I want this a sign by my front door

[dixiegrrrrl]

[Auggie]

1. ROFL

Perfect!

[Warpy]

2. "Day Sleeper with a Gun"

got rid of them in Boston. I ran them all off here in NM to the point the Mormons cross the street when they get to my house. Night nurses are rabid when awakened.

[Mr.Bill]

3. I had a room mate once who asked them

if they could answer his questions about god. When they said yes, he invited them in. He then asked them if god had a tight ass.

We never saw them again.

[Scuba]

4. At my previous home, a nest of garter snakes used to hang out by the front door.

Kept the prosyletizers away so I left them alone.

[onager]

5. Rec'd! Thanks.

I moved back to Upstate SC last year, and surprised that I've only had one set of God-botherers knocking on my door so far.

That was on a Saturday morning a couple months ago. Two black guys in suits. And their human shield - a little girl who looked very unhappy. Like she'd rather be anywhere else. I don't blame her. For one thing, she was wearing a fancy, short-sleeved "Sunday dress" and shivering from the cold. It takes some kind of asshole to drag a kid around dressed like that in the middle of winter.

[mr blur]

6. The sign on our front door:

(we have two doorbells)



Polite and to-the-point.
If they ring anyway, I find that a brisk "Fuck off!" does the trick.
If they've brought a kid with them for protection, then that's their problem.

[Curmudgeoness]

7. I hadn't had anyone at my door for years, until

last week. It was a lone, young girl. I was going to get nasty with her, but instead, I just told her that it didn't seem to me that it was very safe for her to be knocking on strangers doors. You never know who might be in that house, or what they have in their mind to do to you. And your god may not protect you...never know when he will think to test you.

I figure that scaring her enough that she would decide it was a dumb idea to go door to door might work. And it entertained me.

[D Gary Grady]

8. Reminds me of three quick things

Last edited Tue Apr 19, 2016, 10:52 PM - Edit history (2)

1. In an episode of the British comedy programme "Black Books," the protagonist, a bookstore owner, is in the agony of working on his taxes when his doorbell is rung by a pair of visitors who want to come in and tell him about God. He sheds tears of joy at the interruption and practically drags them inside and starts interrogating them about God. The visitors stammer for a bit and finally admit they don't have any idea what to say. "No one has ever invited us in before."

2. I knew someone who wanted to get a pair of contact lenses that looked like little convex mirrors that he could put in before inviting missionaries inside, just to see how long it took them to realize they were trying to convert an apparent demon.

3. Mickey Spillane, the guy who wrote the Mike Hammer private eye novels that were chock full of hot sex and deadly violence, sometimes at the same time, was a Jehovah's Witness. I don't mean that he converted to the religion later; he was writing Mike Hammer books at the same time he was a Jehovah's Witness. I think it would have been great to have Mickey Spillane show up at my door with a copy of The Watchtower, but alas it never happened.

[dixiegrrrrl]

9. I do hope you will post more often.....love your sense of humor.

[D Gary Grady]

10. Many thanks for the kind words

Not everyone agrees with you. My ex-wife's grounds for divorce were "You make me laugh at stupid things!"