Another inconvenience for "loners".

[no_hypocrisy]

I'm scheduled to have my first colonoscopy. It's inpatient but it's also under general anesthesia. That means they won't schedule it unless I have someone there to drive me home. They don't allow taxis. (It would cost about $35 roundtrip, so that would be out anyway.) You can't walk home. Clear and straight forward: someone has to collect you and drive you home.

I understand: liability involved if you go out and get into an accident after the procedure.

I'm single. No spouse, no children. Alone and loving it. Until today.

Now I have to find a friend who's not working at 1 p.m. and can hang out between 90 minutes and two hours to drive me home. There is no such thing as a colorectal Shabbos Goy. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shabbos_goy)

I figure, hey, take them out to a diner afterwards, my treat, and have a good time. (And after all, I will have had an empty stomach for about 9 hours.)

[marylandblue]

1. Use an ambulette service

They will collect you from the dr. office and walk you into your home. I had this done for my mother when I couldn't take her myself. It cost about $100.

[Binkie The Clown]

2. For my eye surgery years ago I used a taxi. n/t

[matt819]

3. Some ideas

Ambulette idea a good one. Contact local ambulance service, as the often offer this sort of transport service.

Contact one of the local service groups - Rotary, Lions, etc., and see if they might help.

Contact a local home health care organization or even a local homeless shelter - they might know of free transportation services. Or call the patient ombudsman at the hospital.

Maybe give a general location and put the word out here for a local DUer?

[no_hypocrisy]

4. All great suggestions. No taxis, no ambulettes. Only individuals with cars who are

family or friend.

[LeftofObama]

5. Another suggestion...

Call your local senior center. The one in the town where I live has people who volunteer with the center for just those purposes.

[left-of-center2012]

6. I went through this

I use Uber a lot to get around,
and in advance arranged to pay one guy cash to take me, wait, and bring me home.
I gave him $40.

[rogue emissary]

7. I had a procedure where I was put under general anesthesia and used a taxi.

Was in the same predicament, as they told me I couldn't use a taxi. I didn't have any family or friends I wanted to inconvenience. So I just told them a friend would be picking me up and took a taxi.

[littlemissmartypants]

8. Excellent post.

Thanks for this post, no_hypocrisy. I found a young second cousin willing to help. She calls me Auntie now and she is awesome.

All the best to you!

♡lmsp

[Warpy]

9. If you're in a city of any size, there will likely be senior medical shuttles

You can take a cab in (they're cheaper) and then arrange to have the service pick you up afterward. That's what I did for my hose up the bum and it worked out fine. The service is staffed with people who will deliver you back to the hospital if you pass out. Cabs aren't.

You will not be up for a dinner. You'll want to sleep because you didn't sleep the night before and you'll want to take advantage of residual grogginess from the Versed. You'll want to keep it light that evening.

[no_hypocrisy]

10. Funny thing is that I had breast surgery 4 months ago with general.

No problem with the anesthesia.

How little, if any?

I came to, the nurse brought me coffee within 2 minutes. A minute after that, my friend came in to join me. We were avidly and coherently discussing an article in The New Yorker. I never would have believed you could have clarity of mind that quickly after being under.

OTOH, you never know with this procedure. You can end up vomiting all the way home.

[peacebuzzard]

11. This is an informative thread, I also have the same predicament

Coming up soon with outpatient surgery next month.
And I have been through this before.
Other suggestions: mentioned already in this thread is the home health care services in the yellow pages.
To consider: 1. I have used one of my pet sitters,
2. You can find hourly care on Care.com (this website used to offer a free 30 day trial)

The problem with certain hospitals, and outpatient surgery locations is they might actually want the responsible individual to come into your room where you are still anesthetized.
I had this occur post-colonoscopy. I was out cold, in the recovery room with my split hospital gown on.
When I regained some consciousness I was terribly embarrassed because the "friend" was a guy I had only fleetingly dated once or twice. I really struggled to make it home, I was terribly ill from the surgery drugs and the drive home made me more nauseous.
Fortunately I was through my door, in my safe haven, and alone, before I threw up.

[More_Cowbell]

12. Sorry I didn't see this until now

I had this same problem last year, foot surgery and no friends close enough to drive me home (it was emergency surgery, so there was no time to plan). I asked a coworker who lives close to the hospital, and she got permission to work from home that day so she could do it. Win-win for both of us. Apparently I was very entertaining on the drive home

edited because I forgot to say, the taxi driver who drove me in at 5am said he could tell them he was a friend picking me up. Nice guy! Luckily I didn't have to take him up on it. (The hospital had already said that a taxi was not acceptable; it had to be someone who knew me)