2016 Postmortem
Related: About this forumMelania's Diary
It didnt work. Maybe I should have plagiarized all of Michelle Obamas Convention speech, or maybe I should have just repeated the words I love Hillary over and over again, but now Im feeling doomed. I wish I were back in Slovenia, modelling polyester cardigans and telling our goat, Someday, I will sail to America and marry a rich, handsome man. I should have listened when the cow, who was eavesdropping, said, Bloomberg.
Life is strange. For so many years, I assumed that when Donald would tell me that he wanted to be President he was just dreaming, like when he said that he wanted to be a real boy. But he kept saying it, even after Ivanka swatted him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
As a stepmom, I worry about Donalds older sons, who remind me of Teletubbies dressed up as eighties stockbrokers. I once asked Donald, With all your money, cant you buy those boys chins? Eric and Donald, Jr., love to go hunting in Africa and slaughter beautiful animals for sport. As I told my trainer, They keep trying to make their father notice them. But he still calls them Thing One and Thing Two.
Last week, I had brunch with Ivanka, and we stared at each other blankly until, finally, she said, When I made my speech, I just pretended I was talking about Hillary. Then she told me that shed converted to Judaism because Jews dont have Hell.
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/08/29/melanias-diary-by-paul-rudnick
liberalla
(9,249 posts)can't you buy those boys chins?
What is to become of me? If Donald wins, I will be forced to stand by his side for hours, playing that game where I count exit signs and imagine my real life is waiting behind one of them.
Last night I was so worried that I called Hillary and poured my heart out to her. She was very comforting and promised that she'd try her best to win, for my sake.
ghostsinthemachine
(3,569 posts)For me I havent seen her since the speech. She has threatened, sent tweets etc but I havent seen her in public.
HipChick
(25,485 posts)she's not allowed to speak or appear anymore...
liberalla
(9,249 posts)HipChick
(25,485 posts)but never Mrs Trump...apart from the disaster of a convention..
liberalla
(9,249 posts)If it had gone better, we probably would've seen more of her. I feel like she dreads playing that role, and would need lots of encouragement.
HipChick
(25,485 posts)grossproffit
(5,591 posts)Thanks for the giggles.
For those unfamiliar with its origin:
[youtube]
HipChick
(25,485 posts)grossproffit
(5,591 posts)randome
(34,845 posts)"I just wish he would wear that wig I bought him when he wants to be Meredith."
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Birds are territorial creatures.
The lyrics to the songbird's melodious trill go something like this:
"Stay out of my territory or I'll PECK YOUR GODDAMNED EYES OUT!"[/center][/font][hr]