If Sanders supporters complained about other things the way they complain about election results
By Alexandra Petri
With apologies to my Facebook feed.
CHESS:
This game is rigged. The pawns get to move almost NOWHERE, whereas the QUEEN (DETECT ANY RESEMBLANCE HERE???) can just move wherever she likes with no apparent rhyme or reason. She’s not a bishop or a rook. Why does she move like one? Also, the black pieces have to move second, which is TOTALLY unfair and needs to be looked into, unless I am playing with the white pieces today.
SCRABBLE:
I played exactly the same word as my opponent, using exactly the same letters, and received fewer points for it — just because I wasn’t on some pink square, which my opponent claimed gave you DOUBLE the points. Pretty sure that’s the definition of rigged. Why would you just randomly have squares all over the board that counted for MORE or FEWER points when it’s just the same words? Also my opponent had two BLANK tiles, which just got to be WHATEVER letters she wanted. This seems made-up. Milton Bradley are shills who are trying to prevent the revolution. Also, “BERN” is totally a word.
HEARTS:
THIS GAME IS EVEN MORE RIGGED THAN THE ECONOMY. Hear me out. Usually when you get a heart or the queen of spades, it is an obvious negative, but somehow if you get ALL of the hearts and the queen of spades, you win? This is a blatant lie meant to disenfranchise voters, except for the time when it happened to me by mistake, then it was good.
MONOPOLY:
Where do I even start with this? I am literally shaking as I type. This game is a travesty. Just because my opponent got two blue properties, she got to charge me INSANE AMOUNTS whenever I landed on them? I didn’t ASK to stay in her Park Place hotel. I would gladly sleep outdoors beneath a tent and keep my integrity, but this option was not provided. I also had two blue properties but I received none of the advantages that she did. Why does it cost more to land on Park Place and Boardwalk than on Connecticut or Vermont Avenue? If anything, Vermont should count double. Sometimes my opponent and I would land on exactly the same Chance square and she would get $150 and I would get something worthless like Second Prize in a Beauty Contest. This is not fair. Also I didn’t get to play as the dog and I wanted to play as the dog.
APPLES TO APPLES:
This game is entirely subjective and biased, which you can tell because sometimes the judge would give points to my opponent instead of giving them all to me. I objectively deserved whatever points I received and my opponent only received hers because the system is broken...
more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2016/05/18/if-sanders-supporters-complained-about-other-things-the-way-they-complain-about-election-results/?tid=ss_tw-bottom
= new reply since forum marked as read
