My LOL for the day.

[CrispyQ]

I was hiking with a friend this morning. She landed a new web client for a company that sells stuff to churches. I asked what kind of stuff. She said stuff like chalices, little cups for the wine to go in and even Communion wafers. I asked what the wafers were made of. "Oh wheat, but they have gluten free ones now, too."

We laughed & laughed & wondered if there are now two lines for Communion.

[Ron Obvious]

1. So much for the miracle of transubstantiation anyway, eh?

No church that holds to that doctrine could use gluten-free wafers without looking hypocritical.

[mr blur]

2. Ah, transubstantiation...

You'd think they could just magic the gluten right out of it.

[uriel1972]

9. Great picture, but I'm sure it will be alerted on soon... nt

[Curmudgeoness]

3. Communion,

one of the most disgusting rituals in the Christian church.

John 6:53-58 - English Standard Version (ESV)

53 So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. 55 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. 56 Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. 57 As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread[a] the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”

[A HERETIC I AM]

7. I have been to several "Holy Eucharist" ceremonies since I came to understand better.....

(read "became Atheist&quot and I have gotten up and walked out.

I am not going to sit and watch, much less partake in a pseudo-cannibalistic ritual.

(I was raised Episcopalian, and the Holy Eucharist is the equivalent of Catholic Mass, just in case you weren't aware)

[AlbertCat]

4. New and improved Jesus

Now gluten free with more antioxidants!



Remember these?

[CrispyQ]

5. Funny! So this is what it looks like now days?

I've only taken Communion once when I finished confirmation. I'm still not sure what confirmation was about. But back then, they still used little glass cups about the size of a thimble.

[Heddi]

10. I posted a link a few months ago---you can get 4 of those for $1

I'll see if I can find it again. It was grape juice and a wafer. You can buy the wafers on Amazon. They're not holy, though. They have to be holyized or else they're just a cracker

http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafer-Plain-Pk-250-Pack/dp/B004J0DEX2/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408924111&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=conmunion+wafer

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

11. Some of the reviews made me laugh

Delicious with brie, too bland for cheddar.

My kids loves these as a snack.

[CrispyQ]

13. "They have to be holyized or else they're just a cracker."

[RussBLib]

6. just goes to show

...that people are going to give up their religious crutch only when they are dead.

It seems to me that it will likely take centuries before humanity outgrows the need for the religious crutch. Meanwhile, I kinda enjoy tweaking the religious beliefs of others and co-workers. Could be because I am now close to retirement and the shackles are falling away.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

8. And we need to kill people over it.

Because the difference between transubstantiation and consubstantiation is important, dammit.

Killing Catholics or Protestants because they believe in the other one is what you gotta do.

At least back in the day of Henry VIII, John Calvin, Martin Luther, Mary Tudor and Elizabeth the First. Lots of barbecuing people over it.

That doctrinal shit is important.

[OriginalGeek]

12. In baptist church we used grape juice.

Because alcohol is a sin.

It still makes me laugh that they would tell us every single word of the King James Version of the bible is the divinely inspired, 100% literal word of god.

Except "wine".


A youth pastor told me (with a straight face) that in bible times words meant different things than they do now. Back then, wine meant juice. Apparently though, that's the only word that changed over the years.

[AlbertCat]

14. that in bible times words meant different things

Especially English words.

[OriginalGeek]

16. lol! yep!

I often wondered if he thought the 1600s were "bible times". If you listen to a group of them talking about it you'd get the impression dear ol' King James was right there taking dictation from Adam, Moses and Paul. Pretty good trick! Must have had a time machine.

[mr blur]

18. Ah, the good old KJV -

[OriginalGeek]

19. Oh man thanks for that!

I knew it was bad I guess I didn't really realize HOW bad. My little brothers will be getting a dose of this - not that it will change their minds but maybe it will help them understand a little better why I don't believe.

[mr blur]

20. I've shown it to people who believe that their god dictated it personally to King James,

but it had no effect at all, of course.

[onager]

25. Thank A Homosexual For Your Bible

Article at the Liberated Xians site, about James I, a/k/a "Queen James."

Always happy to help another ex-Baptist give his relatives apoplexy. Assuming it's a case of apoplexy accepted, of course...

http://www.libchrist.com/other/homosexual/kingjames.html

[AlbertCat]

22. Ah, the good old KJV -

But you should try to read what they replaced!

As lit... the KJV is great!

[trotsky]

15. Baptist joke:

Q: Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?
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A: It might lead to dancing!

[OriginalGeek]

17. lol!

Dancing and movies were the devil's work. My Methodist cousin loves to tell Baptist jokes:


Why do you have to take a minimum of two Baptists fishing?
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because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

[trotsky]

21. Awesome, I gotta tell that one to my ex-Baptist wife. :) n/t

[Lordquinton]

23. one question

Who has sex standing up? Might lead to the emergency room before dancing.

[AlbertCat]

24. Who has sex standing up?

How else are you supposed to do it in an elevator?