Meh. Fuck it. I'm going to start calling myself an atheist. Here's why -->
A week and a half ago, I moved back home to Missouri, after years in the diaspora. I've had a particularly complicated journey of belief, raised by an atheist and an agnostic in a world dominated by Christianity. Well, they don't live here, anymore, and my bubble of sanity is gone. My GF is a very weak atheist, and the only family or friends we have are her family and friends, only one of which doesn't attend church. In other words, I'm surrounded by believers who assume I'm Christian, because I've long identified myself as a Christian - an agnostic Christian, maybe, but they don't hear that first word, when I feel comfortable enough saying it, or understand that it means I don't take the Bible in the least bit literally. In fact, I think the Bible is a compendium of myths selectively edited to establish a system of social control, and do not accept the historicity of Jesus, at all. By "Christian," I meant it in the most milquetoast manner possible... sort of Jack Methodist.
But moving back has put my brain in context, and it's squirming like a toad (thx Jim). I'm being inundated by daily devotionals and every conversation at every gathering ends up involving some sort of spiritual mumbo-jumbo. There's nobody (GF aside) with whom to talk about science, art, culture, or history, and the cognitive dissonance I'm experiencing has rapidly become untenable. Something's gotta give, and it's not going to be facts already rattling about in my skull. I need some way to make folks uncomfortable about bringing the fluff up in conversation, and maybe if I call myself an atheist, they'll be afraid to open their big ignorant yaps.
DU has turned into my sanity valve. I come here and read the flame threads and the articles and occasionally I try to say something reasonable, or share something interesting. What I've noticed is that as a self-identified agnostic Christian, I can say the same thing as an angry atheist (with perhaps less chest-poking) and it's received as intended: as a comment and opinion, not a provocation. Well, if I'm going to call myself an atheist in meatspace, I might as well call myself an atheist in cyberspace, too. If I'm willing to face the heat in real life, then facing the heat in this virtual life ought to be a cinch.
Let's see how this goes. I'm kind of curious, I admit, to discover if my opinions and comments here will be treated differently when they're perceived to be coming from a self-identified atheist. I intend to continue my usual writing and arguing style, which I like to think relies on reason and compassion while minimizing snark. I prefer to write a few long posts that attempt (however feebly) to contribute something to a conversation, rather than engage in bumper-sticker barb-trading passed off as 'debate'. When that happens, I end it with a "sudo !!" (very effective). All you Linux geeks out there already understand. For those who have not discovered the joys of open source liberation tech, it means, "Repeat the last thing I typed as super-user." It's the opposite of the white flag.
So, here I am. American irrationality has made one more atheist.
And, Dad, if you're reading this, I miss you.
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