Proctologist Clears Huckabee and Santorum to Run for President

[EEO]

Proctologist Clears Huckabee and Santorum to Run for President
Source: The Nil Admirari

::SNIP::

DES MOINES, IOWA (The Nil Admirari): Earlier this afternoon Dr. Dean Backmann, a renowned Des Moines proctologist, announced he was clearing former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum to run for the GOP nomination for president. This announcement is viewed by many political observers as the last hurdle both Huckabee and Santorum needed to clear before deciding whether they would run in 2016.

::SNIP::

When asked which of the two were the most healthy Backmann said it was "a tough call." The doctor seemed to be carefully collecting his thoughts before elaborating on his answer.

"I don't know. Right off the bat, non-Christians are going to be deeply offended by both of their views. The same goes for moderate and liberal Christians who value civil rights," explained Backmann. The proctologist shrugged at the difficult assessment. "It's similar for scientists and anyone who respects acquiring knowledge through logical processes. Their positions on stem cell research, global warming, and environmental protection are comparably outrageous and mind-numbing."

::SNIP::

"Huckabee comes off as being the best genuine specimen where Santorum seems like he is trying way too hard to be the best," said Backmann before dismissively waving his right hand at the press. "It's really like comparing two buckets of slime against each other - a real crapshoot."

[AnnieBW]

1. Yep

Their heads are firmly up their asses!

[EEO]

2. Ha

They are two great guys...

[Quackers]

3. That's what you call a shity job. nt

[robdevo]

4. they've clearly been full of it for a while now

[blkmusclmachine]

5. The Groove Tube - Brown 25

[davidpdx]

6. The only thing they should be cleared for

is straight-jacket in a padded cell with a ball gag in their mouths for the rest of their life. Maybe a little electrocution three days a week for therapy.

[packman]

7. I remember my first proctology exam

After it I asked the doctor for a note saying I did not have my head up my ass to give to my wife. He replied that almost all his married male patients ask for the same note.
I wonder if the doc did find Huck's and Sandy's head up there.

[madinmaryland]

8. Actually there is a difference between the two buckets of slime...

Santorum's bucket is frothy!!