Ten Commandments for Starting Your Own Religion

[cbayer]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danweiss/ten-commandments-for-starting-your-own-religion_b_2729533.html

Dan Weiss
Associate professor of psychology and linguistics

Posted: 02/25/2013 1:50 pm

When Pope Gregory XII abdicated some 600 years ago, it was in the service of ending a period of deep turmoil. By contrast, the current pope's decision to turn in his satin slippers has stunned many parishioners. If ever there was a window to start your own religion, this may be it. In the spirit of George Bernard Shaw, who once remarked, "There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it," I'd like to help in the process by advancing a number of core principles that characterize most successful religions. Here are my Ten Commandments for designing a top-tier religion.

1. It's all about sex

Keep your followers obsessed with sex. First, make sex taboo. Then focus on it relentlessly and discourage birth control. Why? In order to crack the top tier, you are going to need adherents. A lot of them. Sure, you can vie with the Krishnas for a few "undecideds," but those are slim pickins. The fact is, you are going to need to grow your own. Take heed of others who have ignored this principle. Great furniture for sure, but there is nary a Shaker to be found. Of course, there is another obvious advantage to this commandment.

2. Go old school

For whatever reason, people have an awful lot of respect for generations of yore. Back in the day, God seemed to keep regular office hours. Starting a religion based on a more recent time period is tacky (yeah, I'm looking at you L. Ron). You also run the risk of being labeled a cult.

Unfortunately, all of the ancient texts are basically spoken for at this point. So, what to do? Pick a lesser-known character from the Bible, and weave a new story around him (sorry, ladies, this is religion, so we need to be misogynists). Take Arodi for example. Never heard of him? According to the Bible, he went down with Joseph to Egypt. Want to learn more about him? Well, conveniently "find" the Book of Arodi, an ancient text describing how Arodi was actually the central protagonist of the biblical era.

more at link

[riqster]

1. I remember Judy Tenuta

She was founding a religion called "Judyism".

[rrneck]

2. Starting a religion is a lot like starting a resturant.

Just find a new way to get lots of fat, salt and sugar in the food and you're good to go.

[cbayer]

3. Except some of the more successful restaurants today are thriving because

they focus on nutrition, healthy eating and natural foods.

[rrneck]

4. True, but they're still 'niche markets'.

Both religion and food are in the business of giving people what they want in a new and interesting way. We are genetically designed to want fat, salt and sugar. We are also (probably) genetically designed to seek emotional predictability.

[cbayer]

5. Well, sometimes I want broccoli, lol.

[rrneck]

8. Me too.

Maybe that's the secret. Teaching people to want the right things. Of course I'm posting on a phone - at Wendy's.

[cbayer]

11. Lol! I like Wendy's as well, but not everyday.

Maybe I am one of those for whom predictability is not always that important.

Right now, I am on a sailboat without an engine. Next step is not all that clear.

[msongs]

6. commandment 11 - all commandments are expendable when inconvenience arises nt

[cbayer]

7. Commandment 12 - drop snark, but don't bother to defend it

[trotsky]

10. ???

The entire article from the OP was snark!

And you're upset because someone contributed a bit more?

[skepticscott]

12. Sheesh..this from the person

Who dumps all kinds of wrong-headed, shit-stirring posts into the forum, and then refuses to defend them when she's shown that they're nothing but bilge.

[pinto]

9. LOL, good read.

[Nye Bevan]

13. "Tell people to go home early on Fridays" as observant Jews do.

That's one of the first things I would put in a new religion.