Vatican frees ***** who ***** *****, forbids her to ever to return to Holy See territory

[Warren Stupidity]

The ***** was ordered to never set foot again in Vatican City State, or on other Vatican property outside the tiny city state walls.

http://www.thestar.com/news/world/2014/12/27/vatican_frees_woman_who_bared_breast_forbids_her_to_ever_to_return_to_holy_see_territory.html

[Heddi]

1. I'm alerting on this sexist drivel

you used the word "her" in your headline. You horrible brute, you. WE ARE NOT YOUR CHATTEL

[Warren Stupidity]

2. But I can still be your lap dog, right?

[Heddi]

3. You may

Hey did I tell you about this great book I just picked up off Amazon, it's about this Jesuit Priest who travels to a distant land....

[mr blur]

7. Does he travel around in a van solving mysteries?

I've seen the TV series.

(spoiler: it wasn't the Messiah, it was Old Man Roberts wearing a rubber mask.)

[LostOne4Ever]

4. You used the word "her"

[font style="font-family:papyrus,'Brush Script MT','Infindel B',fantasy;" size=4 color=teal]rather than person of the ovarian persuasion. Totally misogynistic. You should be ashamed.

And then you mentioned a foot....obviously a reference to people with foot fetishes. Totally alerting.

OH, and you mentioned tiny city walls...my goddess, such sexism! Why haven't you been kicked off of DU yet you bigot! [/font]



[center]*This post is a work of sarcasm and satire.[/center]

[AlbertCat]

8. Wait a minute!

I thought I was the misogynist around here!


Or am I the homophobic misogynist?


It's hard to keep up!

[Curmudgeoness]

5. Well, that is what I call forgiveness.

"Forbids"
"Never set foot again"

And that never set foot means that she can never ever ever go to church either, at least in a Catholic church. So it is obvious that they are condemning her to Hell. Wow, just wow.

[bvf]

6. I'm truly sorry

that the holy see prosecutor had to see that.

How do I go about applying for a position there?

[deucemagnet]

9. Ooh! I love Mad-Libs!

Vatican frees fighter pilot who fondles fresh produce, forbids her to ever return to Holy See territory.

[Warren Stupidity]

10. Careful: "fondles fresh produce" could easily get you a hide here.

[deucemagnet]

11. Damn!

Oh well, I lied anyway. I don't really love Mad-Libs.

[Warren Stupidity]

12. I loved it when I was 10-12, as it was a great way to work "fart" into anything.

And when you are 10, the word fart is extremely funny.

[Iggo]

13. Funny at 53, too.

Fart.

[trotsky]

14. Amen to that.

I've told my kids that when I stop laughing at fart jokes, it's time to pull the plug. Not only will that be an indicator of my sense of awareness - but if I reach the point where they are no longer funny, that's not a life I want to live.

Same with Uranus jokes!