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Make your inflections great again.
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a38403/how-to-sound-like-donald-trump/2.) Use the word "not" before any adjective and for bonus points, combined with Rule No. 1. "He is really, really a not smart person."
3.) Reference how many people have told you or asked you something. If they are not important, increase the number. If they are important, decrease the number, but note that they are either rich or important and are also a friend. "I have heard from hundreds of people that tell me that I dress very well." Or alternatively, "My friend, who happens to be a very famous fashion model, told me I dress very well."
4.) Add "I don't know, but that is what people are telling me," after Rule 3, especially if what you are saying is highly critical of someone. "Dozens of people have called me to tell me that Joe is really, really not an honest person. I don't know, but that is what people are telling me."
5.) Use this logic pattern in arguments: X is happening because of Y. When proven wrong that Y is not causing X, end your argument by confirming that "somebody is doing X." Example: "Women cause a lot of car accidents." When confronted with facts that undermine this statement, add the following: "Well, someone is causing those accidents."
3.) Reference how many people have told you or asked you something. If they are not important, increase the number. If they are important, decrease the number, but note that they are either rich or important and are also a friend. "I have heard from hundreds of people that tell me that I dress very well." Or alternatively, "My friend, who happens to be a very famous fashion model, told me I dress very well."
4.) Add "I don't know, but that is what people are telling me," after Rule 3, especially if what you are saying is highly critical of someone. "Dozens of people have called me to tell me that Joe is really, really not an honest person. I don't know, but that is what people are telling me."
5.) Use this logic pattern in arguments: X is happening because of Y. When proven wrong that Y is not causing X, end your argument by confirming that "somebody is doing X." Example: "Women cause a lot of car accidents." When confronted with facts that undermine this statement, add the following: "Well, someone is causing those accidents."
9.) Don't give details, but promise it will be "amazing." For example, when your boss comes into the office to question you on the progress of that memo that you haven't started, consider using this rule with Rule No. 6. "Oh the memo? It's going to be amazing. Believe me."
Follow these simple rules and you too will be speaking very, very, very not bad. Believe me.
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