Hogwart's School of Prayer and Miracles

[Warpy]

If you're a good Christian, you know that the Harry Potter books have been declared tools of Satan and an entry portal into witchcraft and hell but you want the kiddies to be able to read something popular and you're in a quandary about what to do.

Well, Proud Housewife has come up with the answer, and is happily rewriting the books as Christian Harry Potter Fanfic. I give you the Hogwart's School of Prayer and Miracles, with an almost pathological devotion to footwear:

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10644439

Trust me, it's comedy gold.

[mr blur]

1. You're right - comedy gold.

"I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches!"

And it goes downhill from there on.

[AtheistCrusader]

2. Oh, that is painful to read. But on the subject of Fanfic...

I give you THE SALVATION WAR

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=118769&highlight=

[Curmudgeoness]

3. Bwahahaha. OMG, that is bad.

It is definitely more than "some slight changes". Right off the bat, before she got out of the author notes, she ends a sentence with a preposition.....great writer.

And apparently, she isn't just selling Jesus......"Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short, curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen; and put a tray of moist, chocolatey brownies in the oven." And that is just the start of the digs against women who work outside of the house.

These people scare the shit out of me. Seriously.

[progressoid]

4. Wow. Just wow.

[sinkingfeeling]

5. I found it absolutely creepy!

[Rob H.]

6. I don't know whether to find that disturbing or stupid (or both)

People flying around on brooms and casting spells? That's just crazy and wrong! It's evil, I tell ya, evil!

A man receiving a set of rules set down on two tablets by an invisible man who lives in the sky (who in this case appears as a fiery bit of talking shrubbery) or a man being tortured to death and rising from the dead three days later and then flying up into the clouds? True. Completely true. Every bit of it.

[AlbertCat]

7. Perhaps her kids can explain to her....

.... that witchcraft isn't real.

[DetlefK]

8. My brain was melting. And I liked it.