Help request of atheists for my kiddo's research paper

[wavesofeuphoria]

Hello all. My daughter (and I) would like to make a request of folks in this group.

She has been assigned an auto-ethnography research paper in her EngComp class. This is a community college course - she is 17. Here is the general assignment:

In this research project, you will first identify a particular aspect (we will refer to it as a core component) of your self, within a culture that has significantly impacted your identity and its development. Among the questions you will address are:

How are these core components of your identity perceived by those inside and outside the culture?
How does your identity adhere to or diverge from the perceived conventions of this culture?
How has the culture affected your identity and / or overall development?

She's had to do some journal writing and such in class as preparation -- here is a sample of some of that:

When I was growing up, I heard the word god very rarely. The few times I heard it were when someone said "Oh my god!" I grew up thinking that 'god' meant the same thing as 'unbelievable'.

and .. this one made me chuckle a little

She got her idea of "praying for food" from The Simpsons:

The Simpsons Thanksgiving special where Bart burns Lisa's homemade cornucopia. In this episode, Marge is in the kitchen, making the turkey and cranberry sauce with help from Maggie. The Simpsons and the Bouviers come to the house wearing fancy clothes to celebrate with America's favorite cartoon family. After the whole cornucopia thing, the family sits at the table and prays over the home cooked meal. This is what I thought praying over food was; family coming together and praying over a home cooked meal to thank god for giving them such a wonderful life. This perception of prayer was shattered a few years later.

I had a friend, Harriet, who was raised as a Christian. We got along just fine. She invited me to a birthday/slumber party. I was really excited. At some point during the party, Harriet, her other friends, and I went to the kitchen in our pajamas to eat some Papa John's Pizza. Her mother walked in and panicked. "WAIT! We haven't prayed yet! Olivia (one of Harriet's friends) why don't you start the prayer?" The prayer started, and as I stood in the middle of the room, I was dumbfounded and could only think, "We’re praying for take-out?"

My daughter would like to talk with others about their experiences to include in the paper. You folks in this group are darned articulate and we thought you might enjoy participating. She would greatly appreciate it if you would answer a few (some or all) questions that she might read and include in her paper. I realize folks might not want to answer here (I cannot at all blame you!). She has created an email address if you'd like to send your answers to it.

Thank you in advance ... we both appreciate the help and insight!

Send answers to: [e-mail]

1. Did you grow up in a religious household/community?
2. At what age did you start identifying yourself as an atheist? How long had you been questioning the existence of a god before you "became" an atheist?
3. Do you prefer to be called something else (humanist, freethinker, etc.)?
4. Would you say you are outspoken about being an atheist?
5. Have you ever felt left out/repressed/neglected because you are an atheist?
6. How do you think society generally views atheists?

[ChairmanAgnostic]

1. done.

[wavesofeuphoria]

2. thank you :)

[trotsky]

3. When do you need the responses by? n/t

[wavesofeuphoria]

5. Nov 10th ! Thanks!

[Galileo126]

4. Done! - nt

[wavesofeuphoria]

6. Thanks!! :)

[onager]

7. Giving this a try...

When you mentioned "The Simpsons," I thought for sure we'd hear Bart's version of saying grace - which still cracks me up: "Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves. So thanks for nothing."

Your Q&A:

1. Did you grow up in a religious household/community?

Yes, Southern Baptist (SoB). Though my family wasn't much like the caricatures of SoBs I often hear. Maybe we were SoB Lite or something. I had relatives who belonged to churches like the Fire Baptized Pentecostal Holiness - talking in tongues, falling in the floor when they got "slain in the Spirit," etc.

2. At what age did you start identifying yourself as an atheist? How long had you been questioning the existence of a god before you "became" an atheist?

Hard to tell. I certainly started having misgivings when I was quite young and asked questions about what we learned in Sunday School. I was told not to ask those questions, which started me suspecting it might all be a con job.

I went thru several years of thinking "There MUST be Something out there" before I finally decided there wasn't. Nothing but the big, beautiful universe. Which as Carl Sagan liked to say, is neither benign or hostile toward us humans. Just indifferent.

3. Do you prefer to be called something else (humanist, freethinker, etc.)?

Atheist is fine for me. I also like to think of myself as a humanist, but consider that to be membership in a different club.

4. Would you say you are outspoken about being an atheist?

Depends on where I am. No problem in my last job - almost everyone in our small department was a non-believer, including a couple of Republicans.

From 2005-09 I worked/lived in Egypt, and even some of my Muslim co-workers knew I was an atheist. They told me they had Egyptian friends who were non-believers.

One place I'm not too outspoken is when I visit my elderly mother, back in the South. As mentioned before, I have some very Fundamentalist kinfolk. They know my liberal views and like to poke me to get a response. My Mom doesn't need screaming arguments in her house, especially at Xmas. So I try to ignore them and change the subject when they start up about school prayer etc. Which they ALWAYS do...

5. Have you ever felt left out/repressed/neglected because you are an atheist?

Sure, especially in the political/social spheres. But I think most of us know we belong on the Island of Misfit Toys and make our peace with that. I'm really grateful for organizations like the Freedom From Religion Foundation and others who are trying to change that.

6. How do you think society generally views atheists?

Oh, right up there with diehard Stalinists and child molesters. I think that is changing, very slowly. And I insist on remaining hopeful for our future.

[wavesofeuphoria]

8. Thanks! You know, ...

As kiddo gets older (she's 17 now) and re-watches shows like The Simpsons ... it's fun to see her picking up on more of the sarcasm and irony that as a child she didn't see. They are like all new shows!!

thanks again!

[LostOne4Ever]

9. If it is okay I will post my answers here

Last edited Mon Nov 3, 2014, 12:55 AM - Edit history (3)

[font color=teal face=papyrus size=3]

1. Somewhat.
   
   In my younger years we were somewhat religious in that I we went to church on Sundays and I went to Catholic school. That said, we were hardly dogmatic. My parents got divorced when I was 3, and my step-dad was married twice before. We were raised with a kind of Libertarian view of things. We were pro-choice, pro-contraception and very pro-science.
   
   My grandmother had a bit of a negative view of religion which influenced my mom and myself. My mom developed Chronic Progressive MS while I was a little kid, and we stopped going to church. When asked about our religion I would always respond, "We are Catholic but not very good at it!"



2. I would say around 19-20 years old. I questioned and had issues with Christianity when I was a teenager in High School but it was not till I was a Deist in College that I really ever started to question if god existed at all.



3. I rather there not be any label for my type of atheism. People who don't believe in Leprechauns aren't called a-leprechaunists are they? Why should I be identified by something I am don't believe in? But, generally I am fine with all of the labels:
   
   Agnostic, agnostic atheist, implicit atheist, secularist, secular humanist, non-theist, non-believer, and skeptic. Though I consider myself a Liberal above all of those labels.



4. On anonymous message boards devote to talking about these type of issues? Yes. In the real world I am pretty closeted and try and avoid talking about my religious beliefs as much as possible. I do like talking about mythology and eastern philosophies though.



5. Yes. However, being closeted my experiences are rather minor. To put it into perspective, a person I know very well posted a message on Facebook a while back talking about their strong Christian beliefs and how they were not ashamed of them and how persecuted Christians are in this country by immoral secularists.
   
   She was able to do this with no fear of being disowned by her family or friends or any risk of it adversely affecting her career. I could not even reply to defend my (dis)beliefs without risking all of the above. Yet, she thinks she is the persecuted one...



6. Poorly. Very poorly. Every time there is a school shooting it is the result of [/font]"god being taken out of our schools." [font color=teal face=papyrus size=3]IE only irreligious people do such things. If you are not religious you are not a moral person. Whenever, it turns out the person was religious then the same people claim [/font]"oh they weren't really religious...religious people wouldn't do such a thing." [font color=teal face=papyrus size=3]Again, society claiming only atheists do bad things...

[wavesofeuphoria]

10. Here is fine! Thanks for sharing. :)

[Curmudgeoness]

11. I will answer here.

1. Did you grow up in a religious household/community?

We were not very religious. My father was raised Catholic and had left the faith, I never knew why. My mother was also did not go to church. My much older sister went to a Presbyterian church and we ended up going there for Sunday School and church services. I also went to church camp and retreats. So although we were not religious, I had a large dose of religion.

2. At what age did you start identifying yourself as an atheist? How long had you been questioning the existence of a god before you "became" an atheist?

I was about 35 years old before I would admit that I was an atheist. I had started to question in my late teens, but would use the term "agnostic" instead of "atheist" because people were much more accepting of someone who questioned the existence instead of flat-out denied it. I also was not ready to accept that I was an atheist.

3. Do you prefer to be called something else (humanist, freethinker, etc.)?

I prefer "atheist". Although other labels could apply to me, I do not want to hide the fact that I have no belief in god/gods. My belief is that we have to show other people that "atheist" is not a dirty word and we are just normal people.

4. Would you say you are outspoken about being an atheist?

Sometimes. Most people who know me, including my last job, know that I am an atheist. I do not announce it to people who I do not know, but on a few occasions, I have spoken to people who pray at inappropriate meetings that it makes me uncomfortable (like our county Democratic meetings).

5. Have you ever felt left out/repressed/neglected because you are an atheist?

Absolutely. As mentioned above, I have been told that "everyone else is comfortable with the prayers, so just be quiet while they pray". I have also been looked at as if I were Satan. Also, in my community, there are two places to meet people---bars and churches. There are more religious events than just about anything else for social activities, and I do not want to join in.

6. How do you think society generally views atheists?

There are two ways for people to view atheists. One is just refusing to believe that we really do not believe in God, and they are the ones who are always saying that they will pray for us or try to save us by convincing us that we are wrong. The other view is that we are evil or immoral and cannot be trusted. I think that atheists are one of the few groups who it is still acceptable to disparage. It would not surprise me that it would be legal to discriminate against an atheist.

[wavesofeuphoria]

12. Thank you!!! Much appreciated :)

[mr blur]

13. I just sent her an email.

Hope it helps.

[wavesofeuphoria]

14. Thanks! It certainly will!! :)

[mr blur]

15. BTW -

Sorry I mentioned you to her as "your father" - I guess I'm just another sexist, misogynist atheist.

[wavesofeuphoria]

16. lol ... no worries

Neither of us think that was misogynistic - we don't really sweat the small stuff. Meant more as an FYI than any chastising. And, she liked reading about experiences of atheists in the UK ... really helping her with perspective. Thanks again for your help

[Warren Stupidity]

17. my answers

1. raised atheist.
2. I never thought gods existed. Always was an atheist, although probably would have said I was "non religious" until about 20 years ago.
3. No. I prefer to be called an atheist.
4. yes.
5. yes. Even as a young child I was aware that my family was different.
6. with suspicion and/or pity - pity because obviously we are going to burn in hell.

[wavesofeuphoria]

20. Thank you WS!!

[Bryce Butler]

18. I'll answer here, if you don't mind...

(Answers in bold)

1. Did you grow up in a religious household/community?

I grew up in an extremely religious household. We started out as Mennonite then switched to Assemblies of God.

2. At what age did you start identifying yourself as an atheist? How long had you been questioning the existence of a god before you "became" an atheist?

I started identifying as an atheist around the age of 15. I went to a christian highschool where the in-depth teaching of the bible started giving me more questions than answers.

3. Do you prefer to be called something else (humanist, freethinker, etc.)?

It doesn't really matter what label is given to me.

4. Would you say you are outspoken about being an atheist?

If the occasion arises. Online is a different story.

5. Have you ever felt left out/repressed/neglected because you are an atheist?

When I first told my parents about my views. Their reaction was to disown me.

6. How do you think society generally views atheists?

I remember seeing a study where atheists were among the least-trusted...

[wavesofeuphoria]

21. Thanks so much!!

[NeoGreen]

19. Done

1. Did you grow up in a religious household/community?
a. Somewhat: Forced to be baptized Lutheran at age 7 (it was the local denomination), but family stopped attending as a whole by age 9.
b. Yes: General (regional) community is predominantly catholic, and it is very hard to not be aware of this bias on a daily basis.

2. At what age did you start identifying yourself as an atheist?
a. Using that specific label? ~19
b. Start to realize much of the story was bunk? ~8

3. How long had you been questioning the existence of a god before you "became" an atheist?
a. ~11 years (see above)

4. Do you prefer to be called something else (humanist, freethinker, etc.)?
a. Yes. Realist.

5. Would you say you are outspoken about being an atheist?
a. I would say not much, since I do not bring it up as a topic without someone else raising the issue, which very few tend to ask right out “are you an atheist?”.

6. Have you ever felt left out/repressed/neglected because you are an atheist?
a. Actively repressed? No, not that I can think of.
b. Passively neglected? All the time.

7. How do you think society generally views atheists?
a. In general, I perceive the predominant view as negative.

[wavesofeuphoria]

22. Many thanks!!

[wavesofeuphoria]

23. kicking to the top one last time :)

[mr blur]

24. Do you know if the other 2 emails I sent arrived? (nt)

[wavesofeuphoria]

26. Sorry I didn't reply sooner!!

She did! Thank you. She is actually using the info in her paper ... thanks a lot !!!

[RussBLib]

25. better late than never?

Is she still working on the paper? My answers are nothing too special, but here they are:

1. Did you grow up in a religious household/community? My family was not all that religious, thank goodness, but I grew up in East Texas, an extremely religious area. Both of my parents sang in the choir at church and forced us as kids to go to church when we were very young. They baptized me at a very early age. So early, in fact, that I have no recollection of it. (My opinion is this should be prohibited. Baptism should only happen with a person’s informed consent. No wonder they want to "get them young" before they can even think for themselves.)

2. At what age did you start identifying yourself as an atheist? How long had you been questioning the existence of a god before you "became" an atheist? Probably around age 20 while I was in my second year of college and took some philosophy, logic, psychology and physics classes. I will be forever grateful to the professor who turned me onto Bertrand Russell and Robert Ingersoll. I had not really even thought about it until my mind was pried open in college, but I had not gone to any church since I was about 10. I do remember, when other people would talk about church, that I thought the idea was really stupid and a waste of time.

3. Do you prefer to be called something else (humanist, freethinker, etc.)? Atheist is fine with me. I often self-identify as a freethinker and humanist.

4. Would you say you are outspoken about being an atheist? At work, yes, whenever the conversation turns to things religious, which it occasionally does. I do not bring it up out of the blue. All of my friends know that I am atheist, and I would say that well over half of them are also atheist. I am quite “out” on my blog and get some frequent comments from intolerant religionistas who feel the need to dump vitriol on me, but I just laugh it off as ignorance. I don’t publish those hateful comments on my blog. All of my family knows I am atheist, and one of my two sisters also identifies as atheist.

5. Have you ever felt left out/repressed/neglected because you are an atheist? I have never really experienced this, perhaps because I do not tend to associate with religious persons. Most of my co-workers are highly-educated attorneys and I would say that maybe 25% of them identify as atheist. I don’t actively seek out atheists. It just turns out that the friends that I have known for years are also atheist. How cool is that?

6. How do you think society generally views atheists? Negatively, certainly, but I think that is only because many people don’t know even one person who is “out” as an atheist. The struggle is similar to the gay experience. There was so much negativity around being gay, most all of it religious-driven, until gays started coming “out” and then practically everyone knew someone or had a family member that was gay. So atheists need to come "out". When it hits that close to home, people begin to accept it. Of course, there will always be overly-religious people who will view being gay as negative, and likewise for atheists.

[wavesofeuphoria]

27. Thank you!! Very much appreciated! And not too late!! :)