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Little Star

(17,055 posts)
Mon Mar 25, 2013, 03:36 PM Mar 2013

On this date one year ago....

I spent my last day with my beloved husband. It was a Sunday, much like any other Sunday. I can't recall anything special happening that day. But today, and probably every other March 25th I will remember that March 25th 2012 was the last day I spent with him.


Tomorrow, the 26th of March , I will remember as the date I never laid eyes on him alive again. He was a morning person. Always up at the crack of dawn. He had (as usual) left me sleeping while he had his morning coffee, reading newspapers on the internet and then went out running before getting ready for work.

I eventually woke up and was having my coffee waiting for him to return home. The door bell rang. It startled me, that never happens so early in the morning. It was the local police telling me to go to the hospital where my husband was being transported from the HS track where he had been doing laps. It was well before school hours had begun. An elderly couple who walked the track most every morning had found him on the ground off in a wooded area just slightly out of sight. What I didn't know yet was that he was already gone when they found him. Going to the hospital was more for me than for him.

On March 27th I will remember his birthday and the fact that he never made it to his 62nd one. He was instead in a morgue awaiting the mandatory autopsy that is required here in MA when a person is found alone and dead.

I'm a different person now. I have a hollow feeling inside. I seem to have lost my ability to concentrate and my mind quite often wanders. I'm different but I'm ok. I have plenty of family and friends that love me and I love them. One foot in front of the other....

Thanks for reading this, LS

RIP my love.

12 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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On this date one year ago.... (Original Post) Little Star Mar 2013 OP
Just got past 4 year mark on Feb 25th. It's not easy, but I have found things getting better Hoyt Mar 2013 #1
Thank you Hoyt for those words of encouragement & I'm sorry for your loss.... Little Star Mar 2013 #2
So young. thank you for sharing your innermost grief. I am so sorry auntAgonist Mar 2013 #3
Thanks aA. Little Star Mar 2013 #6
Well... fadedrose Mar 2013 #4
P. S. fadedrose Mar 2013 #5
Hey you.... Little Star Mar 2013 #7
Last Easter mainstreetonce Mar 2013 #8
I'm so sorry mainstreetonce. And I'm sorry that Easter will probably always be hard for you... Little Star Mar 2013 #9
please know that we do care. i hope you can auntAgonist Mar 2013 #10
this hit a chord with me mimitabby Jun 2013 #11
I'm sorry for your loss too mimitabby. Little Star Jun 2013 #12
 

Hoyt

(54,770 posts)
1. Just got past 4 year mark on Feb 25th. It's not easy, but I have found things getting better
Mon Mar 25, 2013, 03:58 PM
Mar 2013

as time goes on, and I try to prepare for what I hope is a long life. One year is really tough, but things will get better, even if some days you have to force yourself to keep moving (or just write those days off).

Sounds like both of you were very fortunate for your time together.

Take care.

auntAgonist

(17,252 posts)
3. So young. thank you for sharing your innermost grief. I am so sorry
Wed Mar 27, 2013, 01:55 AM
Mar 2013

that I didn't see this sooner.

It's March 27th today and I am sure your emotions are running all over the place.

Stop, breathe, hold close your joy filled memories and feel the love that will never ever leave you.


I hope this day isn't painful for you.




kesha

fadedrose

(10,044 posts)
4. Well...
Wed Mar 27, 2013, 11:00 AM
Mar 2013

You've been through every holiday for the first time withut him. It'll still hurt the 2nd time around, but not like a brick hitting you on the head.

Hang in there, C, it's two years you need. If you can manage to get through one more, you could end up being an octogenarian (although I don't wish that on me).

Keep up what you've been doing to occupy your mind. The news is not that interesting or cheerful the last few weeks - guns, gay marriages, etc., and for a couple of old straight married people like us (yes, you are still married in your head), we need some good House battles about SS, Medicare and maybe a war we don't wanna go to, and hopes that MSNBC becomes a better station. But I am hoping the best for the gays, it's time.

Take care, love. The orioles are here in less than a month. Get your grape jelly ready, and your sugar water for the hummingbirds.

fadedrose

(10,044 posts)
5. P. S.
Wed Mar 27, 2013, 11:07 AM
Mar 2013

Am mixing groups, but when I die, I'll meet your husband and will say hello in ghost talk for you, then it's Frank Sinatra and James D. Doss and a bunch of dogs I had in the past. No relatives. None.

Oh Death, where is thy sting???

Sounds like fun to me.

mainstreetonce

(4,178 posts)
8. Last Easter
Thu Mar 28, 2013, 07:48 PM
Mar 2013

was the last time my husband was here with me and the children and grandchildren. He went to l the hospital that week and lived a few days.
This has been the hardest week. Christmas was easy compared to what Easter will be.


I hope you are doing ok. I made it through the year,like you one day at a time, but the littlest things can become the biggest things sometimes.

Sometimes just reading DU helps. It is clear there are good people here who care about others.

Little Star

(17,055 posts)
9. I'm so sorry mainstreetonce. And I'm sorry that Easter will probably always be hard for you...
Thu Mar 28, 2013, 09:11 PM
Mar 2013

You will be in my thoughts. (((((hugs)))))

auntAgonist

(17,252 posts)
10. please know that we do care. i hope you can
Fri Mar 29, 2013, 12:06 AM
Mar 2013

Get through these days with few tears and loads of wonderful happy memories. Give the grandchildren memories they will forever cherish, in turn your love will fill your heart. That is my fervent hope for you and yours this day. XOXO

aA
Kesha

mimitabby

(1,832 posts)
11. this hit a chord with me
Wed Jun 5, 2013, 11:05 PM
Jun 2013

My husband died in July. I realize that soon I won't be able to say "last year my husband and I...." because he will have been dead.

My husband really wanted to live for 62 years because his father (who smoked and was in very poor health for many years) lived that long. My husband was very healthy and cancer took him.

Except for not being that happy innocent person i used to be i haven't changed much. I am sorry for your loss.

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