Dr Bornstein provides explanation for Trump's skin color and bitchiness
Dissociated Press: Donald Trump's gastroenterologist, Harold Bornstein announced he had solved the mystery of his famous patient's orangish hue and an explanation of why he goes after everybody "like a bitch." After top to bottom scopes of the corpulent codgers cavernous cavities (and cleaning up his own projectile vomiting), Dr. Bornstein called a press conference.
"This is the most jaundiced human being I have ever met," he said somberly. "There is literally nothing inside of Mr. Trump except a giant gall bladder producing gallons of bile and a twisted up colon generating more methane than an Oklahoma fracking operation. Other than those organs and dense pockets of dark hard stool, the man is totally gutless."
Bornstein said for some reason Trump could only execute excretory functions when large groups of people were willing to listen to him. "This campaign is the only thing keeping him from just exploding." Bornstein said, beginning to retch "And something else is eating him up inside but I couldn't stick around long enough to ...." Dr. Bornstein was not available for further questioning.
