.

"We feel pretty good about the 2016 crash and will make out like bandits again," said Dimon.

[leveymg]

1. Every eight years the victims have to pay restitution.

[jakeXT]

2. A non satire one: Banks Prep Defense for Anti-Wall Street Campaigns

WASHINGTON—Top executives from the biggest U.S. banks, concerned about anti-Wall Street rhetoric already bubbling up on the 2016 campaign trail, are working to push back against the prevailing narrative that banks are bad.

Senior executives from seven of the biggest U.S. banks gathered or dialed into a March 31 meeting on the 51st floor of the Bank of America Tower in New York to discuss the upcoming election cycle and how the firms can counteract what they view as false and damaging statements about large banks, according to emails reviewed by The Wall Street Journal and people familiar with the meeting.

The effort underscores the degree to which Wall Street remains a political punching bag and a source of anger among lawmakers and the public nearly seven years after the financial crisis. Already, several presidential candidates have lobbed criticism at Wall Street and directly attacked big banks and Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D., Mass) continues to exert pressure, warning about big banks’ efforts to roll back financial regulations.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/banks-prep-defense-for-anti-wall-street-campaigns-1431336601

[Jackpine Radical]

3. Wow. The hapless, defenseless punching-bag banks.

They never meant anybody any harm. All they want is to be let alone. Let alone to suck up all the monetary value in the Universe. What's so wrong with that?

[AZ Progressive]

6. The gods of capitalism, as they see themselves, eh?

"We need to figure out what to do about the little people"

[libdem4life]

7. Was Hillary there? Just kidding...maybe.

[geek tragedy]

4. satire site. nt

[Michael_wood]

5. Crash that could rival 2008

You cannot time the stock market, but there are enough economic indicators to suggest the U.S. stock market will experience a major correction; one that could easily rival the crash of 2008.

Will the stock market crash in 2016? That’s a tough thing to predict. That said, there are more than enough leading economic indicators to suggest the stock markets will collapse in 2016. I’m not just talking about the 10% correction investors will shrug off; I’m talking about a crash that could rival 2008.