Oh, goody. At least 7 new Bible based movies are in the works.

[progressoid]

Last edited Tue Mar 19, 2013, 02:01 AM - Edit history (1)

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/hollywood-finds-religion-18759905?tab=9482931§ion=1206836&playlist=2898870

Transcript for Hollywood Finds Religion

We think of hollywood is on the hunt for a new computer monster or a car chase. So, how is it there are now seven new movies about to star noah or moses or pontius pilate?

...

The bible, the tv show, not the book, is today's hot topic around the water coolers here at the calvary community church. We do watch it with the actual bible and follow along with the story.

He'll say to me, did that really happen? I said, well, check it in the bible.

Reporter: This mini series is a dramaization of the bible's stories, produced by mark burne burnett.

Its success with the 26% of americans who identify themselves as evangelical christians. To get people to actually want to open god's word, the bible, and begin to understand it. Reporter: At least seven other biblical movies are in the works right now.

Russell crowe is playing noah. He was laughing. Our arc is bigger than your arc.

Reporter: Christian bale apparently set to play moses. And there's talk brad pitt might take on the role of pontius pilot.

...

Reporter: With the bible and everything else to come, hollywood is now chasing the christian dollar. But as one believer just told me, the word of god is written. He didn't leave us a youtube clip.

[Act_of_Reparation]

1. It may be late, but that math does't sound right to me

Last I looked, 73% of Americans identify as Christians, a far cry from 26%.

[progressoid]

3. You're right. I'll edit it.

It's supposed to be 26% evangelical xians. ABC's transcript of the video isn't too accurate. Big surprise.

[Curmudgeoness]

10. The transcript certainly has spelling issues too.

It is an ark, not an arc. And it is Pontius Pilate, not Pontius Pilot......although that one made me laugh.

[progressoid]

12. I have a friend that drives a Honda Pilate.

[JNelson6563]

18. Or a Pontiac

[awoke_in_2003]

17. I work at a flight training center...

and for Halloween one of the instructors wore a roman robe, laurel on his head, carrying a flight bag. No one got what he came as- "Pontius Pilot".

[Curmudgeoness]

19. Well, at least he knew he was making a joke.

Or I suspect as much. Gotta wonder how many people don't know that it is not "Pilot".

[awoke_in_2003]

20. I don't know, but I just remembered a joke...

What is the difference between god and a pilot? God doesn't claim to be a pilot.

[backscatter712]

2. Think we'll get lynched if we riff them, MST3k style?

These movies should provide plenty of material...

[progressoid]

4. NO! Don't do it!

They're already being oppressed!11!

[awoke_in_2003]

21. I always read it "repressed"...

and think of this scene
http://m.

[progressoid]

23. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Love that scene.

[awoke_in_2003]

24. I was going to post the whole thing...

but decided this would be quicker.

[sigmasix]

5. isnt there supposed to be a war on Christianty?

How does this speak to the right wing teabagger narrative of a secular war against Christianity in America? I see plenty of evidence for the claim that hollywood has almost always reinforced official church dogma about the historic accuracy of the bible. One of the few well financed biblical history movies that represented a non-official reading of the Bible(New Testament)-other than the catholic demon possession horror movies- was "The Last Temptation of Christ", a beautiful story about the true nature of sacrifice.
What war?

[cynatnite]

6. It's more about Hollywood looking to make more money...

Hollywood's always been in the religion makes money mode. They thought they found a niche market when Passion of the Christ came out. It was short lived. There were a host of religious movies made in the 50's and 60's.

This is no different.

[awoke_in_2003]

22. Speaking of that movie...

have you ever seen it? It was the most shocking movie I have ever seen. It left me momentarily angry, even though I knew it was not rational to be so. It, like the passion plays, we're meant to serve only one purpose- to foster anti-semitism.

[cynatnite]

25. Yes, I've watched it a couple of times...

I think it's a well made fascinating movie. Given the history of Mel Gibson and his father, how it was presented could be interpreted as anti-Semitic. I disagree with your perceptions about its intentions.

[awoke_in_2003]

26. The passion plays in Europe...

were used to stir anti-Semitic sentiments. Th Passion of the Christ is no different.

[Auggie]

7. At least these films are open about their content ...

unlike Life of Pi. I purposely went to see it not knowing anything about the story. Had I known belief was subtext to the story I wouldn't have gone. I'm still pissed.

[Arugula Latte]

8. These will make Harry Potter look like a documentary.

[0zone]

9. I've been waiting for a good movie version.

Now I won't have to read The Book.

[Curmudgeoness]

11. You really should read the book.

Movies never do it justice.....and I have a feeling that the movies will not give you some of the more interesting pieces. I bet you will miss the story of Dinah and the Shechemites if you wait for the movie.

http://rarebible.wordpress.com/2009/06/07/rape-circumcision-and-mass-murder/

[Lordquinton]

13. Had some people knock at my door to hand me a flier for the TV series

they were lucky I was trying to get my mp3 player in place. And hold back my big dog. And trying to answer my phone.

[DetlefK]

14. Yes! Brown-skinned unshaved non-violent dudes with bad teeth and long, oily hair!

(There's a verse in the Bible that says that you should balm your hair with olive-oil. Maybe as a conditioner?)

Let's see if they will portray those ancient times in a realistic fashion.



Oh, I've got an even better idea!
How about a caucasian, square-chinned, well-shaved, ripped Jesus Christ who joins the zealot-movement (those resistance-fighters that tried to get rid of the roman oppression).
I want to see a bloody skirmish between zealots and romans.
I want an inspirational speech by Jesus in which he curses the romans and every tenth word is "freedom"!
I want to see Jesus drink beer (yes, it already existed back then).
I want to see two hot women fall in love with him, only to be pushed away because he has a higher calling: The dark-haired one is jewish and the blond one is roman.
I want to see an evil guy who looks totally arabic. (Judas could be the only arabic-looking guy among the caucasian apostles.)
I want a wacky side-kick for Jesus.
I want to see how a whole bunch of bad guys tries to get Jesus and he defeats them singlehandedly.
I want to see the criminal Barabbas pay respect to Jesus for his work. "Dude, you're hard-core."
I want to see a close-up of Judas' eyes at the last supper.
I want the last scene to be upbeat, how the apostles spread out to found christian communities.
And of course, I want the narrator to say that God told him what to write down.

[progressoid]

15. Coming soon to a theatre near you. Djesus Uncrossed.

[RebelOne]

16. I have heard that olive oil gets rid of lice in the hair.

Maybe people had a lot of lice in those times.

[onager]

27. Update: Producers demand Bible teachings in public schools

As reported yesterday on the Christian Post website:

Before The Bible premiered on History Channel, Downey and Burnett told The Wall Street Journal, the Bible should be a mandatory subject in American public schools.

"The foundations of knowledge of the ancient world---which informs the understanding of the modern world---are biblical in origin."

http://breathecast.christianpost.com/articles/6817/20130328/historychannels-the-bible-miniseries-producers-mark-burnett-roma-downey.htm

"Downey" is the hacktress Roma Downey. She played the angel Monica on the TV series Touched By An Anus. She's also a co-producer of The Babble mini-series.

The other co-producer, Mark Burnett, is Downey's husband. He is credited as the inventor of reality TV. Also, according to the Black Christian News, he has been called "the Republicans' intellectual God" after his reality series on Sarah Palin.

The BCN also reports a minor kerfuffle over the actor portraying Satan - some people thought he resembled President Obama:

http://www.blackchristiannews.com/news/2013/03/mark-burnett-and-roma-downey-call-satans-obama-resemblance-in-the-bible-utter-nonsense.html

[progressoid]

28. "Touched By An Anus"

Ok, I've had a kind of crappy day/week.
Reading that made me feel much better.



And what the fuck is this..."The foundations of knowledge of the ancient world---which informs the understanding of the modern world---are biblical in origin."

[AlbertCat]

29. He'll say to me, did that really happen? I said, well, check it in the bible.

Go ahead... check in the Bible.... still won't know if "that really happened"