"Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus have a sword fight."

[progressoid]

I've been reading this book The Internet is a Playground by David Thorne
http://www.amazon.com/Internet-Playground-Irreverent-Correspondences-Online/dp/1585428817/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1297779523&sr=1-1

Thought you heathens would enjoy his little back and forth he had with a 'Christian Volunteer' regarding a permission slip. This happened in Australia by the way.

Thankfully, this story is also online.

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 10 March 2010 7.12pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Permission Slip

Dear Darryl,
I have received your permission slip featuring what I can only assume is a levitating rabbit about to drop an egg on Jesus.

Thank you for pre-ticking the permission box as this has saved me not only from having to make a choice, but also from having to make my own forty five degree downward stroke followed by a twenty percent longer forty five degree upward stroke. Without your guidance, I may have drawn a picture of a cactus wearing a hat by mistake.
As I trust my offspring's ability to separate fact from fantasy, I am happy for him to participate in your indoctrination process on the proviso that all references to 'Jesus' are replaced with the term 'Purportedly Magic Jew.'
Regards, David.

-------------------------------------------

From: Darryl Robinson
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 9.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Permission Slip

Hello David
The tick in the box already was a mistake I noticed after printing them all. I've seen the play and it's not indoctrinating anyone. It's a fun play performed by a great bunch of kids. You do not have to be religious to enjoy it. You are welcome to attend if you have any concerns.
Darryl Robinson, School Chaplain

------------------------------------------

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 11.02am
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Permission Slip

Dear Darryl,
Thank you for the kind offer, being unable to think of anything more exciting than attending your entertaining and fun filled afternoon, I tried harder and thought of about four hundred things.

I was actually in a Bible based play once and played the role of 'Annoyed about having to do this.' My scene involved offering a potplant, as nobody knew what Myrrh was, to a plastic baby Jesus then standing between 'I forgot my costume so am wearing the teachers poncho' and 'I don't feel very well'. Highlights of the play included a nervous donkey with diarrhoea causing 'I don't feel very well' to vomit onto the back of Mary's head, and the lighting system, designed to provide a halo effect around the manger, overheating and setting it alight. The teacher, later criticised for dousing an electrical fire with a bucket of water and endangering the lives of children, left the building in tears and the audience in silence. We only saw her again briefly when she came to the school to collect her poncho.

Also, your inference that I am without religion is incorrect and I am actually torn between two faiths; while your god's promise of eternal life is very persuasive, the Papua New Guinean mud god, Pikkiwoki, is promising a pig and as many coconuts as you can carry.
Regards, David.

and much more...! http://www.27bslash6.com/easter.html

[A HERETIC I AM]

1. Thorne is a fucking genius and hilarious.

Go to his website and read "Missing Missy"


Make sure you are not drinking or eating while you do it, trust me.

[progressoid]

2. That's one of the reasons I had to get the book.

Its amazing how long people will keep responding to him.

[Ron Obvious]

5. Priceless!

I'd never heard of the man before, but you were absolutely right, I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.



I also enjoyed 'Obvious Foggot'.

[SidDithers]

10. Heheh. Should have read the whole thread before adding to it...

Missing Missy is one awesome.

Sid

[kdmorris]

3. ROFL... that was a great read :) n/t

[trotsky]

4. Also fantastic is his follow up book,

I'll Go Home Then; It's Warm and Has Chairs.

[progressoid]

8. Dang.

Our local library doesn't have it.

Half.com I suppose.

[nana sew dear]

6. Very funny

Where are these clever replies when we need them? Than you for the laugh.

[progressoid]

7. Welcome to DU nana sew dear!

Hope you enjoy it here!

[SidDithers]

9. I really like David Thorne...

the Story of Missy, the Lost Cat literally had my wife and I crying tears of laughter.

http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html

Thanks for posting that.

Sid

[Iggo]

11. Funnier and funnier as it goes along...

...and I was in tears and laughing out loud by the end.

MUCH THUMBS UP!

[LiberalFighter]

12. Why do the religious want to use school time for this?

So it appears that Australia have school chaplains. And those that do not have the same faith are denied full service from the chaplains or are pressured.

Maybe with more David Thorne's thinking for themselves and not behaving like a herd of cows there will be more progress in this area. And ridiculing those with religious twisted minds out in public.