Cult Divided On Whether To Let Women Become Telepathic-Vision Clerics

[laconicsax]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cult-divided-on-whether-to-let-women-become-telepa,17842/

KLAMATH FALLS, OR—According to sources within the Seventh Light compound, a rift has recently emerged within the cult over the question of whether to ordain female disciples as telepathic-vision clerics.

"It is the Singular Essence's will that our holy prophet Raymond was male, as were the initial Six Believers whom he entrusted with the Inward Knowledge," read a statement issued Monday by the group's governing body, the Acolyte Council. "Therefore we cannot condone any trans-dimensional communications, tomorrow-visions, or human or animal castrations performed by a woman."

[EvolveOrConvolve]

1. LOL - a holy prophet named "Raymond"?

Gotta love The Onion!

[laconicsax]

2. Makes as much sense as various other "prophet" names

[MrModerate]

3. Well I'm certainly relieved that they're going to restrict castrations . . .

Human or animal.

[dimbear]

4. Not going to get many Lapplander chicks joining. n/t

[MarkCharles]

5. I like a joke as much as anyone, but....

REALLY, stooping to quoting the The Onion to get them???

Come on, now, real religion is funny enough without having to cite The Onion!

[darkstar3]

6. kick