My boyfriend (we're 51) is a church-going catholic.

[lindysalsagal]

He's so boring! Geez! You can't have an intelligent conversation with him because he's so busy defending the pope and god and stuff. But it's indefensible, so he goes off in a huff all the time.

Catholic believers have no sense of humor!

[Angry Dragon]

1. Time to find another boyfriend??

[lindysalsagal]

2. Except that he's built like Daniel Craig and his mother is no longer on this planet...

and the chemistry is awesome....

[Warpy]

3. Then it's time to set a boundary

and tell him any discussion of religion (or lack thereof) is off the table. It's either that or have him dump you just because.

I once kept a friendship with a new convert to the JWs by setting that boundary early on.

[lindysalsagal]

6. That's effectively where we are. He gets so upset when reality doesn't match his pretend world

He actually just goes home to calm down, but he can't refute anything I say. I get the last word because he can't answer for his ridiculous claims. So we just don't go there.

I teach music and I have some new autistic kids and I've been telling him about them. He gets that glazed look and mutters under his breath something about "everything happens for a reason..." and I said, "No. Autism doesn't happen for a reason. Autism is an oops. No way do these kids or their parents somehow deserve a life like this, of not being able to communicate. There is no purpose behind this. "

Didn't go over well. Because he knows I'm right.

He keeps the whole mommy and daddy are waiting for me in heaven thing going by attending an hour of church a week. It's a nice fantasy that a 51 year old shouldn't need. But he had a rough childhood. It's mostly arrested development. The man is a physical therapist with 4 advanced degrees. Not dumb. Just not quite ready to live in the real world of messy ambiguity. Catholics offer him nice simple black and white answers, and that brings him comfort. As long as he doesn't think about all the pain the church inflicts on others......

[Kennah]

4. I'm sorry, but I had to laugh

1) Build like Daniel Craig
2) Mother no longer on this planet
3) Chemistry is awesome

Totally get #1 and #3.

Of #2, did she return to her Home World via the Mother Ship? Sorry. Just had to laugh.

[lindysalsagal]

7. My first mother-in-law was enough.

It won't work a second time, either.

[Kennah]

5. On your point about Catholics having no sense of humor, I agree

Friend of mine is a LW Catholic, but Dear Gaia his defense of the Pope is just insane.

He and I got into it via texts then FB last week. Sent me something about Father Robert Spitzer and his proof of God crap. He said the guy had studied physics and had a degree, but I didn't find any indication the guy had even a B.S. in physics. Asked him about this, and he went nuts on me. Said I just wanted to see some indication of his education in physics, and could he direct me to any published peer reviewed papers.

I don't see a problem with religious leaders studying science, but if they are going to spout off about God implying scientific evidence then they'd better step up and meet the standards of science. Otherwise it's faith wrapped in bullshit.

[lindysalsagal]

8. It's all bullshit: Voo doo and bullshit.

Simply put: Believers are unwilling to live in the world on its own terms: Random.

Magical thinking helps them cope with the big , scary world. Never mind the fact that there are gazillions of poor, sick, miserable religious fanatics out there. Never mind the fact that prayer doesn't change a damn thing, and obedience doesn't relieve homelessness or hunger or sickness or unemployment or natural disasters. Never mind the fact that most of the violence in the world has been in the name of god.

Believers believe their faith gets them ahead in line in the great sibling rivalry for dad's endowments. Even when it never works.

[Warpy]

9. It's not kind to take somebody's binkie away at any age

and that's really what faith is, something that keeps them safe and centered no matter how nutty the world around them has gotten. Threatening that faith on any level is threatening their safety, not a nice thing to do to anyone.

You have to realize these are decent and rational people in 95% of their lives. It's only that nutty 5% they have stashed behind the "break in case of disaster" safety glass that's really crazy and they will die to protect it.

I made my peace with this stuff a long time ago, starting with my parents. 95% of a person is plenty for me to know and appreciate. The other 5% is their problem.

My parents ended up dying unbelievers. I don't think that would have happened had I harangued them and ruined what was left of an already shaky relationship.

[Taverner]

10. That makes sense

We will never convert a believer, unless they WANT to be converted

Religion will go away, but not in our lifetime and probably not in our grandchildren's

The only defense against religious insanity is peer-reviewed, empirical data

And that stuff is very slow acting

[lindysalsagal]

12. Agreed. I just can't imagine blissful ignorance giving me a sense of security. If anything,

knowing I was unaware of the truth would scare me. I prefer living with my eyes open and thinking for myself, rather than living in an eternal state of childhood conditional security.

My motto has always been: Tell the the truth, now. If it's good, great. If it's bad, why make me wait? I might as well find out and get on with it, rather than trying to live like an ostrich, looking for convenient head-burying places. That just slows me down.

I think my boyfriend had such a miserable, frightened childhood, that he has to live now believing that he'll get real parents in heaven. Trouble is, it kind of puts his whole life on hold: He's in a holding pattern.

I think that if you really believe heaven is the answer, and the earth is just 80 years of dues-paying, why don't you just go jump off a bridge and save yourself the aches and pains of old age? If you really believe, prove it. Get on with it. Don't waste your energy with us pagans. Take the blue one. God will catch you.

That's why I don't think people really, truly believe: No one lives their life like the really believe. They're just putting money on all the horses in the race.

In paris, the doors of notredame, from the 8th century or whenever, the doors are covered with every religious symbol on the planet, including pagan, egyptian, jewish and muslim. I was astounded. Of course the requisite saints guard the roofline. But on the ground, outside, where the working class can touch them, the doors call to to everyone of every persuasion.
Also, in every catholic church, there is a life-size statue of Mary, right at eye level in the front. God is nowhere to be seen, and jesus is busy bleeding up on the ceiling, out of reach. But Mary, the goddess, the mother, is right where you need her when the shit hits the fan. She's unharmed, and empty handed, ready to catch you. She'll make you the center of her attention. No fastpass needed.

I think we are all wired for the maternal comforts, and the jesus thing was a political move by men to usurp divine feminine territory. But that's just me.

[awoke_in_2003]

11. It will never get better...

why spend the rest of your life swimming upstream?

[RebelOne]

13. My daughter who is an atheist, as I am,

was married to a devout Catholic. He was involved in a bad accident at his job. He vowed if he healed, he owed it to god and would devote his life to him if he recovered. Well, he recovered, thanks to his doctors and not god. He then joined the Catholic church and my daughter's life was almost unbearable. She finally left him after 20-some years of marriage. They are now in the process of divorce.