My teabagging sister in law has informed me..

[jcgoldie]

President Obama will be bringing in UN troops to take our guns and force us to marry gay people...

Is there any sort of timetable for this? I might have to clear some time for it this weekend...

...I hope my new husband has bigger boobs than my wife...

[gateley]

1. Seriously, what will these people do when none of this stuff happens?

[barnabas63]

5. I think they thrive on the "fear of....." more than anything.

Seems they like to be in a constant state of agitation and paranoia. Kind of sick, isn't it?

[codjh9]

27. Sick and crazy! Yes, I know some Repubs who don't trust ANYONE, and think there's

some evil conspiracy behind just about everything, and - sadly to me - don't even think anyone actually ever does a 'good deed' for its own merit - they only do it to get something for themselves. That's a pretty sick way to look at the world.

[Coyotl]

55. Maybe too many chemicals in the house cleaning closet?

Some people just need to clean the mind-altering chemicals out of the house and garage (and maybe the nightstand, yeah you Rush!).

[gkhouston]

92. Wasn't there some sort of study published in the last few years that said there's

a significant correlation between fearfulness and authoritarianism?

[ErikJ]

53. Case in Point: Beck's Conspiracy theories-has even ONE come true?

[lefthandedlefty]

65. I guess they still got 12/21/12 to look forward to

[Mad-in-Mo]

83. Prep for 12/21/12

[barnabas63]

2. Is that before or after he enslaves all the white people???

[Iris]

36. He's so diabolical, his evil plan will somehow do it all in one fatal swoop!

[barnabas63]

41. Damn! That is something!

[Moonwalk]

70. It's right after he forces us all to convert to Islam, but before he enslaves the white people...

Obama's list is pretty long and requires a strict timetable. You don't want to leave the guns in white people's hands, for example, before you enslave them or marry them to gays. That just wouldn't work.

[1StrongBlackMan]

3. LOL ...

...I hope my new husband has bigger boobs than my wife...

[Coyotl]

63. Just hope he does dishes

Focus on what really matters in a relationship

[1StrongBlackMan]

87. Loved that one, too ...

[Mojo2]

4. Can you tell me

what they are smoking or drinking....they need to pass some to me....sounds like a trip

[vlyons]

81. Naw, you don't want their shit

Just makes you have a baaaaddd trip.

[FSogol]

6. I can't hear you....I think there's a black helicopter outside....

[Diclotican]

76. FSogol

FSogol

Hm, isen't UN helicopters white?

Diclotican

[still_one]

7. actually tell you sister that agenda changed. and by the way, mention that we one by a mandate

[codjh9]

8. Those people are just about that crazy. I'll never understand where, or why, they come up

with this shit. The UN is a great example. What has the UN ever done that's 'BAD', AND, when has the UN ever tried to take over the US? When has any Democrat ever mentioned wanting the UN to take over the US? They're outta their f-ing minds.

[arcane1]

15. The UN can't even order lunch without US approval

[Coyotl]

61. They are still passing along mid-Fifties, red-baiting memes in parts of America.

I once took my urban partner to Mexico and then to my Midwest home town, deep in the middle of nowhere far away from freeway. In our little county seat, she commented, "This is just like Mexico." From her urban perspective, they were equidistant. Rural America suffers from Fifty Years of Solitude, but the new media world and the new, connected generation are altering that landscape, abbreviating how far in the past their part of the country lurks as they switch from Clear Channel to clarity.

[calico1]

9. Good!

I could use a wife. I am tired of cleaning up after myself and cooking when I don't want to.

[faithfulcitizen]

25. +1

[ffr]

10. She stands united with the uninformed

[renate]

33. just think how close we came to having people like her be happy last night

whew.

[GallopingGhost]

47. Every time I watch this video

I can't believe it all over again.

[Moostache]

62. That crazy white-haired skeleton scares me...but not 1/2 as much as the world scares her!

I picture her today as being in a fetal position, listening to Glenn Beck and worrying that black men are coming to take her away and make her have "teh gay"...its sad and the people that are praying on their fears should be (but won't) ashamed of themselves.

[Mockingjay]

79. Good grief...

These people need to see a shrink....they need shock therapy and a lobotomy. I hope to god they don't come anywhere near me, I'll baker act them for being mentally dangerous!!! We need more mental health care in this country!

[Dem2theMax]

90. And here I thought having migraines hurt.

Watching over eight minutes of pure stupid, now my migraines seem like nothing.
Oh my God. What is WRONG with these people?

[mzteaze]

11. Lol

Why do they all sound the same? Remember the lady from the Romney rally who said a drone follows her every time she leaves her house?

Mental illness is alive and under treated in this country without proper access to Obamacare. Believe that.

[Lex]

12. Also they will be replacing your Bible with the Koran, did you hear about that?

So full of ignorance and fear.

[arcane1]

13. The timetable: it was supposed to happen in 2009, when they started this paranoid fantasy.

Ask her how much $$ she is willing to bet on her prediction

[JHB]

24. No, it was supposed to happen in 1997 or 1998

The Big Dawg was supposed to invite blue-UN-helmeted Chinese troops.

Somehow, my Chinese vocabulary is still limited to "nihao" and some menu items.

[faithfulcitizen]

14. looks a lot like Facebook! LOL!

[Tutonic]

16. Is sister in law Michelle Bachman?

Saw part re: new husband with big boobs and pictured Marcus.

[DrToast]

17. I hope I get a good one

[malexand]

18. Fear, ignorance, & racism are a dangerous combination...

[central scrutinizer]

19. If Rmoney had won, they would be taking all our gay people and forcing us to marry our guns, nfm

[GallopingGhost]

44. LMFAO n/t

[ejbr]

50. Well, I would insist on one with a long barrel

[Filibuster Harry]

20. And she is QUALIFIED to vote???

[JHB]

21. It'll happen in 1998. So I was assured in 1996, after the Democratic president won...

...a second term, despite it surely being the End Of America As We Know It.

[LiberalFighter]

22. That would make no sense in forcing anyone to marry

It is actually not in the US interest for people to marry as tax revenue is lost when folks marry.

[Drale]

23. Sounds fun

I don't have any guns and can we choose the gay person we are going to marry?

[beac]

29. I don't have any guns, so I will have to see of I can get two gay spouses instead or perhaps

they can billet some UN troops at my house.

[SheilaT]

60. I don't have any guns either.

What will happen when they come to take mine away, and I don't have any? Will they take my cat? All of my science-fiction novels?

Oh, the horror.

But maybe I'll get a better spouse than my first one.

[Zoeisright]

26. Freak her out - agree with her!

[Dem2TheCore]

28. Tell her that you received an email from Obama after the victory, it said

On February 1, 2013, UN troops will be coming door to door to confirm indoctrination. They will remove your bibles. They will provide you with a complimentary Koran. They will implant an RFID chip in your arm (it's painless) for tracking purposes. They will take your spouse and replace them with a same sex partner. They will confiscate all firearms. They will give you a reporting date, time and place for mandatory political training sessions.

Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

[calico1]

31. I would tell her I got a catalog of suitable

partners for me and my spouse to choose from when the time comes for us to split because of the new law. I would tell her I am trying to decide between 3, can you come over and help me pick one? And I'd say, hubby has already picked out his partner.

If she has kids I would ask her if she has been assigned the gay indoctrination schools yet.

[JHB]

51. So she'll get binders full of women to choose from?

That'll make her feel right at home!

[calico1]

77. Yes, and binders full of men for her hubby. n/t

[Berlin Expat]

58. Actually, better to tell the

sister-in-law that President Obama will be sworn in for his second term on a Qur'an, and that during his inauguration speech, he will announce that the USA shall be henceforth referred to as the "Islamic Caliphate of the United Muslim States" and that all non-Muslims will have to pay the jizya, at a rate of 80% of gross income (which will be eliminated once they convert to Islam and acknowledge the Prophet Muhammad (saas)).

Hehe.

[Arugula Latte]

71. Will there be falafel and baklava?

Because, if so, I'm down with that.

[donqpublic]

30. Damn Funny

I hope your wife smacked you.

Please I mean no offense to anyone, but male boobs will never look as nice as female boobs, IMHO.

[VWolf]

32. They get phased in

right after the forced lattes and abortions.

[and-justice-for-all]

34. That is some serious paranoid delusion...LOL

[temporary311]

35. She forgot to mention the monthly mandatory abortions.

[wishlist]

37. He's busy stealing trillions of dollars to pay off minority voters

I overhead this and other equally nutty accusations at a local diner this morning as right wingers came in and spouted off their nonsense while my husband and I struggled to restrain breaking into giddy laughter after celebrating most of the night.

[NewJeffCT]

38. don't forget these important things that will happen, too

1) Muslim re-education camps
2) Banning the Boy Scouts
3) Rich people will have their assets seized
4) White women will be forced to marry black men
5) God & the Bible will be banned

[ejbr]

39. Good!

Cuz as a gay man, I am having trouble finding a mate.

[calico1]

42. Oh I don't know about that...

Obama is evil.

He might force you to marry a woman.

[ejbr]

46. If my mother can't do that

then neither can Obama!!

[pampango]

40. A small part of the right's "Six most paranoid fears for Obama’s second term"

With the election only days away, the radical right is bracing for what it believes could be an Obamapocalpyse

One Thousand Years of Darkness - “socialism or something much worse”
An Obama Dictatorship - unleash a“dictatorial full monty”; instant citizenship for all Third World immigrants; forced equalization of income; the end of fossil fuel production
Obama Will Take Away Our Gun Rights - Obama’s first term was nothing but a “conspiracy to ensure re-election by lulling gun owners to sleep.”
U.S. Will Be Enslaved by Globalists - make the U.S. a “vassal state to a globalist entity.”
U.N. Troops and Civil War - “Obama’s going to send in U.N. troops”
Hunted Down Like Dogs - “If re-elected, it’s gonna be war”; “We will be hunted down like dogs.”

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/04/six_most_paranoid_fears_for_obamas_second_term/

[ismnotwasm]

43. So am I Gay or is my husband Gay?

Neither one of us need bigger anything that you very much.

[workinclasszero]

45. We will always have the teabag/republican party

So the batshit insane have a place to hang out and scan the skies for black helicopters.

Fricken right wing whack-jobs!

[BlueDemKev]

48. Please place your in-law's unedited post here. I'd like to read it.

[lillypaddle]

49. LOL

That's hysterical!

[pnwmom]

52. You just tell her

that straight people in the past have often unwittingly married gay people, in traditional marriages with closeted spoused like ex-Governor McGreevey and Senator Craig. The purpose of marriage equality is to let gay people marry each other.

[Coyotl]

54. You know all those Sandinistas that were en route in the 1980s under Reagan

Last edited Wed Nov 7, 2012, 03:33 PM - Edit history (2)

Well, they just arrived in El Paso. Obama is hiring them cuz they're fellow scocialists. The UN Troops couldn't be trusted.

Saturday works. Just leave your guns on the porch overnight.

[Janecita]

73. You mean Sandinistas?

The Contras were Reagan's little anti communist army.

[Coyotl]

84. I guess that needs an edit, or

travel in Mexico long enough, and you become a socialist too!

[Janecita]

86. So true;-)

[Coyotl]

88. Welcome to DU

I'm on my new 2012 Profile, too many posts on the 1st one!

[amuse bouche]

56. I'm sorry, but that is hilarious

I can't stop laughing

[KevTucky]

57. Be sure to thank her for all those senate seats

Teabaggers, the gift that keeps on giving!!!

[catbyte]

59. That will happen shortly after Obama confiscates all our guns & opens up FEMA re-education camps

Probably around Thanksgiving. After all, that's a long weekend for most of us. It will give us more time to pack.

Your sister is seriously that disturbed?!? My sympathies to you. Holidays must be a real chore...

[Contrary1]

64. Delete...wrong place to respond.

[Arugula Latte]

66. Do we get to pick who we get gay married to? Or are we going to be on a lottery system?

I don't want to wind up with Patricia Heaton, Victoria Jackson or Phyllis Schlafly, ya know?

[TahitiNut]

67. I sure hope my new gay bride knows how to cook. I stink at it.

[Debau2005]

78. I was thinking the same thing

My husband cooks, I don't. So can I ask that my new wife have the ability to cook? Or can we not make requests?

[TahitiNut]

80. Well, beggars can't be choosers, so I'll take what I can get.

When I (once upon a time) had a libido, it might've kicked me in the crotch and made some kind of difference. These days, the only oral sex I participate in is yelling "Fuck You" at the TV.

They say "gay' but don't say what gender ... so I'll just ASSume gay female. I suppose my libido would sure tolerate her extra-marital activities ... and I could watch.

[pansypoo53219]

68. i eagerly await

FEMA re-EDUCATION camps.

[Bossy Monkey]

69. Teabagging acquaintance on FB says she's going to have to learn Chinese

I just let it ride, but seriously, you have to be pretty deluded to think Romney would be better than Obama in terms of kowtowing to the Chinese.

[oldbanjo]

72. Obama will defend the right

of the poor and retired to protect themselves from the rich.

[Caeser67]

74. Lol

I guess I need to let my wife know that we're losing our .45's, but we're getting new lovers! WHOOOOOO!

[Smilo]

75. But Bachmann married a gay - so doesn't that make it okay

I would like dibs on a handsome, hardworking, with a sense of humor, intelligent and loving gay please.

[NICO9000]

82. Clinton was supposed to take the guns away in 1993

Still waitin'...

[onecent]

85. lol lol...that made me laugh out loud...n/t

[Ilsa]

89. He's already had 4 years to do this.

Why wait until an "iffy" second term materializes? If I was i office and had some nefarious agenda, I'd do it right away!

[Tribetime]

91. don't forget he pal's around with terrorists

[Blue Owl]

93. Don't forget the War on Christmas is just launching too

[Aerows]

94. This made me burst out laughing

That's what some of them actually think. It's hilarious.