Have you ever actively deconverted someone?

[Humanist_Activist]

I have, and it took a long time, and I feel entirely justified in what I did, and she is grateful for it herself.

First, some background, I'm talking about my best friend, she was raised a Mormon, and is a lesbian. For many years, she was still trying to be a faithful Mormon and deny her sexuality, and it was eating her up inside, before I met her, she already attempted suicide once, and then she attempted it again in front of me a second time(I intervened, no injury, thank goodness).

She knew I was an Atheist, and I was never preachy about it, until after that second attempt, she sought emotional help, and I provided it, by telling her that all the crap her parents and church taught her were a lie, a straight up hoax. She would stay up at night feeling guilty about not having her "spirit children" become flesh or something like that(its from memory, some Mormon thing).

Its hard to see someone carry so much emotional baggage and guilt. It took many years to help her overcome this bullshit, a deprogramming process, if you will. Most of the time it was explaining the positive things I believe, about the intrinsic worthiness of human beings as individuals, equal rights, treatment, etc.

It was never easy, but at least now she doesn't have to go through guilt trips and thoughts of worthlessness.

[cbayer]

1. Let me get this straight.

You had a friend who made two suicide attempts and you took it upon yourself to become her personal therapist.

I'm glad she is ok, but that's really a bad idea in general.

Oh, and in answer to your question - no. Nor have I ever tried to convert anyone.

[Humanist_Activist]

2. No, not her therapist, just her friend...

sorry I wasn't clearer, I actually referred her to a doctor that she went to for a short while.

[cbayer]

6. Glad to hear that.

[Jayce Cox]

3. I hope your friend found peace

She needs professional help to work through the grieving process of her former "Mormon hopes".
There are many gay and lesbian Mormons who have been able to find a middle ground and many who have not.
Calling Mormonism a hoax is not helpful, and offensive.
You can connect her to Affirmation.org (LGBT Mormons) or ReformedMormonism.org (Liberal Mormons) to find kindred spirits who can relate to her unique experiences. Not all Mormons believe being gay is sinful or reason to hate yourself. God makes no mistakes.
Trying to de-convert someone makes as much sense as my knocking on your door to hand you a Book of Mormon.
Its better to agree to disagree and see beyond the labels to our shared humanity.

Just my thoughts
Jayce
Montana

[Humanist_Activist]

4. I don't see what's offensive about telling the truth...

that's one thing I won't do is lie. Besides that, she really doesn't want much to do with the Church as it is now. She has enough problems with her parents.

[Jayce Cox]

7. It's not polite

Never lie, your truth is what sets you free. But my truth is different from yours, that's what makes these forums so interesting. I don't blame her, I wish her well.

[rug]

5. Welcome to DU!

[Warren Stupidity]

8. All the time. Every weekend I go door to door asking people to not show

up at services on Sunday at my de Botton Church of the Unbeliever and they all don't show up!