Trump: Decision to Consider Women Humans Should Be Left to States

[L. Coyote]

Trump: Decision to Consider Women Humans Should Be Left to States

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Attempting to repair some of the fallout from his recent remarks about women, Donald Trump said on Sunday that the decision of whether women should be considered humans should be left to the states.

“I wouldn’t want to tell Texas whether women are humans, for example,” he said on CBS’s “Face the Nation.” “They obviously have some very strong opinions about that.”

When asked point-blank whether he considered women humans, the billionaire responded, “It should be a case-by-case thing.” ..............

[VulgarPoet]

1. Oh thank god, it's a satire column...

Way to nearly give me a goddamn heart attack, Coyote.

[L. Coyote]

2. Without a disclaimer, this is closer to a satire bomb. First your head expands, then

your gut explodes in laughter to relieve the intense pressure before your head explodes.

[VulgarPoet]

3. I keep forgetting Borowitz is a humor writer...

Might be because I don't see nearly enough of his work, though.

[L. Coyote]

4. I liked him on Facebook, so he is a constant on my newsfeed.

https://www.facebook.com/andyborowitz/

Also on Twitter @BorowitzReport, with half-a-million followers and a great, precautionary byline:
There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life.

[VulgarPoet]

8. Thank ya kindly!

Iunno what it is, but the Onion's just lost some of the magic it used to have for me-- I need a stellar satirist in my life. Satire typically drags me out of my own bullshit long enough to laugh, which might as well be just a big ass celestial on/off switch that hard resets the whole machine.

[Freddie]

5. The best satire

Is when it's so close to the truth you have to really think about it.
This qualifies.

[Skidmore]

7. No kidding.

My BP spiked. Jesu, it is utterly believable that he would say something like that...because he cherishes us so much.

[BumRushDaShow]

6. Friggin click-bait

I swear that when it comes to Drumpf, The Onion & Borowitz are non-fiction.