FYI - I'll be leaving DU forever.

[brooklynite]

I coughed yesterday, and apparently that's a sign that you're on death's door, so I guess it's only a matter of time. Nice knowing you...

[Agschmid]

1. Later.

[treestar]

2. Yeah I cough a lot of days

I guess there is no way I can continue working.

[leftofcool]

3. Yea, I expect to kick the ole bucket sometime tomorrow.

Fucking ragweed!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. you have been speaking to my ghost for years

because i've had a cough for years.

[RockaFowler]

5. Oh NO!!

I woke up coughing this morning. It can't be!!!

Oh and my sinuses are killing me. I need a new nose already!

[niyad]

6. as long as you don't spread it to the rest of us!!

[randome]

7. "Sign, sign, everywhere a sign..."

[hr][font color="blue"][center]"If you're bored then you're boring." -Harvey Danger[/center][/font][hr]

[pscot]

8. I've had this cough for 3/4 of a century

I'm doomed!

[misterhighwasted]

9. My failure to recover from Mountain Cedar allergies last winter ..RIP

#StillCoughing

Question?
Will I still be coughing after I kick the bucket? I think the Newz said it can happen!

[okasha]

80. It's going to be just as bad this year,

with all the rain. Can you still do "pre-need planning" once the sneezing starts?

[misterhighwasted]

91. lol..I think I'm going to have to live with a filter-mask over my whole face

http://technabob.com/blog/2014/01/28/thankos-usb-pollen-mask/



The Thanko USB Pollen Mask sells for ¥3,980 (~$38 USD). Dignity sold separately.

[Spazito]

10. LOL!

[elleng]

11. Sorry, brooklyn!

Sounds like you may have spread it around!!!

(I've had similar 'problem' for a month or so, haven't until now commented on any of the 'chat' on the issue. It's a nuisance, but NOT life-threatening!)

[LAS14]

12. Cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough....

Excuse me. I guess I'm dying.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

13. you realize codeine does not work

All it does is mask the irritation without solving the underlying problem.

I'd suggest a nice Rose, Chablis, or a Merlot. Then you'd be having fun even though you still might cough.



Be grateful that you aren't in the military. Coughing at a doc's request takes on a whole new meaning.

[BootinUp]

14. Yeah1 You need a priest, fast%$^%$$@^#&

[misterhighwasted]

25. Haaaahaaa..

Oh lord that is funny!

[sarae]

15. Oh no!

How long do you think you have – longer than Hillary or...?

[LittleGirl]

16. I've been hacking for 3 weeks

and I've had enough of this shit. It's getting better but fall allergies are the worst!

[Godhumor]

17. I already died from my cough. All my posts now are ghost-written

*cymbal crash, sad trombone"

[No Vested Interest]

18. I keep a few lozenges handy for when the throat gets dry.

They help moisten the throat as needed.
And I'm senior in years to Sec. Clinton.
Coughs happen.

[BlueMTexpat]

88. +1!

I ALWAYS have lozenges on hand, especially when I have to speak a lot. Thank heavens for that!

Based on my coughing alone, I should have died at least 50 years ago.

[sheshe2]

19. Peace be with you my child.

[dbackjon]

20. I have the sniffles. Allergies. I probably won't make it to lunch

[Dr Hobbitstein]

21. You are probably already dead by now. RIP.

Coughs are no joke. My cousin coughed once, then he fell down dead.

[TheCowsCameHome]

22. Give Phyllis Schlafly whatever it is you have.

......Just to be sure she doesn't come back.

[niyad]

96. you nearly owed me a keyboard

[GulfCoast66]

23. Shit...

I tripped in the garage last week. Your post helped me put it all together.

I should let my wife know.

[riversedge]

24. OMG. you scared me with that headline. Please

so not do that again. I would sincerely miss you.

[calimary]

26. Same here!

[HassleCat]

27. Before we let you leave...

We demand to see the original birth certificate!

[anneboleyn]

28. Everybody knows from movies that if you cough you are doomed!!! My movie medical degree

allows me -- and everyone else who has seen movies since they have movie medical degrees as well -- to diagnose a person as terminal if they cough. Every character in a film who starts coughing is doomed so I am certain this is very solid.

(I will note that the above is meant sarcastically just in case... Seriously it is ridiculous how movies ALWAYS telegraph that a character will be dying of some disease by having the actor start coughing)

I always notice that the Alex Jones conspiracy theories that Trump picks up like a conspiracy theory magpie junkie are almost always rooted in pop culture tropes that make stupid people (Jones devotees) feel like they are smarter than the "sheeple" and "on" to something. Coughing as a sign of terminal illness is such an overdone cliche in films. It makes perfect sense that Jones and now Trump latch onto a movie cliche to suggest that Hillary suffers from some secret catastrophic illness.

[PatSeg]

50. I know, I know

Drives me nuts. It is like people in the movies never get colds or allergies. A slight cough usually means they will be dead before the movie ends! And all the people around him/her who witness the cough have this knowing look as they realize their loved one is dying.

Oh well, Trump probably thinks he is in a movie or at least another reality TV show.

[msanthrope]

29. coughing to hard to type snarky reply.....nt

[SarasotaDem]

30. Laughing so hard

That it made me cough

[ErikJ]

31. In Norway they dont sell cough meds.

I was in Norway when I developed a bad cough. I had to g to a pharmacy an asked to get some cough syrup. THe pharmacist said they dont sell it. He told me to drink a lot of water. It worked.

[dlwickham]

64. do they sell Ricola?

[ErikJ]

72. You'd think so.

But the pharmacist didnt mention that so prob didnt sell lozenges either. But they have a weird retail system in Norway. Strange hours and separate stores for most stuff.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

32. Actually it's a sign that you didn't get out all of the seeds and stems.

[JustAnotherGen]

33. well played sir

[still_one]

34. nope, it doesn't qualify. You have to be a Democrat running for President, and covered by the sorry

excuse we have for the media in this country

[SunSeeker]

35. LOL

[tclambert]

36. Death is a feeble excuse.

[LisaM]

37. Sometimes when I get on the bus to go home, it makes me cough

I finally concluded I'm allergic to bus riders.

[Yallow]

38. RIP

[StrictlyRockers]

39. She coughed?!?!? It's the god damn ebola zika bird swine flu!!11!!!!

Run for your lives! We're all doomed! She coughed!!!!!!

[TexasProgresive]

40. I went to the doctor's and coughed.

He said I have a hernia. Guess I'm a gonner.

[Cryptoad]

41. Is this Satire or Sarcasm?

[Ccarmona]

42. What's disgusting

Is both @CNN & @NBCPolitics tweeted coughing fit tweets Monday. So much for the "liberal media" which has always been a hoax perpetrated by the Right and has stuck like honey.

[Maru Kitteh]

43. I have a backache today. Clearly we may infer that my cerebral-spinal system is compromised.

And I am likely to lapse into coma at any moment.

brooklynite, it has been a pleasure.

If by some great chance you should survive, I hope you will continue to carry on, and perhaps, if you wouldn't mind too much, take a bit of time to tell the others how very much I cared.

[BumRushDaShow]

44. Click bait.

[mcar]

45. My eyes are itchy and swollen

Botulism, perhaps?

[shenmue]

83. Yipes

[Phlem]

46. But the fun's just getting started!

[Hortensis]

47. Sorry to hear it, but would you please rescue a nation before taking to bed?

Thank you so much.

[synergie]

48. I coughed and have an eye infection, am I a ghost?

[Historic NY]

49. I began coughing at the gym, then the kid next to me started....

its curtains I tell you.

[nolabear]

51. You're obviously covering something up by leaving.

[left-of-center2012]

52. I gag watching Trump. Uh oh! n/t

[Roland99]

53. My eyes have been watering like mad and I sneezed no less than 4 times today!

I think I have Ebola.


I watched a movie the other day that had a monkey in it. I know it's Ebola!

[randome]

55. Don't be ignorant. You obviously have the Zika virus.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]"If you're bored then you're boring." -Harvey Danger[/center][/font][hr]

[progressoid]

54. My wife and I have been coughing for 5 days!!! We're already deceased.

[TexasTowelie]

57. I coughed too,

but I also have over 100,000 bong hits under the hood.

[underpants]

58. So you're only MOSTLY dead

Go see Miracle Max

[KrazyinKS]

59. id not sound like a serious cough to me-

I heard no congestion and she was not gasping for air. I have heard a lot of that , not an expert- but I have heard some bad coughs in my day. That was not one of them.

[greatauntoftriplets]

60. I've been coughing since allergy season started.

Even though I know there is obviously no connection between the two events (because how could any explanation be so simple), I guess that I am posting this from the grave.

[ananda]

61. LOL

I haven't coughed yet this week, but I blew my nose a few times.

I think I need to see a specialist .. a BSPHD.

[Loki]

62. I sneeze at least 5 times in a row

I'm surely ready for last rites.

[dlwickham]

63. I had a headache yesterday

I guess I should schedule that MRI to confirm my brain cancer

[bigwillq]

65. Bye, Felicia!

:cough:




Please note:
I am responding to a joke post with a joke.
I always say "Bye, Felicia" whenever anyone says they are leaving DU, whether it's a joke goodbye thread or not.

[JHB]

66. Just avoid Doctor Donald's Trump-tacular Tonic...

...and you'll be fine.

[awoke_in_2003]

67. I had better tend to my bucket list

#1 Buy a bucket to kick

[Laser102]

68. Yes. A cough is a serious sign of, dry throat, allergies, clearing ones throat, all fatal. lol

[skylucy]

69. cough cough cah cah

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here....

It is so obvious that Hillary's cough is coming from her throat (NOT HER LUNGS) and is just an allergic reaction to pollen or dry airplane air or perhaps just a simple acid reflux irritation... It is also so obvious that Trumps words are coming directly from his ass (i.e. pulled from there)

[genxlib]

70. I will pray for you...

And take it as proof of a miracle when you are still around next week

[Rex]

71. It is rather amusing watching the Cons grasp at straws; first it is emails, then her health

then her charity donations...round and round they go!

[uriel1972]

78. Charity donations?

Seriously, they criticised her for charity donations? That's just plain... I don't know where to start.

[stonecutter357]

73. where is my trigger warning

[Beartracks]

74. The local news radio (cough) did an election (cough) roundup...

... this morning. It's a little thing they do with audio clips from the campaign trail. It pretty much went something like this:

Start Segment===============

TRUMP: "Wall jobs great again..." *

HILLARY: "I'm allergic (cough)(cough) to Trump."

TRUMP: "I'm going to bring you people jobs!!!11!"

HILLARY: "He's not (cough) going to bring you jobs (cough)(cough)..."

TRUMP: "The best words border great wall great..." *

HILLARY" "I think America (cough)(cough)(cough)..."

TRUMP: "She's really not that energetic, like I used to say about Jeb Bush. I'm not sure she could've gone to Mexico, like *I* did."

HILLARY: &quot cough)(cough)(cough)..."

End Segment===============


* I don't recall the sound bite. It just kinds sounded like Blah blah blah. LOL




In case you were wondering, the station is a FOX affiliate.

====================================

[Feeling the Bern]

75. I sneezed and blew my nose. I'm on death's door.

[reACTIONary]

76. All well and good, but what about your EMAIL?!? nt

[Cary]

77. Oh, the humanity!

[Bettie]

79. I sneezed today

I'm pretty sure it is bubonic plague.

Or a head cold. Or allergies.

But, I'll probably be dead pretty soon.

[Kablooie]

81. Already lying in your coughin are ya?

[Coyotl]

82. That first cough is always the scariest one. Don't worry, some of us have coughed several times.

Hey, I know someone who coughed just to get the media to quit ignoring her completely.

[Akamai]

84. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Oops! ....

[akbacchus_BC]

85. Why? Did something annoy you?

[Rincewind]

86. The cough is ok,

as long as you have never sat on a pillow.

[BlueMTexpat]

87. My husband coughs - a lot -

EVERY day, generally to clear out his sinuses and right now, because it's ragweed season. He's 85 - still going strong - plays tennis 4x weekly and looks at least 10 years younger than he actually is.

I think both Hillary and you will be fine! If anyone can bounce up and down stairs the way she does - coughing fit or not - they're in great shape. She has been campaigning literally non-stop since the day she declared her candidacy.

[Buns_of_Fire]

89. PSA: A cough, by itself, is no real problem. HOWEVER...

it is a well-known fact that if you cough, fart, burp, sneeze, and hiccup all at the same time, you will explode. Just like the heroine in Love Story did (they edited out everything but the cough).

[Orrex]

90. Did you turn your head first?

That's important.

[heaven05]

92. oh no!

I'm dying? Everyday? Minute? Second? Damn and I thought I would live forever. Another lie to contend with.........

[George II]

93. That doesn't look very presidential.

[freebrew]

94. I never coughed until...

they killed Panama Red...

must be allergies>

[Akicita]

95. RIP!

[Divine Discontent]

97. Whew. Not really a GCW post

But yeah, I've read on the interwebs that you're unfit for the presidency because you are getting coughing fits... Awful. Just awful. So unpresidential looking!