GOP Announces Fall Line-up!!!
With summer reruns coming to an end, the Republicans have announced their new shows for the fall TV season. While sticking with the tried-and-true “hearings” format, the GOP will be introducing some exciting new topics to probe that will be just as expensive and pointless as their past productions have always proven to be.
Coming soon:
Hearing on Hillary Clinton’s tax returns. Why did she produce them, while the GOP nominee refused to? Exactly what is she trying to hide? Estimated cost to taxpayers for hearing - $4,000,000
Hearing on Hillary Clinton’s tax write-offs. Full investigation into the write-off of a $22.95 stapler under the category of “home office supplies”. Probing questions to be asked about why a new stapler was necessary, and who it was purchased from. Follow the money – who benefited from the sale? Estimated cost to taxpayers - $12,500,000
Hearing on Hillary Clinton’s production of a receipt for a $22.95 stapler. Is it legit? Was it created after-the-fact as a cover-up? Did the IRS fully investigate, or just allow the write-off because there is one set of tax rules for the 1% Oligarchs and another for the 99%? Estimated cost to taxpayers - $24,750,000
Hearing on Hillary Clinton’s use of a “private stapler”. Why did HRC not use a gov’t-supplied and approved stapler? Why should the fact that Colin Powell also used a private stapler be an acceptable exuse? Estimated cost to taxpayers - $48,360,000
Mid-season Special An in-depth look into how many people who used HRC’s stapler have died under mysterious circumstances. Was Vince Foster actually stapled to death? Did Clinton opponents really receive envelopes containing a single staple as a “warning”? The truth will SHOCK you!
Hearing on Hillary Clinton’s Goldman-Sachs speech transcripts. Did HRC reveal her ties to “Big Staple” in her "private speeches" - and if so, why was the public kept in the dark? Estimated cost to taxpayers - $130,800,000
Made-for-TV Movie: “HRC – The Woman Who Stole the Election” This docu-drama goes behind-the-scenes to disclose how millions of ballots cast for her opponent were stapled together in order to jam vote-counting machines across the country, giving her a bogus “win”. The film stars Scott “Chachi” Baio and Antonio Sabato, Jr.; directed by Clint Eastwood for Empty Chair Productions.
Hearing on whether Hillary Clinton committed perjury. Was HRC lying when she told the FBI that the emails she had turned over were delivered in single sheets because she had run out of staples? Hadn’t she just “allegedly” purchased a new stapler – and don’t most new staplers come with a box of free staples? Estimated cost to taxpayers - $1,200,000,000,000
Late-season FOX-News Special Report “How Hillary Clinton single-handedly destroyed millions of jobs in the paper-clip industry by promoting the interests of her biggest donor base, The Staplers”. (Unfortunately, Big Staple lobbyists refused to speak on-camera.)
End-of-Season Cliffhanger Will President Hillary Clinton be impeached due to her obvious ties to Big Staple? Show will include interviews with luminaries from the Spiral Notebook, Three-Ring Binder, and Duo-Tang industries – a shocking expose of the seedy underworld of paper attachment, and how it threatens the core of democracy as we know it.
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I am 
This is just perfect.
aw man, I can't BREATHE I'm laughing so hard!
I Love Your Posts.
Oh the humanity.
You are the best!!!
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I'll be able to watch these while blasting a blunt.
paid a price for this! 
Possible spin-offs:
Hearing on whether Hillary rigged the 2012 election of Barack Obama: Did Hillary use her stapler on the women in Romney's binders in exchange for Prez O's support in 2016? Big Staple and Big Binder lobbyists (of all hole-types) refuse to testify.
Hearing on whether Hillary used her stapler to practice witchcraft: Has Hillary used her stapler to cause 9-11 and every other misfortune in the US since her birth?
Thanks, I needed that.
No one does it better.
