A Cult Is Trying To Recruit Bob Dylan Fans
A few days ago, I went to see Bob Dylan play in Charleston, South Carolina. As I was leaving the show, I walked by a trio of hippie-ish young guys who were enthusiastically passing out newsletters to people as they left the venue. One of them thrust some paper into my hand, so I stuck it in my bag and quickly forgot about it.
It wasn't until the next day that I realized I'd been given 23 pages of religious craziness written to/about Bob Dylan by some cult called Twelve Tribes who were trying to recruit Bob and his fans.
I'm writing about it now, a week later, because as much as I wanted to read through it and make fun of it right there and then, it was so poorly written and flat-out insane that it took me three days to make it all the way through.
It seems that the cult's obsession with Bob stems from a rambling, 1985 interview he did with SPIN, which was so fucking crazy I assumed they must have made it up themselves. But I looked into it, and it turns out it's legit. Here's some weird stuff he said about "the messianic thing":
"The messianic thing has to do with the world of mankind, like it is. This world is scheduled to go for 7,000 years. Six thousand years of this, where man has his way, and 1,000 years when God has his way. Just like a week. Six days work, one day rest. The last thousand years is called the Messianic Age. Messiah will rule. He is, was, and will be about God—doing God’s business. Drought, famine, war, murder, theft, earthquake, and all other evil things will be no more. No more disease. That’s all of this world."
He then went on to say some confusing stuff about Jews:
"There will be a run on godliness, just like now there’s a run on refrigerators, headphones, and fishing gear. It’s going to be a matter of survival. People are going to be running to find out about God, and who are they going to run to? They’re gonna run to the Jews, ’cause the Jews wrote the book, and you know what? The Jews ain’t gonna know. They’re too busy in the fur business and in the pawn shops and in sending their kids to some atheist school. They’re too busy doing all that stuff to know."
Jeeeeez, Bob. I didn't know you was like that.
The Twelve Tribes address Bob directly in a section appropriately titled “To Bob Dylan," in which they kiss his ass pretty heavily. Here’s the (totally not creepy) intro:
“Your songs from the early years were anthems for generations to come. They are prophetic in so many ways at many different levels. They touch the complex and deep longing of the soul for a real answer... your lyrics bring the ills of society and the pain and suffering of our individual lives to the surface.”
That's ordinary, teenager-who-just-started-listening-to-Dylan stuff, but then they move into a section where they take a ton of his greatest hits and make completely unfounded, nonsensical speculations as to their lyrical meanings.
Much more: http://www.vice.com/read/a-cult-is-trying-to-recruit-bob-dylan-fans
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You know, All along the Watchtower.
